FIC: IBMK Parts One and Two of ?, PG-13
Feb. 11th, 2005 10:45 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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nataliej36
Title: I'd Bet My Kippers (IBMK)
Parts: One and Two
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Summary: A series of ficlets. Pre-slash for the moment, but will end up as slash. Just before Ace Rimmer leaves, he tells Lister what he knows.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, especially the first bit of dialogue that is lifted straight from the episode.
Series: Red Dwarf IV, Episode five, "Dimension Jump". Dialogue up to the # is from episode.
Feedback: YES PLEASE!
PART ONE
"Skipper, I’ve decided I’m not going to stay," Ace told Lister as he finished sewing up his arm. Lister folded his arms, obviously unhappy.
"Why?"
"Him and me," he replied without even removing the cigarette from between his lips. "It would never work. I can’t stand the man. To see myself so warped, bitter, weaselly. The man’s a maggot. [#]" He paused. "And he’s so smegging jealous."
"Well that’s obvious," Lister deadpanned.
"Is it really Skipper?" He broke the thread, finishing his stitches.
"Well, yeah; he wants to be what you are," Lister replied, dismissing any other explanation away immediately.
Curious, Ace asked, "You’ve never noticed?"
"Noticed what? The fact that he’s a total smeghead?" Lister laughed without conviction.
"No Skipper," Ace stubbed out his cigarette in his hand without even blinking and stood. "The fact that he’s totally hopped for you. He’s jealous because he couldn’t bear you having fun with the more successful him."
"You what?! Rimmer, in love with me?" Ace nodded in response. "Ace, you’re mad, man."
Ace shook his head, his fringe flopping against his forehead. "No I’m not, Skipper," he put a hand on Lister’s shoulder. "That man loves you, and I’d bet my kippers that underneath it all, you feel the same way." He smirked.
"Nah, man, you got it all wrong!"
Smirking even more, Ace laughed. "I’m rarely wrong… Well, I’m off," Ace pulled down his sleeves. He let out a deep breath. "Smoke me a kipper – I’ll be back for breakfast." He walked the two metres to the door; almost as a second thought, he turned back to Lister. "Don’t waste your time, Skipper. Use every second." With that, Ace Rimmer was gone.
Lister sighed, took one look in the direction of his Rimmer’s whereabouts – the command centre – and walked in the opposite direction, off to his quarters.
END PART ONE
PART TWO
(Note: The french isn't anything important.)
"J'ai mal au tête à la depuis une semaine, je peux parler avec la pharmacienne?" Rimmer stated, reading from the screen. Holly's face appeared on the screen.
"Great, Arnold, not a single mistake." She smiled, muttering that at least it was better than his esperanto. Rimmer gave her a long suffering look, and Holly took the hint. She sighed. "C'est urgent?" Holly rolled her eyes.
"Non, mais je voudrais des comprimés… ou un rendez-vous."
Holly, unnoticed by the hologram, looked over his shoulder to see Lister, finger to his lips to urge silence, hovering in the corner. Rimmer was unaware, so Holly continued her conversation. "Êtes-vous allergique à la penicilline?"
Rimmer's face screwed up in thought, though Holly couldn't work out why, then he replied with a simple 'non'.
"Ah, voici de comprimés. Il faut en prendre un matin et soir avec l'eau, et tu peux voir la pharmacienne demain."
"Merci beaucoup," Lister piped up before Rimmer could put a word in edge ways. The hologram swivelled around.
"Lister! I didn't know you spoke French!" He was obviously gob-smacked. Lister walked over to the bunk they shared and jumped up to the top, pulling out a magasine.
"You don't know many things about me, Rimmer," he replied, beginning to look through a particularly well-read article.
Intrigued, Rimmer took a seat on the desk-chair and prompted Lister to give him a few examples. Lister continued. "Like my love of swing music. And that I also have all of Frank Sinatra's recordings." He watched Rimmer amusedly, who's eyes were wide in shock.
"You like swing?!" he cried. "I thought you're musical tastes extended as far as Rastabilly Skank and no further."
Lister smiled triumphantly. "You see. And I bet you didn't know that I have a qualification froma top university." He jumped down from the bunk and walked out to the door, calling back over his shoulder, "In history."
Rimmer stared at the floor. 'Oh God,' he thought. 'Oh smegging hell.' He spent the next hour trying to think of other things he didn't know about Lister, not realising he was being watched by the man.
END PART TWO
nataliej36Title: I'd Bet My Kippers (IBMK)
Parts: One and Two
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Summary: A series of ficlets. Pre-slash for the moment, but will end up as slash. Just before Ace Rimmer leaves, he tells Lister what he knows.
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, especially the first bit of dialogue that is lifted straight from the episode.
Series: Red Dwarf IV, Episode five, "Dimension Jump". Dialogue up to the # is from episode.
Feedback: YES PLEASE!
PART ONE
"Skipper, I’ve decided I’m not going to stay," Ace told Lister as he finished sewing up his arm. Lister folded his arms, obviously unhappy.
"Why?"
"Him and me," he replied without even removing the cigarette from between his lips. "It would never work. I can’t stand the man. To see myself so warped, bitter, weaselly. The man’s a maggot. [#]" He paused. "And he’s so smegging jealous."
"Well that’s obvious," Lister deadpanned.
"Is it really Skipper?" He broke the thread, finishing his stitches.
"Well, yeah; he wants to be what you are," Lister replied, dismissing any other explanation away immediately.
Curious, Ace asked, "You’ve never noticed?"
"Noticed what? The fact that he’s a total smeghead?" Lister laughed without conviction.
"No Skipper," Ace stubbed out his cigarette in his hand without even blinking and stood. "The fact that he’s totally hopped for you. He’s jealous because he couldn’t bear you having fun with the more successful him."
"You what?! Rimmer, in love with me?" Ace nodded in response. "Ace, you’re mad, man."
Ace shook his head, his fringe flopping against his forehead. "No I’m not, Skipper," he put a hand on Lister’s shoulder. "That man loves you, and I’d bet my kippers that underneath it all, you feel the same way." He smirked.
"Nah, man, you got it all wrong!"
Smirking even more, Ace laughed. "I’m rarely wrong… Well, I’m off," Ace pulled down his sleeves. He let out a deep breath. "Smoke me a kipper – I’ll be back for breakfast." He walked the two metres to the door; almost as a second thought, he turned back to Lister. "Don’t waste your time, Skipper. Use every second." With that, Ace Rimmer was gone.
Lister sighed, took one look in the direction of his Rimmer’s whereabouts – the command centre – and walked in the opposite direction, off to his quarters.
END PART ONE
PART TWO
(Note: The french isn't anything important.)
"J'ai mal au tête à la depuis une semaine, je peux parler avec la pharmacienne?" Rimmer stated, reading from the screen. Holly's face appeared on the screen.
"Great, Arnold, not a single mistake." She smiled, muttering that at least it was better than his esperanto. Rimmer gave her a long suffering look, and Holly took the hint. She sighed. "C'est urgent?" Holly rolled her eyes.
"Non, mais je voudrais des comprimés… ou un rendez-vous."
Holly, unnoticed by the hologram, looked over his shoulder to see Lister, finger to his lips to urge silence, hovering in the corner. Rimmer was unaware, so Holly continued her conversation. "Êtes-vous allergique à la penicilline?"
Rimmer's face screwed up in thought, though Holly couldn't work out why, then he replied with a simple 'non'.
"Ah, voici de comprimés. Il faut en prendre un matin et soir avec l'eau, et tu peux voir la pharmacienne demain."
"Merci beaucoup," Lister piped up before Rimmer could put a word in edge ways. The hologram swivelled around.
"Lister! I didn't know you spoke French!" He was obviously gob-smacked. Lister walked over to the bunk they shared and jumped up to the top, pulling out a magasine.
"You don't know many things about me, Rimmer," he replied, beginning to look through a particularly well-read article.
Intrigued, Rimmer took a seat on the desk-chair and prompted Lister to give him a few examples. Lister continued. "Like my love of swing music. And that I also have all of Frank Sinatra's recordings." He watched Rimmer amusedly, who's eyes were wide in shock.
"You like swing?!" he cried. "I thought you're musical tastes extended as far as Rastabilly Skank and no further."
Lister smiled triumphantly. "You see. And I bet you didn't know that I have a qualification froma top university." He jumped down from the bunk and walked out to the door, calling back over his shoulder, "In history."
Rimmer stared at the floor. 'Oh God,' he thought. 'Oh smegging hell.' He spent the next hour trying to think of other things he didn't know about Lister, not realising he was being watched by the man.
END PART TWO
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