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'k. I altered a Random Pairing generater a bit.

Red Dwarf Random Pairing Generator

Your mission, if you choose to accept it, is to write a fic from one pairing in that generator. Refresh as often as you need to.

If you have more characters, let me know and I'll add them.

Ah, and orange!Rimmer is

kahvi and

roadstergal's creation.

Enjoy!

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*sighs and adds Ackerman and Petersen*

Ackerman was in The End, right? He was the guy Rimmer reported all of those offenses to? Including the mutiny?

Or am I thinking of some other guy...?

Ackerman was only in series VIII. He was the warden for our boys. Rather camp but had rather lovely arms and shoulders *sigh*. And if I can remember correctly, he had a Batman fetish.

You're thinking of Todhunter, the man with the love Stasis speech.

I added him anyway, so you guys could get a few more laughs. And I thought of Legion, so he went into the pot.

Heck. I'll go add Todhunter and the Dinosaur. At least it'll confuse people. Anyone else I should add? (And before you ask, no, Nirvanah isn't going in and neither is Yvonne Macgruder. I dislike them, and we didn't see enough of them.)

...I'm going to get an entire cast list of every guest-star in the show, aren't I?

Nevermind. Nirvanah and MacGruder went in, along with Talkier Toaster.

Anyone else?

*grins broadly*

Right, now let me trawl through my memory banks. Confidence & Paranoia? There could be a bit of a kinky story there. Rimmer's Lust Monster! ... *snort* ... What about that man who yells at Rimmer &Kryten in "Backwards"?

Okay, I'm being silly now ...

Checklist.

Confidence/Paranoia? Sure! Why not?
Lust Monster: Um. No. ...Nevermind. There goes a plot-bunny. It's going into the mix. *sigh*
Drawcab Man: No. Absolutely not.

...How about I add in Mr. Flibble?

Waheee!!! Oh yes. Flibble definitely deserves to be in there *nod* ...How about human Kryten? What about Kryten's hand!!! *gets very silly and expects to be booted*

- Lind with an "s"

...

...

Sure, why not. Taranshula with an eye the size of a meatball, and Mr. Needs-two-polaroids.

By now I'm sure that anyone looking at the generator is immediately scarred.

Booted? Why would I boot you? For this kind of thing weird pairings are good. Very good. X3

Yes, I suppose you wouldn't. Oh, how I wish I could be logged into here so I can use the Bootporn icon that I don't have. *sigh* Great, now I have a weird image of Lister sneaking off with Kryten's hand and eyeball. *shudders*

Lemme think of some more random characters ...

Rimmer dressed up as Wilma Flinstone? Okay, so that didn't happen except for in my brain. Such a silly brain it is too. Right, er, sidetracked. Rimmer's Mother!!! :) Oh, that'd be a laugh getting Kryten's hand and Rimmer's polymorph mother. *snort*

Okay, the parents are good. And maybe Rimmer's brothers?

I can see it now...Kryten's Hand/Hollister.

Tom, Dick and Harry? Or whatever their names are ;)

Though I don't know how someone is going to be able to write a Nirvannah Crane/Howard Rimmer story ...

Oh! Don't forget Spanners. And Pete "Bongo" Tranter. And Hudzon! Who else ...

I took the easy way out and put Rimmer's Brother(s).

I honestly don't know. Maybe they're in the afterlife, or something. (Wait a minute. Who was Nirvanah before she was on the Enlightened/Holo-ship? Who was she before she died?)

...I totally forgot about those guys. In they go...

Nirvanah doesn't have a history that I'm aware of. I suppose it is the duty of fanfic writers to expand on that.

I haven't looked at the generator again (I'm at work) but I will when I get home. Who knows ... maybe I'll get my thinking cap out and write the first one that comes up. Well, only if it is Hollister and some obscure other character.

Thank you for your contributions. By now the thing should be able to inspire/scar many people. ^_^

Good luck when work releases you! it'll be fun to see what shows up around here. ;)

Something deranged, I'm sure. Hell, I wrote a Scully/chicken fic once. Okay, not quite but there was a chicken and there was Scully. And a cupboard as well.

No worries, matey. Glad to be of service! Oh, btw, I clicked on the generator thing and after two goes, I got Rimmer's Mother & the Hand!

Lister/Rimmer's mom is canon. ;)

Like a wild stallion!

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