[ficlet] Acting By Flashlight

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

Title: Acting By Flashlight
Character: Cat, Lister/Rimmer.
Rating: G
Summary: Middle-of-the-night-teach-Cat-to-read, otherwise known as acting-by-flashlight.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Note: Written for beetle_breath, set it I/II ish. No, I have not a clue what they're quoting. Assume it's something like the Godfather.

---

“I eet babies for breakfast, hewman.” Cat tried. He wasn’t very good at the impression, but with the flashlight making his teeth glint, it was spooky. Lister almost jumped away from the sight, but Rimmer's hiss of discontent kept him where he was.

“Ah, course you do, Cat. Try the next line.” Lister read it slowly, aloud. “’So don’t mess wit me.’”

“Sodon’t mess wit me, Listah.” Cat grinned, getting the hang of it. “Or ah’ll infest yer bed with equines.”

“That’s perfect!” Lister looked at the book. “So I go, ‘Right-right, Mister Brand. You’ll get your money. Just-just give me one more day!’”

Rimmer snorted. “That’s the worst squealer I’ve ever heard, Lister.”

“Yeah, yeah. You try, Rimmer.” There he went again, dragging Rimmer into their activities. It was almost like he was trying to befriend him, even through their hatred.

Rimmer glared, but leaned in and looked at the lines. “Why someone would ever keep a copy of this, I’ll never know..Ahem. ‘You ain’t got one day, clod. We wants the money now.’” It was the worst rendition of the big enforcer Lister had ever heard, as Rimmer’s nasally tone made it sound like a small knife-boy was threatening his character.

Cat frowned. “You call that acting? More like monotone, dead boy.”

“It was infinitely better than anything you’ll ever do, mouse-breath.”

“Enough! Cat, it’s your turn again.”

Lister handed the book back, and middle-of-the-night-teach-Cat-to-read went on.

---

Comments

[eviltigerlily.livejournal.com]

Aww, that's sweet. And funny. Funny is important.

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

Funny is very important. ;) Thanks!

[typhonblue.livejournal.com]

Adorable. I laughed out loud at the line "Or ah'll infest your bed with equines."

Is this just a one-shot?

BTW, zekkass, if you're still interested in betaing my fic, I'm up to chapter 3 now. But I need an e-mail addy to send it to.

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

Would you like it be a one-shot? I wasn't planning on anything more, but if you want a sequel or sommat I can accomate that.

I'm still interested. My email: cena@ringwald.org

[roadstergal.livejournal.com]

That's very cute! Love the mental image of Rimmer reading threatening stuff precisely and nasally.

(Little crit - if it's pre-Kryten post-death, Rimmer couldn't have taken the book.)

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

(Aie. Set it Post-Legion, and assume Kryten's off doing laundry.)

[roadstergal.livejournal.com]

Hm - I think the tone fits I/II better than nasty too-close VI. Maybe just have Rimmer lean over Lister's shoulder to remember the lines? Get them wrong and have to be corrected? ;)

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

Fixed! I'm not going to fiddle with it too much, but thanks for the feedback anyway. ;)

[kahvi.livejournal.com]

You know, I could easily see something like this happening around the same time Lister started knitting. They're desperate for something to do, Lister still has some of the enthusiasm he lost more and more as the series progressed. My poor boy...

It was almost like he was trying to befriend him, but not really trying at all.
Something about that sentence doesn't quite work for me. The latter half of the sentence seems to refute the former. Either he is trying or he isn't, or perhaps he is trying, but does not care all that much about whether he succeeds or not. I found that to be a little unclear. (I hope you don't mind me posting concrit here - please delete it if I'm speaking out of turn.)

For some reason, I find Cat calling Rimmer "dead boy" very funny indeed. Good one. ;)

[zekkass.livejournal.com]

Red Dwarf = angst fest, despite the humour.

No, I don't mind the concrit. Hm. I'll go mess with the sentence a bit, 'k? This was posted latelatelate at night, so it was probably me sleep-writing. ;)

Thanks!