Fic: Drunk (1/1)

[kitt.livejournal.com]

Title: Drunk
Author: Mistoffelees
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Rating: PG
Summary: Sometimes drunken confusion can be fun... and sometimes, it can make you forget that the last year or two happened.
Authors Note: Set after series 8, everything's back to normal... if such a term even exists on this ship. Just a short little 3am ficlet 'cause I can't sleep. Posted this to the list, but it was short, so I thought I'd stick it up here too =)



Lister was drunk.

No, not just drunk. Just drunk was the understatement of the ice age. It was such a vast understatement that it dwarfed the Dwarf. It was the Grand Canyon of understatements...

Lister tried to remember where this particular train of thought had began, but he could only think about how pretty the Grand Canyon must be this time of year. Whatever time of year this was...

He was very, VERY drunk.

Though he didn't remember why. Which was probably the reason for getting drunk anyway. The only three reasons that ever existed for getting drunk were to have a good time with some friends, to have a good time with a date, or to forget something. He wasn't exactly feeling happy, so he wasn't having a good time with friends. He was definitely alone, so he wasn't getting laid. He must have wanted to forget something.

Lister thumped the door to his quarters when it didn't open fast enough, and stumbled through when it opened faster then it should have. Could it do both? Well, he was drunk, so sure it could. Now what had he been thinking? Getting laid? Yeah, that was it. He staggered into his shared quarters and found his roommate already asleep on the lower bunk. Rimmer. He smiled and walked somewhat lopsidedly over to the bunk, flopping down next to Rimmer as softly as he could while being drunk.

Rimmer awoke with a slight yelp as Lister half slammed into him.

"Sorry, didn't mean to wake you." Lister slurred.

"Lister? What..." Rimmer was cut off mid-sentence as Lister began to snuggle into his side.

"Shh, go back to sleep Rimmer, everything's okay."

"But Lister..."

"Don't worry, Kryten knows now remember? I told him I'd be very upset if anything were to happen to you, and I wouldn't let him do my laundry again. So you don't have to worry about him coming in here and ripping your balls off or something if he finds us." It would have sounded like a brief moment of lucidity if not for two facts. One, Lister slurred most of the words quite drunkenly. Two, and this was the big one, Lister was currently cuddling him.

"Oh." Rimmer paused for a moment. "Wait, that's a possibility?!" but the only response he got from Lister was a soft snore as he curled up closer to Rimmer.

Rimmer was just debating whether he should get out of the bunk, or just push Lister out of the bunk, when the choice was taken from him. Lister's arm reached out and wrapped around him so tightly that he figured either choice would land them both on the floor. Rimmer was confused. Rimmer was perplexed. Rimmer was most definitely NOT drunk, and therefore not equipped to deal with Dave Lister, humanities answer to the curse of Indian food, holding onto him like a favorite teddy bear. On the other hand, Rimmer was comfortable, Rimmer was tired, and it was HIS bunk after all so why should he bother to be bothered. He decided to pretend that line of reasoning made sense for the moment, and just go back to sleep. Lister would have a lot to answer for in the morning, but hopefully the hangover alone would be punishment enough. Therefore, anything Rimmer said or did to him would be like an added bonus.

Feeling slightly more content, Rimmer snuggled back into the pillows and went back to sleep.