A Thin Line (L/R NC-17)

[lordvalerymimes.livejournal.com]

http://archiveofourown.org/works/3244463

This fic went completely out of control. I started it off with the notion that I just wanted Lister and Rimmer to have a first sexual encounter that was a bit angry and emotionally charged, but as I got into it, the whole smegged up emotional back-story for this particular time period just took over. I realized there was no way to end it happily, without it being completely dishonest and pandery feeling.

You've got Lister with his issues of abandonment that have been exacerbated by Rimmer leaving him. On top of that, Lister's feelings about Rimmer have never been voiced properly so he's still got all this ambiguity about how he really feels. Then on top of THAT, he's with this other version of Rimmer, and it's hard for him to separate all the emotions he's built up about the other Rimmer from this one.

Then you've got Rimmer, who's his own lovely cocktail of smegged up emotions all on his own. He's feeling jealous of this OTHER Rimmer that Lister probably keeps talking about, he's as love-starved as he always has been, plus he's dealing with this new version of Lister who has these probably poorly veiled feelings towards him.

It's all a recipe for disaster!

I'm really not happy with it, I think the writing's really crap in some spots, but I just couldn't bring myself to spend anymore time on it. I'd meant it to just be a bit of a wank, and having it derail into this angsty mess really took some of the fun out of it for me. My next WIP is ridiculous and fluffy, thank goodness!

Comments

[janamelie.livejournal.com]

I think you're being too hard on yourself here. You're much better at really explicit porn than I am and shower sex is always a winner. ;)

It completely makes sense that in this situation things wouldn't work out simply. I once tried to answer a Kink Meme prompt and only got as far as a few paragraphs before I realised that the setting I'd chosen (for a perfectly good reason) was almost automatically going to lead to angst when what I wanted was fun and games. Very frustrating, but I had to abandon it.

[lordvalerymimes.livejournal.com]

I used to be a very good writer, but I'm woefully out of practice these days because it's been YEARS since I wrote with any regularity. Because of that, I do tend to be a bit hard on myself. Plus, almost everyone who writes for Lister/Rimmer is fantastically good, so I feel I have a lot to live up to. :)

When I get an idea for a fic, I see it playing in my head like an episode, but I also feel what the characters are feeling. I struggle sometimes with taking what I see and feel and translating it into text that accurately expresses everything. I'm not the sort of writer who sits down at the keyboard, and paragraphs of text pour from my fingers. Sometimes it can take me an hour just to get a paragraph written. I probably need to do writing exercises where I just write and don't think and agonize over it so much to try and loosen me up a bit. I have contemplated joining a writing group, but that would probably be quite funny, "Yes, I only really write about these two blokes from a tv show that I like, having mad passionate sex with one another. How about you?" ;)

I hope that the more I write, the more easy and comfortable it will become. :)

I've never set out to write angst, but when the ideas have come to me, I've felt the need to explore them fully. It's like my brain is a garden with all these little plants springing up here and there. Some of them start out as lovely little sprouts and I go to tend them, the next thing I know they've turned into giant venus fly traps. Even though they've turned out a bit ugly and snappy, I still love them and want to see them finished. :)

[janamelie.livejournal.com]

Your dilemma about joining a writers' group is my problem too - I've considered it but the thought of explaining what I write is not appealing. :p

I rarely write angst and if I do I usually have to resolve it happily, but my latest fic really worked better left as it is. I can give them a happy ending in another fic. :)

[pebblerocker]

I enjoyed that! At least, I enjoyed it except for the end... but I think you were right not to slap on a happy ending.

[lordvalerymimes.livejournal.com]

Thank you! And thank you for reassuring me that I made the right choice. I was trying to drag the story out to a happier conclusion at one point, but I think I made the right call for ending it when I did.

[pebblerocker]

... and also, I wanted to say: intercrural!! hott!! It's something fun I don't get to read about often.

[lordvalerymimes.livejournal.com]

Thank you for giving me the word for that! I had known that there was a specific word for it, but had completely forgotten about it. I also had forgotten that the Romans were so into it. :)

[missflibble.livejournal.com]

That was complete and utter perfection. Including the ending.

[lordvalerymimes.livejournal.com]

*beams* You all really are too kind. :)