Vignette: Shake

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Fic: Shake
Pairing: possible Rimmer/Lister pre-slash
Rating: G
Summary: Sometimes Rimmer glitches.
Notes: This is pretty short. I wrote it in response to a conversation on tumblr about the possibility of Rimmer having projection glitches. I imagine this takes place sometime around Series V.

Since the introduction of the light bee, Rimmer's limbs were no longer in the habit of wandering off on their own, and there was no longer any chance of his ending up with the wrong arm, voice or breast. Which was a relief, really.

The bee was three million years old, though, and even the best technology could deteriorate in that time. The Jupiter Mining Corporation did not have the best technology, so sometimes Rimmer glitched. His image would waver or snap, or his whole projection would go the wrong colour; sometimes he fell right through boundaries his program should have recognized. It was infuriating. It was undignified.

It was annoying as all hell, thought Lister, sipping a beer milkshake and watching a fizzling Rimmer pace around the bunkroom, ranting, because it was unfair, wasn't it, and the glitch wasn’t righting itself fast enough, and he couldn't even lie down and wait it out, could he, because the only boundaries his bee was currently recognizing were floors, and Lister you gimboid, what are you doing?

What Lister was doing was reaching into the hologram's chest to grab the malfunctioning bee, switching him off and giving it a good shake. Well, kicking TVs worked, didn't it? If only you could mute Rimmer like a TV. He switched the bee back on, tossing it in the air as Rimmer reappeared, staggering and clutching at the wall behind him.

"What the smeg do you think you're doing, millado?" he demanded. "I felt that! You can't just shake me around any which way like I'm some kind of toy."

Lister shrugged, unconcerned, and went back to his milkshake. "It worked, d'innit? You're not fizzling anymore."

"What?" Rimmer looked down at his body, looked at the wall he was leaning against, and patted himself down for damage. "Well." He cleared his throat. "I'll let you off the hook this time, Lister. But don't think this means you can go sticking your grotty hands into my projection and all over my light bee whenever you feel like it."

Lister ran his straw around the bottom of his glass, sucking up the end of the milkshake with a loud slurping sound. "Wouldn't dream of it." He tipped his chair back and grinned as the hologram spluttered in indignation.

Comments

[bayliss.livejournal.com]

Brilliant. :-)

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

[sallycandance.livejournal.com]

Oh, I enjoyed this one. Very IC. The indea that Rimmer glitches is intriguing--and of course Lister's approach is very down-to-Earth matter-of-fact. Ha! Of course Rimmer hates and; I bet he hates even more that it worked and now he can't even be mad at Lister.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Thank you! If Rimmer's conscious while his projection's shut off, then I imagine getting shaken like that would suck, even if it does solve the problem.

[sallycandance.livejournal.com]

It's a very interesting idea to have him be conscious while shut off. Opens up a whole slew of possibilities....

[saylee.livejournal.com]

In Meltdown, at least, he seems to be conscious. He's got a little tiny voice from the bee when Lister's playing with it, and the trip through LIster's digestive track wouldn't be much of a punishment if he wasn't aware of it. Maybe there's a difference between shutting off just the projection and shutting off the bee itself?

[sallycandance.livejournal.com]

That's a good explanation actually, that there could be a difference between turning off the projection and shutting off the bee itself. Makes sense.

[veronica-rich.livejournal.com]

Given what we used to do to OUR old television set, he's lucky Lister didn't kick the bee into submission. *G*

Cute ficlet!

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Ha! I did think about that, but it seemed a little too mean coming from Lister.

Thanks, I'm glad you liked it!

[dark8nightshade.livejournal.com]

That was adorable and very much in character ^_^

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[janamelie.livejournal.com]

This is just adorable. And so in character. :D

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[pebblerocker]

I liked that!

When Rimmer goes to lean against the table in the drive room and his hand goes through it, I think Holly hadn't got around to setting up boundaries properly - maybe only floors and walls, he hadn't made the furniture show up as impassible to holograms because there'd been no hologram on the ship anyway. I wonder if the whole ship is mapped accurately, or just the areas Rimmer uses most? It would be funny to see Rimmer go down into the cargo decks and find the floors aren't lined up with the real floors where they should be. And what about when they leave the ship?

The light bee should mean that Rimmer can't walk through walls even if he wants to (canon is iffy there) but if the walls are glitchy he could wave his arm through them or even look on the other side.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Yes, that's exactly what I was thinking. I was kind of picturing the Sims where sometimes someone will glitch through an object, or someone will end up swimming in the floor (if Rimmer's bee wasn't recognizing floors, he might end up in the floor up to his waist, or wherever the bee stops).

The rules of hologram projection are pretty iffy, so I end up using whatever seems to fit best with what I need.

Thank you for reading; I'm glad you liked it!

[pebblerocker]

Haha, I've just gone back to the Sims 2 after downloading some mods that prevent a few glitchy behaviours... no more sims suddenly finding themselves standing in the middle of a table! Which makes me think of when an alternate Rimmer's head appeared through a table to give him a shock.

You gave me the image of Rimmer falling through a floor until stopped by his light bee, but on the deck above so there are legs coming from the ceiling!

[felineranger.livejournal.com]

Hee Hee! Cute!

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Thank you!