Ficlet - Ace. Rimmer/Lister. PG

[roadstergal.livejournal.com]

I dunno quite where this came from, but it came rather abruptly as one whole story. Spoilers for Polymorph II: Emohawk. I am always grateful for concrit.

"I'm not Ace Rimmer, Davey-boy."

Comments

[kahvi.livejournal.com]

Thank you for writing exactly what went through my mind as I re-watched the end of "Emohawk" through slasher eyes!

It was as if he had owned a car for all of his life, and had just finally discovered what the wiper blades would do.
I love this metaphore.

Lister grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the sleeping quarters, betraying nervousness.
*swoons at the images of nervous Lister*

"Didn't think I had it in me, old chum?" Rimmer asked with a smile.
This is very good - emphasising that A: this isn't actually Ace, or rather, not the original Ace - it's Rimmer's Ace potential. It's part of him.

I offered to meet him in my room, covered in curry paste, after he finished sewing Cat up. He acted like he was expectin' it."
Hurrah! *gets unreasonably excited and happy*

He slowly raised his fist and bit down on it, hard.
How Rimmer is this? Wonderful.

His light-bee gave off a resounding clonk as it bounced off of the wall, dragging him reluctantly back into the room.
Excellent! I like my porn science fiction to make sense!

He hit the offending member hard, to teach it a lesson.
Oh dear...

This made me really happy, for some reason. Probably because it's good. ;)

[beetle-breath.livejournal.com]

There is so much slash potential between Ace & Lister, and when I say Ace, I mean the Ace that is a part of Rimmer. It seems like from a slasher's POV, all those cracks Rimmer makes in "Dimension Jump" about Lister/Ace is like him wanting to drop frustrated hints or something.

I really love all your fics.

[lady-draco.livejournal.com]

Ahhh, well done. An "Ace"/Lister fic - a pairing that I'm usually not impressed by but don't mind in this case because it is Rimmer inside that head.

I really liked this one =) The end made me giggle!

Good work matey =)

[jargonelle.livejournal.com]

The only concrit-like-thing I'd say is that: 'Both, he supposed, and felt a slight embarrassment that, he is sure, would be alien to his alternate self.' - "He is sure" seems like a rather weird tense change, maybe it should have been "was"? (That caught my eye the first time and I had to reread that bit several times before I could make up my mind whether anything was wrong).

But other than that:

The contrast between Arn-as-Ace Arn and normal Arn is fantastic, you've really captured the difference in the whole tone of your writing.

"I don't want to say anything about my other selves - it just seems a bit impolite - but I believe I'm a bit less arrogant than the Ace you met. Not that he didn't have good reason to be full of himself," Rimmer added hastily. "Hell of a chap." - Hee! - and Rimmer was highly annoyed to note that one part of his body was very much enjoying his mental rehash of the previous night's events. He hit the offending member hard, to teach it a lesson. - Both are genius.

this suctioned Rimmer - this designation is perhaps the best one ever.

I'm fascinated by Ace: every incarnation of him, and this is a really great piece of characterisation.