reddwarfslash | R/L fic: Gotta Get High (part 1/2) (Reply)

Hello, I'm a new girl on the block (although not new to the joys of the Red Dwarf slash :P) so I decided to start with... a fic!

I had written this in Februrary and then... eh... I kinda forgot about this. ^_^; I've found it few minutes ago, while making some cleaning on my HD, so, since lately I've also discovered the joys of the LJ communities, I've decided that it's a sign and that I should join here and post it. Yes, in my world this sort of reasoning makes sense.

Title: Gotta Get High

Rating: NC-17

Part: 1/2

Pairing: Lister/Rimmer

Summary: All Lister wanted to do, was to keep warm…

Disclaimers: Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuure, they belong to me... I'm also married to Sam Rockwell and have a zergling named Tom. NOT!

Lister dug himself deeper into the covers, as another shiver run through his body. This was getting to be beyond ridiculous, they were on a ship that could travel in space for hundreds of years without the need to refuel, a ship that could blast small asteroids into oblivion and chase meteorites and yet, he was freezing to death. He couldn’t possibly curl into a tighter ball and the thin sheets were no comfort. Of course, designers couldn’t have foreseen that one day the entire heat system on Starbug would simply refuse to cooperate and shut itself down completely, leaving the dumbfolded crew turning slowly into a bunch of popsicles.
They had to land on the nearest planet, Kryten kindly agreeing that he would be the one to fix the system, while the others could have some rest. The problem was, that the weather outside, while still better than the frozen hell of the space, turned out to be no great relief. It was very very cold and very very dark (the lights had passed away soon after the heat, Cat considered it a plot against his perfect hairdo) and Lister was starting to get very very peeved.
He crawled from his bunk, drew the sheets around himself and started to pace around the room nervously, hoping that this could warm him up. He knew he would get no sleep as long as Kryten didn’t fix the heat which could meant long hours of waiting.
If Lister knew any of the Murphy’s Laws, he would know that you never run out of things that can go wrong. After thirty seconds of pointless pacing, one of his feet entangled itself in the sheet and before he could say ‘smeg’ he landed with a loud thump on the floor, face down, his left hand bending dangerously under his bodyweight. He hissed, both in pain and irritation and tried to stood up, only to discover that now both of his feet were now twisted in the sheets. Lister sat down slowly, careful holding his strained hand close to his chest and cursed loudly. Things couldn’t possibly go any worse.
“What are you doing you smeghead? You woke me up.”
Perhaps they could.
Lister turned his head in the direction from which, he believed, Rimmer’s voice was coming “I fall down and I think I sprained my wrist.”
The hologram chuckled unpleasantly “You fell from your bed? You really are a smeghead, Lister.”
“I didn’t fell from my bed, you moron, I tripped” he decided to go for the mild lie than tell the whole truth, after all ‘I’ve entangled in my own bloody sheets’ didn’t sound much better than ‘I fell from the bed’ “in case you haven’t noticed we have a blackout here.”
Lister heard that Rimmer shifted on his bed and frowned. He still couldn’t quite wrap his mind around the fact that things, *real* things could interact with the hologram. It was a weird feeling, like seeing your disabled uncle stand up from his wheelchair and walk.
“Hey, Listy, you still alive?” For once it was a genuine concern that colored Rimmer’s voice. Since he had regained his ability to touch the hologram became slightly less offensive and a little more helpful. Those changes were minimal but nonetheless Lister noticed them, after all if you lived with a neurotic, cowardly, angsting sod for such a long time, the slightest positive modification was as big as supernova.
Lister tried to stand up again and this time he succeeded. “Yeah, still here, sorry to disappoint you.” He searched blindly for his bunk, breathing a sigh of relief when his hand made a contact with its surface. He sat down at the edge of it and started to massage his wrist, the pain in it making him forget the cold at least for a moment.
“What were you doing up anyway? You said its yourself, we have a blackout.”
“Yeah, man but it’s also freezing, I thought I could warm myself up. I’m telling you, man, one more hour and you’d have to use warm water to unstuck me from the bed.”
“Listy, we usually have to use warm water to unstuck you from that pigsty you call your bed.”
“Yeah, whatever, still, it’s *freezing*” he stressed. “Can’t you feel it? I thought that now you can feel like a living human.” The last sentence was more a question than a statement. It suddenly occurred to Lister that in fact he didn’t know what Rimmer could and couldn’t feel. He had never discussed this before; firstly, the whole Legion-incident had happened so quickly and after that there never seemed to be either occasion or good reason. He was met with a long silence and it suddenly occurred to Lister that perhaps Rimmer didn’t want to discuss his new body any further. No matter how ingenious Legion had been, he was also insane, nearly imprisoned them for life, the hologram had every right to feel slightly uncomfortable with it. Lister was about to open his mouth and apologize for the nosiness when Rimmer spoke up finally.
“It’s not that I don’t *feel* that it’s cold. It’s just… it doesn’t bother me.”
The pain in Lister’s wrist subsided, making him sensitive to the temperature again. He crossed his legs and started to massage his chilled toes. “What do you mean ‘it doesn’t bother you’, it can’t be more than five degrees Celsius. I wouldn’t be surprised if I caught pneumonia or something.”
Rimmer sighed “It’s hard to explain” he begun slowly “I can feel it’s cold, my brain or lightbee, whatever, registers it but it’s not that I could freeze so it’s not unpleasant. It’s just is. Besides, when my lightbee projects me it also projects my body temperature.”
“So no cold feet for you, you lucky bastards? You have all the benefits of being a human without the side effects.”
“That’s right m’laddo” Rimmer’s mood swung from thoughtful to cheerful in just a matter of a second, having Lister more miserable than he was had always had that effect on him “Now stop whining and let me get some sleep.”
Lister considered his options. He could spend the next God-knows-how-long trying to keep warm, he could try to go to sleep or try to find something warm to cover himself with but that, considering that he nearly killed himself while pacing around the room, might have been the worst idea ever. No, he quickly demised these plans as another thought struck him. If that smeghead Rimmer really believed he could get away with being warm, he was about to find out he was wrong. Lister grabbed the cover and slowly sunk to his knees, then started to creep blindly around the room, until his hand found what he was searching for- Rimmer’s bunk. Propping himself up he threw his cover atop of Rimmer’s and, before the hologram could react, slide underneath them with a contented sigh.
When Lister’s skin made contact with Rimmer, the hologram jumped up so high, he nearly bumped his head “What the smeg are you doing?!” he screamed “Are you insane”
“No, I’m not insane, you goit” said Lister matter-of-factly, at the same time effectively pushing Rimmer at one side, until the hologram was nearly squashed at the wall. “I’m just freezing and you happen to be the closest source of heat on that bloody ship, so shut up and enjoy the ride. Goodnight.”
Rimmer didn’t budge an inch and, despite the ubiquitous darkness, Lister knew he was being stared at. He sighed, frustrated “What’s your problem this time, Rimmer? You can’t tell me you’ve never shared your bed with a bloke. *You* were the one that went to the boarding school.” It was meant to be a joke but, to Lister’s utter astonishment Rimmer seamed to tense ever further. He tried to move away but, considering that he was as far as it got, he didn’t succeed.
Lister let go an annoyed groan “What are you doing? Just lie down and let me sleep.” To prove his point he shifted again, until his back were pressed firmly to Rimmer’s chest and closed his eyes, pleased. He had to admit that Rimmer didn’t lie, he really was warm.
Rimmer made a bizarre sound, something between a moan and a whimper, and cleared his throat “I’m telling you Lister” he said in an odd, deep tone, one Lister was sure he had never heard before. “Get out, before you might regret it.”
That got Lister curious. He knew that Rimmer wasn’t that sort of guy that was comfortable with any signs of physical affection and it was probably killing him that his personal space had been violated in such crude manner but still, it was weird. Why couldn’t he just settle down or turn around if this position had been to intimate for him, Lister had no idea. He was about to open his mouth and suggest it to Rimmer, when his ass made a brief contact with Rimmer’s crotch. Now he knew exactly why Rimmer was so desperate to get rid of him.
For a moment he wanted to flee, grab his covers, run from the room and never *ever* speak about this again, when it dawn on his that the hologram had to be embarrassed like never in his entire life (and death). He chuckled, somewhat amused and grinned evilly “Tell me, Rimmer, is that a pair of socks or are you just happy to see me?”