![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
felineranger.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
reddwarfslash2009-04-19 12:49 pm
Double Trouble - Part 13
Chapter 13
Double Trouble – Part 13
“They’re speeding up, Sirs. I think they’re heading for that planetoid,” Kryten announced anxiously back on Starbug. “Is there any way we can catch-up with them before they land?” Rimmer asked.
“They’re too small and too fast,” Kryten shook his head, “And they had too much of a headstart.” Rimmer put his head in his hands. All his instincts told him that if his double got Lister onto that planetoid, they’d never see him again. “There’s got to be another way,” he moaned.
“I told you, buddy, we can’t go any faster. We’ll just have to catch up with them when they make planet-fall.”
“No,” Rimmer shook his head, “It will be too late. I know it.” They sank into a depressed silence.
Kryten drummed his fingers on his screen. Rimmer threw him a look. He knew that mannerism. It meant the mech was thinking something that he was reluctant to share. “Spit it out, Kryten.”
“Sir?”
“You’ve got an idea, haven’t you?”
“I wouldn’t call it an idea, Sir. Just a fleeting thought, nothing worth mentioning.”
“Kryten...”
“Believe me, Mister Rimmer, you wouldn’t care for the idea.”
“Kryten, if you don’t tell me this instant whatever hare-brained scheme you’ve concocted, I will scoop that mess of short-circuits and burnt-out chips that passes for your brain out of your skull and use your head as a fruit-bowl. Say it.”
“Well...We do have the garbage cannon, Sir.”
“What? Forget it, Kryten. We’re not going to shoot that thing down while he’s got Lister onboard!”
“That wasn’t what I was thinking, Sir. The thing is...anything that we shot out of the waste disposal would catch up with the transporter very quickly indeed. Within seconds. So, if somebody – theoretically – were to...”
“That’s ridiculous. The chute is only a foot square. And even if you could fire someone out of it, Cat would die instantly and you’d be blasted into fragments. I can see the benefits of either option, don’t get me wrong, but it wouldn’t help Lister.”
“Your light bee would fit, Sir. And I’m fairly sure that with sufficient...padding, it would sustain little or no damage.”
Rimmer stared at him, “You want to fire me out of the waste disposal.”
“Seems like a win-win situation to me,” Cat grinned.
“Listen, furball...”
“Forget it, Sir. I knew you wouldn’t agree. We’ll think of something else.” They fell back into silence. Kryten whistled faintly. Cat tapped a few buttons. “Transporter to make planet fall in approximately twenty-six minutes,” he said innocuously. “And counting,” he added unnecessarily.
“Are either of you two even trying to think of another plan?” Rimmer demanded.
“Of course, Sir. I’ve devoted seventy per cent of my run-time to finding a solution that doesn’t involve firing you out of anything.”
“And?”
“Nothing yet, Sir.”
“And I suppose there’s no point asking you,” he addressed Cat.
“Buddy, I’ve have fired you out of that chute years ago if it was down to me. As far as I’m concerned, if you can save Dormouse Cheeks at the same time, that’s just a bonus.”
“Damn you both,” Rimmer snapped, “I’m not doing it.” There was more silence. Cat tapped a few more buttons. “Transporter to make planet fall in twenty-three minutes and counting,” he said, and this time his voice was all accusation. “You know I’m really going to miss the monkey...”
“Shut up,” Rimmer said, “I’m going.”
Lister breathed deeply. His body hurt inside and out and he felt sick. The hell with this. The hell with all of it. If he was going to die then fine, but damned if he was going to spend eternity as this maniac’s hologramatic pet. He’d rather die here and now. He raised his head weakly, “It won’t work, you know,” he said, “You can download me and play with my memories and mess with my mind to your heart’s content, but you won’t get what you want.”
“What do you mean?” the double asked.
“I’ll never love you,” Lister said, “And you know what? I don’t think you really love me. I don’t think you even understand what love is. You wouldn’t know what to do with it if you had it.”
“I understand that in less than an hour from now you’re going to wake up and find that I’m all you have left,” the double told him coldly, “And we’ll see how choosy you are then, shall we?”
“We will. Because I can tell you right now, that even if you were the only person left in the universe, I still wouldn’t want you.”
“I’ll make you want me,” the double snarled, “I’ll make you get down on your knees and beg for me, even if it takes the rest of eternity!”
“It’s never going to happen, man. You’ve got this big plan worked out, how you’re going to make yourself out as the hero who’s saved me against all the odds? Do you honestly think I’m going to fall for that? I know you, Rimmer, and face facts, you’re a loser. Always have been and always will be. And even if by some miracle you manage to convince me with your bullshit story, it won’t make any difference. Because I’d still be thinking that you’d have done it better if you were Ace.”
The double went pale. Lister braced himself - Come on then, asshole. Kill me if you’re going to do it. “Oh, yes, I forgot,” the double said icily, “Nobody does it as well as Commander Rimmer, do they?” Lister hesitated, unsure where this was going. “I’m sure good old Ace Rimmer would have made a better job of kidnapping you as well,” the double snarled.
“You’ve got that right,” Lister retorted, “He wouldn’t have wasted time torturing me, that’s for smegging sure. He would have cut all of that crap and got straight down to what he really wanted. But you’re too messed up even for that, aren’t you?”
The double clenched his fists tightly, nails digging into his palms, “And you’d have let him do it too, wouldn’t you?” he said softly.
“Let him?” Lister forced a laugh, “Hell, Rimsy, for Ace I would have got down on my knees and begged.” The double’s hands were locked around his throat so fast that Lister never even saw him move. Go ahead, he thought in bitter triumph, Choke me. Get it over with.
“You know what?” the double hissed in his face, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I’ll never be Ace. But I can still have what he had. And guess what, Listy? When I’m done with your memories, you will be down on your knees...because you’ll be begging me to do it again.”
He snatched up the wire-cutters and cut Lister’s bonds. Lister crumpled to the ground. He tried to get up but his limbs were dead and useless from being tied up so long. The double dropped on top of him, grabbing his wrists and pinning him to the floor. “No!” Lister writhed beneath him, trying to force some strength back into his numb extremities. This had not gone according to plan. If the guy had been busy strangling him right now, he could have coped with that. At least he would have known that in some small way he’d chosen his own fate. If he’d gone back to torturing him, he could have coped with that as well. He could live with the pain. But he couldn’t cope with this and he didn’t think he could live with the kind of scars this would leave.
“Please,” he begged desperately, “Rimmer, please, don’t do this. I’ll come with you, I’ll do whatever you want, I’ll love you forever and ever, just please stop!”
“Sorry, Listy,” the double panted, unzipping his trousers, “But you asked for this. And now...you’re going to get it.”
“No, you’re going to get it, Squire!”
They both looked up in shock just as Rimmer brought the laptop crashing down on his double’s head.
no subject
Rimmer to the rescue!
...poor Listy...
can't help wondering if he meant any of that about Ace...
can see why crazy!Rimmer'd be paranoid.
no subject
no subject