http://hazeltea.livejournal.com/ (![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
hazeltea.livejournal.com) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
reddwarfslash2008-12-14 09:15 pm
hazeltea.livejournal.com) wrote in reddwarfslash2008-12-14 09:15 pm
Entry tags:
Fic: If (PG)
Title: If
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer (imp)
Disclaimer: I have no legal stake in Red Dwarf, I just do it for the lulz.
Lister sniffled in the darkened room as the last notes of Auld Lang Syne faded from the vid screen. He gulped down a mouthful of strong egg nog and wiped his mouth, before noisily blowing his nose with the napkin. Rimmer, who had willingly sat beside him throughout the film, despite what the hologram might later claim, looked to him in exasperation.
“Every year you watch this soppy movie, and every year you have to go and cry at the end. I mean, you know what’s going to happen, and it’s a smegging happy ending, anyway.” Rimmer took a sip of his egg nog. He didn’t need to eat, which was usually a small blessing; since his opinion was that most of what was served on Starbug wasn’t fit for human consumption in the first place. Still, even he had his weaknesses- hot tea, a bit of dark chocolate, and egg nog, which he hadn’t tasted in so long that he’d nearly forgotten it was one of his favorite things.
“Intense emotion of any sort makes you cry.” Lister replied. “It’s a human thing, or wouldn’t you know?”
Rimmer ignored the casual insult and pressed on. “I just don’t understand your obsession with this film. I mean, here you have a man with potential, with big dreams, ambition, and the actual means to make it all happen, but he lets people walk on him. He gives up his plans over and over again, it’s as if fate has decided to give him a royal flush at every hand, and he throws it all away to bet on a pair of deuces.”
“That’s the point.” Lister smiled. “He sacrificed everything in his life for the good of everyone he knew. He’s like… like a sort of lynchpin. There’d be no Bedford Falls without him.”
“No, instead there would be an actual city with a booming economy. Face it, Lister, George Bailey is a patsy. A pathetic doormat. So he’s content with that, good for him! Good for all of the people who take comfort in that message, that their lives are somehow meaningful because they prevent a possible alternate reality from occurring.” Rimmer’s snarl of superiority was replaced with a smug smile as he concluded his opinion.
“You don’t get the message, Rimmer.” Lister snarled. “The message is that every human life matters. It’s about doing things for the sake of others, about basic, honest kindness.”
Rimmer crossed his arms. “You know, Lister, you’re right. I don’t understand, because the people that I have met are nothing like that. It’s ridiculous.” He narrowed his eyes and frowned.
Lister bit back the insult forming on his lips and sighed. “Yeah, so, maybe you were dealt a bad hand, Rimmer. Maybe if you, or me, or anyone we knew had as many lucky breaks as in the movie, maybe it all would have been too tempting to turn down. It’s just nice to think that … that some people are strong enough to stick to their convictions, I guess.”
Rimmer nodded quietly, reaching once again for his drink. “In scripts, they are.”
“You know all about causality, Rimmer. What if we hadn’t been born? I mean, if I hadn’t been born, there wouldn’t be any Cats.”
“Sounds like a better world already.” Rimmer grumbled.
Lister turned to him, leaning forward slightly. “If you hadn’t been born-“
“My parents would be happy.” Rimmer concluded. “This is a pointless exercise.”
“It isn’t!” Lister cried. “If you didn’t exist, I mean…” Lister trailed off, unsure of the consequences. He bit his lip, realizing that he didn’t like any of the possible scenarios he imagined. “I’d be insane by now.” He said, softly. “Space crazy.”
“If I didn’t exist, someone else would have fixed the drive plate, and you wouldn’t be stuck in deep space in the first place.” Rimmer retorted.
“And there would be no Cats.” Lister replied.
“Will you stop it with the smegging useless Cats?” Rimmer growled. “Face it, you can’t think of one single thing that would be worse off without me.”
“Nirvanah would be worse off.” Lister said, quietly.
“Don’t bring her into this.” Rimmer said, with a curious, controlled apathy to his voice. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I was a blip on her radar. None of it matters.”
This was all going terribly wrong, somehow. Maybe it was the alcohol. It was making him stupid, and Rimmer moody. “If you didn’t exist…” Lister tried, momentarily unsure of what he was going to say;” I couldn’t spend Christmas Eve with you.” Lister looked down, and sighed. “Maybe it’s not a lot, but it’s a lot to me, not having Christmas alone.”
“Is it?” Rimmer asked, skeptically. Lister wished he could read his mind, to see clearly the conflicting emotions flickering through those eyes he knew so well.
“Yeah.” He said, looking up with newfound conviction. “I’m serious. It’s important.”
A small, smug grin graced Rimmer’s face, and Lister smiled. “You choose the next film.” He said, softly. Rimmer’s choice was going to be awful, he just knew it, but he could handle just about anything right now, when he felt almost content.
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer (imp)
Disclaimer: I have no legal stake in Red Dwarf, I just do it for the lulz.
Lister sniffled in the darkened room as the last notes of Auld Lang Syne faded from the vid screen. He gulped down a mouthful of strong egg nog and wiped his mouth, before noisily blowing his nose with the napkin. Rimmer, who had willingly sat beside him throughout the film, despite what the hologram might later claim, looked to him in exasperation.
“Every year you watch this soppy movie, and every year you have to go and cry at the end. I mean, you know what’s going to happen, and it’s a smegging happy ending, anyway.” Rimmer took a sip of his egg nog. He didn’t need to eat, which was usually a small blessing; since his opinion was that most of what was served on Starbug wasn’t fit for human consumption in the first place. Still, even he had his weaknesses- hot tea, a bit of dark chocolate, and egg nog, which he hadn’t tasted in so long that he’d nearly forgotten it was one of his favorite things.
“Intense emotion of any sort makes you cry.” Lister replied. “It’s a human thing, or wouldn’t you know?”
Rimmer ignored the casual insult and pressed on. “I just don’t understand your obsession with this film. I mean, here you have a man with potential, with big dreams, ambition, and the actual means to make it all happen, but he lets people walk on him. He gives up his plans over and over again, it’s as if fate has decided to give him a royal flush at every hand, and he throws it all away to bet on a pair of deuces.”
“That’s the point.” Lister smiled. “He sacrificed everything in his life for the good of everyone he knew. He’s like… like a sort of lynchpin. There’d be no Bedford Falls without him.”
“No, instead there would be an actual city with a booming economy. Face it, Lister, George Bailey is a patsy. A pathetic doormat. So he’s content with that, good for him! Good for all of the people who take comfort in that message, that their lives are somehow meaningful because they prevent a possible alternate reality from occurring.” Rimmer’s snarl of superiority was replaced with a smug smile as he concluded his opinion.
“You don’t get the message, Rimmer.” Lister snarled. “The message is that every human life matters. It’s about doing things for the sake of others, about basic, honest kindness.”
Rimmer crossed his arms. “You know, Lister, you’re right. I don’t understand, because the people that I have met are nothing like that. It’s ridiculous.” He narrowed his eyes and frowned.
Lister bit back the insult forming on his lips and sighed. “Yeah, so, maybe you were dealt a bad hand, Rimmer. Maybe if you, or me, or anyone we knew had as many lucky breaks as in the movie, maybe it all would have been too tempting to turn down. It’s just nice to think that … that some people are strong enough to stick to their convictions, I guess.”
Rimmer nodded quietly, reaching once again for his drink. “In scripts, they are.”
“You know all about causality, Rimmer. What if we hadn’t been born? I mean, if I hadn’t been born, there wouldn’t be any Cats.”
“Sounds like a better world already.” Rimmer grumbled.
Lister turned to him, leaning forward slightly. “If you hadn’t been born-“
“My parents would be happy.” Rimmer concluded. “This is a pointless exercise.”
“It isn’t!” Lister cried. “If you didn’t exist, I mean…” Lister trailed off, unsure of the consequences. He bit his lip, realizing that he didn’t like any of the possible scenarios he imagined. “I’d be insane by now.” He said, softly. “Space crazy.”
“If I didn’t exist, someone else would have fixed the drive plate, and you wouldn’t be stuck in deep space in the first place.” Rimmer retorted.
“And there would be no Cats.” Lister replied.
“Will you stop it with the smegging useless Cats?” Rimmer growled. “Face it, you can’t think of one single thing that would be worse off without me.”
“Nirvanah would be worse off.” Lister said, quietly.
“Don’t bring her into this.” Rimmer said, with a curious, controlled apathy to his voice. “It doesn’t matter anyway. I was a blip on her radar. None of it matters.”
This was all going terribly wrong, somehow. Maybe it was the alcohol. It was making him stupid, and Rimmer moody. “If you didn’t exist…” Lister tried, momentarily unsure of what he was going to say;” I couldn’t spend Christmas Eve with you.” Lister looked down, and sighed. “Maybe it’s not a lot, but it’s a lot to me, not having Christmas alone.”
“Is it?” Rimmer asked, skeptically. Lister wished he could read his mind, to see clearly the conflicting emotions flickering through those eyes he knew so well.
“Yeah.” He said, looking up with newfound conviction. “I’m serious. It’s important.”
A small, smug grin graced Rimmer’s face, and Lister smiled. “You choose the next film.” He said, softly. Rimmer’s choice was going to be awful, he just knew it, but he could handle just about anything right now, when he felt almost content.
no subject
Aww! *snoogles them together* Just too adorable!
no subject
no subject
This fic was made of win and awesome, just so you know.
no subject
And thank you :3 I'm glad you like it!
no subject
Rimmer's grin at the end = <3
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
This is my absolute favourite bit:
Lister turned to him, leaning forward slightly. âIf you hadnât been born-â
âMy parents would be happy.â Rimmer concluded. âThis is a pointless exercise.â
You get the characters so so right. Also, I really want to know what film Rimmer would pick :)
no subject
Think I'll leave it up to your imagination. Try googling the worst war movies ever made. It might be one of those. Or Heidi. Something with yodeling. lol.
no subject
You know, I don't think this was any more R/L than the actual show. It's just so very them - Rimmer being grouchy and bitter and Lister being relentlessly optimistic and maybe, just maybe, a little of that working through.
♥
no subject