reddwarfslash | Double Trouble

Double Trouble - Part 11

Lister watched anxiously as Rimmer’s double carried a dusty laptop to the table and started it up. “You’re probably wondering where we’re going,” he said airily, glancing over at Lister, “To be honest I don’t really know yet. It doesn’t really matter so long as it’s somewhere...private. I’ve set the navi-comp to take us to the nearest deserted S3 planet with an appropriate atmosphere. Apparently there’s one that fits the bill nicely just a few hours flight away, so we’ll be starting our new life together very soon.” He left the computer to finish loading up and came back to Lister.

“We’re going to be very happy together, you and I,” he told him, “But there’s a few little details that we have to sort out first. To start with, you have to understand how much you’ve hurt me over the years. It’s time for you to admit that your behaviour has been cruel and selfish and for you to take responsibility for what you’ve done. It’s only fair.” He pulled the gag out of Lister’s mouth, “Now are you prepared to be grown-up about this?” he asked him, like a teacher talking to a naughty student. “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Lister said hoarsely, “Listen, man, I don’t know what the situation was in your universe. Maybe you’re right and your Lister was a total bastard, but that’s nothing to do with me! I swear I’ve never deliberately done anything to hurt you! Until this moment I never knew you felt this way...”

The double grabbed his throat and squeezed hard. “Why is it,” he asked through gritted teeth, “That even now, with nobody to save face in front of, you still have to lie? Don’t you understand how pointless this all is? It’s too late to plead ignorance, it’s too late to take back everything you’ve done. All I’m asking for, Lister, is an apology. Now can you do that for me? Hmmm?” Lister nodded as best he could with a hand locked around his throat. “Okay, then let’s hear it.”

“I’m sorry,” Lister whispered faintly through the pressure on his windpipe, “I’m really sorry...”

“Good,” Rimmer said smugly and released him. Lister gasped for air, trembling. “That’s a start at least. Now that you’ve admitted what you’ve done, it’s time to accept your punishment.” Lister looked up at him, eyes wide. “What?”

“If we’re going to move on and be happy together you have to understand the pain you’ve put me through. Once you’ve felt that pain and accepted that you’ve brought it on yourself, then I can forgive you and we can start afresh. It will be good for us. You’ll thank me in the end, you’ll see.” He gently patted the back of Lister’s neck then got up and went to one of the crates he’d been through earlier. He returned with a sharp pair of wire-cutters in one hand. Lister shrank bank, his heart pounding with horror. “What are you doing?”

The double bent over him and used the wire-cutters to sever the ropes securing his wrists. The awful pain in his arm and shoulder muscles immediately eased, and he sighed in relief, holding his hands out in front of him, gingerly flexing his fingers. Already the cold, buzzing numbness of pins and needles was setting in but he didn’t have time to regain any sensation in his hands – the double was already tying them again in front of him. Taking a tight grip on Lister’s arm, he hauled him up to his feet and threw the long length of rope still hanging from his wrists over the hook above them and pulled tight, yanking his wrists high over his head. Lister yelped despite himself. If he stood on his toes this was just about bearable, but he wasn’t tall enough for this to be anywhere near comfortable; and with his ankles still tied together keeping his balance was almost impossible. “Don’t complain,” Rimmer said impatiently, “I could have tied that rope around your neck.” Lister quickly swallowed back another whimper.

Across the room, the laptop beeped a jolly little tune to indicate that the program had finished loading. The double went over to investigate. “Marvellous,” he beamed, “This all seems to be working perfectly. Everything should be ready in time for planet fall. And then you and me, Listy,” he wandered back and cupped Lister’s face in his hands, “Will be together forever.”

“You know,” Lister said tremulously, “Nothing lasts forever. One day I’m going to die and then you’ll be all alone. Surely you don’t want that.”

“You really do have the intelligence of road kill, don’t you?” Rimmer said disdainfully. “Never mind ‘one day’. You’re going to be dying very shortly indeed. What do you think all this stuff is for?” He gestured to the box of equipment he’d brought aboard from the Branson. “There’s a light-bee waiting for you in that box. I’ve taken a personality download facility and a copy of that lovely swish Light-Suite Software. It was all there for the taking. That’s when I came up with the plan. You see,” he possessively stroked Lister’s neck, “All I have to do is download your personality, then I can use the Light-Suite program to do a little memory modification. It’s very easy, you know.” He thought about this and laughed, “What am I saying? Of course you know. You’ve done it yourself, haven’t you?” Lister shifted uncomfortably. “Once I’ve got your mind how I want it, there’s really only one thing left to do.” He picked up the gun and pressed it gently to Lister’s head. Lister winced and closed his eyes.

“BANG!” Rimmer shouted gleefully, “One shot. Straight to the head. You’ll never feel a thing. And when you wake up there’ll be no memory of any unpleasant kidnapping, no memory of finding any escape pod. Just good old Arnie waiting to tell you all about how he managed to save your personality disk after the terrible accident the killed you and your crew-mates. And I’ll have you all to myself forever and ever. Now,” he picked up the wire-cutters again, “Where were we?”

“Any sign?” Rimmer asked desperately.

“Not yet, Sir.”

“Don’t worry, buddy,” Cat said grimly, “They can’t have got far.”

“Yes, they could,” Rimmer rubbed at his H, agitated. “They could have been gone for hours. Anything could have happened. God, why didn’t I see this coming? How can I have been so blind?”

“Because you’re a moron?” Cat retorted sourly.

“Don’t blame yourself, Sir,” Kryten told him soothingly, “You thought of your duplicate as being just like you and so naturally you didn’t want to admit to yourself that there might be something wrong with him. It’s a natural human reaction.”

“But if anything’s happened to Lister it’ll be all my fault,” Rimmer put his head in his hands. “Now, Mister Rimmer, you don’t know that anything has happened. Everything could be fine!” Kryten tried to reassure him but his voice sounded about as sincere as an estate-agent’s. “There was blood, you stupid walking vacuum-cleaner! There was blood on the floor! How can that be a good sign?”

“I agree, Sir, that blood is not a good sign, but it doesn’t mean we should panic. If there was a struggle, which there probably was, it could be from something as innocuous as a nose bleed. We cannot start thinking the worst.”

“I’ll tell you something,” Cat growled, “I don’t care if it was just a nose-bleed. Nobody messes with our home-boy and lives to tell the tale. Am I right?”

“Indeed, Sir.”

“Am I right?” Cat turned to Rimmer, who shook his head miserably.

“I don’t give a damn what we do about that traitorous bastard. I just want Lister back safe and sound.”

Lister winced as the icy metal of the wire-cutters slid up the back of his spine, slitting his shirt open. Rimmer’s double tore away the remnants and dropped them to the floor. He shivered, goosebumps rising as the cool air of the ship met his bare skin. “I don’t want you to get any filthy ideas that I’m doing this for my own titillation,” the double told him sternly, “It’s important that you should be naked for your punishment. Symbolically important. I’m not a pervert, you know.” Lister thought of fishnets and a holo-whip then decided that now was not the best time to voice his opinion on that matter. The wire-cutters started to slice through the back of his jeans and boxers and he began to feel really afraid as the situation he was in started to hit home. He was tied up, he was helpless and he couldn’t prevent anything that this man might decide to do to him. “Please don’t do this,” he whispered as the double ripped the torn fabric open. “Sorry, Listy,” he replied matter-of-factly, “But we both know this has to be done.” He cut the remains of the ruined garments off Lister’s body, leaving him in just his boots.

Lister suppressed a shudder as he felt the warm static of hologrammatic breath on the back of his neck. “Just remember,” the double whispered, “I’m only doing this because I love you. And once we’re all alone together in our new home you’ll learn to love me too, because you won’t have any other choice. There’ll be nobody else to come between us anymore. But like I said, first we have to work out our issues.” He carried Lister’s shredded clothes over to the table and shook them about a little until something fell with a clatter to the tabletop. “Ah, here we go. This is as good a way as any to start, I suppose.” He scooped up the lighter and gave it an experimental flick. Lister recoiled, “You can’t be serious!”

“Well,” Rimmer shrugged, “We’ll just see how it goes, shall we?” He walked back over. “No!” Lister started to struggle desperately, “You can’t!”

“Yes, I can,” he said calmly, “And, as you’ve already agreed, it’s really no more than you deserve.”

“Please! Please don’t do this!”

“It’s okay, Listy. This part will all be over very soon,” the double said soothingly, tightly re-tying his gag, stifling his protests, “And when it is, you won’t remember a thing.”

He flicked on the lighter and very soon the tiny room was filled with the sound of muffled screaming.