A Thin Line (L/R NC-17)

[lordvalerymimes.livejournal.com]

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3244463

This fic went completely out of control. I started it off with the notion that I just wanted Lister and Rimmer to have a first sexual encounter that was a bit angry and emotionally charged, but as I got into it, the whole smegged up emotional back-story for this particular time period just took over. I realized there was no way to end it happily, without it being completely dishonest and pandery feeling.

You've got Lister with his issues of abandonment that have been exacerbated by Rimmer leaving him. On top of that, Lister's feelings about Rimmer have never been voiced properly so he's still got all this ambiguity about how he really feels. Then on top of THAT, he's with this other version of Rimmer, and it's hard for him to separate all the emotions he's built up about the other Rimmer from this one.

Then you've got Rimmer, who's his own lovely cocktail of smegged up emotions all on his own. He's feeling jealous of this OTHER Rimmer that Lister probably keeps talking about, he's as love-starved as he always has been, plus he's dealing with this new version of Lister who has these probably poorly veiled feelings towards him.

It's all a recipe for disaster!

I'm really not happy with it, I think the writing's really crap in some spots, but I just couldn't bring myself to spend anymore time on it. I'd meant it to just be a bit of a wank, and having it derail into this angsty mess really took some of the fun out of it for me. My next WIP is ridiculous and fluffy, thank goodness!