Maybe (R/L)

Mar. 3rd, 2006 03:47 pm
[identity profile] ellieet.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] reddwarfslash
A/N: Something for the R/L fans, not least of all Kirke Novak and Kahvi.

Title: Maybe
Summary: Maybe they could save each other. Mild RxL slash.
Rating: PG
Author: Ellie ET
Spoilers: Mild for Terrorform, quite big for Rimmerworld.

Written partly because I do like RxL and have seen the hints, and partly because Kirke Novak and I agree that Rimmerworld was overstepping the boundaries of Rimmer!angst just a tad. So here is a page and a quarter long drabble based on that concept.

Maybe

The first time Lister saw Rimmer after they rescued him from Rimmerworld, he was sitting at the table in Starbug’s parlour, moaning and warning them that they shouldn’t have touched anything in the six-hundred years or alternatively, few hours that he had been away.

The second time Lister saw Rimmer the hologram was gloating over his escape, saying that he knew they were coming for him and he wasn’t scared really, as the worry-balls suggested. He merely needed something to do, after all, those clones, himself, never gave a sucker an even break, did they? He could live with that.

The third time Lister saw Rimmer, the hologram had a tight lip and was barely speaking to anyone, much to Kryten and Cat’s relief. It took constant reminders to get him into the cockpit for changeover duty, and soon, the hologram lost his temper and shouted at Cat when he was told that some sort of hideous space-bug could get into his system without his knowledge if he kept staring into the distance like that. Lister took it onto himself to sort things out, and after spending two whole hours on cockpit duty trying to soothe Cat’s hurt feelings, he left quickly when Kryten came to relieve them and headed up to the quarters.

Rimmer sat on Lister’s bunk alone, the first clue that something was wrong: Rimmer had once upon a time been heard to say that he would sit on Lister’s bunk only once he got a brand new one which he would never use, thus ensuring the bunk’s maintained cleanliness. However, on this occasion, Lister, his questions regarding the hologram’s behaviour now practically confirmed, sat next to him on the bunk.

“Look at me.” It was a request, not an order. When the hologram did, there was something unreadable in those eyes. Not quite sadness, not quite fear… something else entirely.

“I dunno, Listy.” Rimmer’s voice was a slightly wavering, quiet hush. “I just want to go back and fix it so it never happened.”

Lister shrugged. “You had no way of knowing it was gonna happen.”

The hologram’s shoulders sagged and he looked at the floor. Lister down too, neither understanding why there were none of the necessary hostilities between them.

“I thought you’d never come for me,” Rimmer said finally. Lister glanced up, startled at the tone of the hologram’s voice. “I thought I’d have to stay down there. Forever.” He looked at the human again and there was a somewhat bitter, sad smile on his features. Lister put his head to the side and smiled ruefully back, adding, “Well, guess what? We did show up.”

Rimmer nodded. “Yeah. I mean, I’d given up a long time ago, I must admit.”

Lister couldn’t help smirking. “So, you’ve been playin’ around these last couple of days, ever since you got back. You were scared, weren’t ya?” He watched as Rimmer nodded again, suddenly realising the plight and turmoil inside his bunkmate’s head. Staying locked up in a dungeon for five-hundred plus years… the thought alone was enough to make Lister shudder. And yet, here was someone he knew who’d actually been through it. Maybe someone who wasn’t quite a friend… but somehow that just made it so much worse.

Glancing at the clock, he added, “Listen, if you want to be alone, I can go.” When the hologram seemed to fail to acknowledge this he added, tentatively, “Or you could have a hug. They’re free.”

He thought he saw a smile quirk up the corners of Rimmer’s mouth, but deciding that the time wasn’t right to start questioning the hologram’s mood in-depth, he simply held his arms out and Rimmer seemed to sink into them, as though starved for some kind of affection – which, Lister admitted to himself, he probably was. He sighed, looking down at the man in his arms, the man who was now starting to respond and return the hug, hard light hands creeping around Lister’s waist almost tentatively and squeezing him back.

It’s one thing to be stripped and almost tortured, Lister thought somewhat angrily. It’s another to simply leave someone in the dark.

And somehow, some way, knowing that the hologram had technically brought it on himself both times made Dave Lister want to comfort, hold and care for Arnold Judas Rimmer all the more, while he was still had a chance to live a hard-light death in space, where they were now probably most likely to be for the rest of their lives.

Maybe then, the hologram wouldn’t bring any more pain, suffering and misery on his own head... And maybe he could put a little more joy and a more humane existence into the human’s own.

Maybe, just maybe, they could save each other.

Fin.
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