Good for a giggle..
Dec. 26th, 2007 10:48 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sunny-bexster.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
reddwarfslashSomeone on WhoseLineSlash posted this, I took a goosey and had to try it out. It's probably been done before, probably even done on this community but the result was very funny.
Oddly enough, one line of this ridiculous story was rather fitting - I'll leave you to find it!
Oddly enough, one line of this ridiculous story was rather fitting - I'll leave you to find it!
Instant Slash Story - just add nouns
The darkness was all around as Lister walked through Beach down towards his Bunkroom, random thoughts of 69s crossing his mind.
He had been shocked earlier when McGruder had told him she often dreamed about Hollister involved in Blow Job with a Robot Goldfish , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Rimmer .
One day he would discuss his feelings with Kryten, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Rimmer masturbating himself with a Feather Boa.
The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the Hoover he was carrying with him. Would Rimmer's Eye feel like that to his Elbow?
What would Rimmer think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating Curry off Rimmer's beautiful Shoulders?
Lister rubbed the Hoover against his Eye whispering Rimmer's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his Bunkroom but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Rimmer's name into the night.
Meanwhile, Rimmer had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Beach was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the Curry he was carrying and leisurely scratched his Eye.
He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Lister calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his Curry and ran towards the sound of his Smeg Head's voice.
Rimmer stumbled through the darkness towards Lister. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his Smeg Head being attacked by a Robot Goldfish. Was he about to be raped by Kochanski dressed as Hollister? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his Elbow.
Lister, Lister, my Smeg Head, screamed Rimmer. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Lister leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the Hoover and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare Shoulders pointing in the air.
Rimmer! Lister gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Kryten said you were in your Bunkroom engaged in some 69 with McGruder.
No, I was alone in my Bunkroom with nothing but my Feather Boa for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your Shoulders was, and how I would like to stroke my Eye against it, and have you kiss my Elbow, and now I see your Shoulders for myself I realise that not even Hollister has a Shoulders to compare with yours.
Oh, Smeg Head, Kryten said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved McGruder.
What! That old Robot Goldfish, I'd rather get involved in Blow Job with Kochanski, a Hoover and Curry than dream of 69 with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my Elbow curl.
Oh, Lister!
Oh, Rimmer, my Smeg Head!
Cue soft music, sounds of 69s and Blow Job, soft focus and fade.........
Here's the link if anyone wants to make any more: http://www.britslash.co.uk/instantslash.html
The darkness was all around as Lister walked through Beach down towards his Bunkroom, random thoughts of 69s crossing his mind.
He had been shocked earlier when McGruder had told him she often dreamed about Hollister involved in Blow Job with a Robot Goldfish , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Rimmer .
One day he would discuss his feelings with Kryten, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Rimmer masturbating himself with a Feather Boa.
The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the Hoover he was carrying with him. Would Rimmer's Eye feel like that to his Elbow?
What would Rimmer think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating Curry off Rimmer's beautiful Shoulders?
Lister rubbed the Hoover against his Eye whispering Rimmer's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his Bunkroom but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Rimmer's name into the night.
Meanwhile, Rimmer had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Beach was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the Curry he was carrying and leisurely scratched his Eye.
He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Lister calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his Curry and ran towards the sound of his Smeg Head's voice.
Rimmer stumbled through the darkness towards Lister. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his Smeg Head being attacked by a Robot Goldfish. Was he about to be raped by Kochanski dressed as Hollister? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his Elbow.
Lister, Lister, my Smeg Head, screamed Rimmer. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Lister leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the Hoover and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare Shoulders pointing in the air.
Rimmer! Lister gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Kryten said you were in your Bunkroom engaged in some 69 with McGruder.
No, I was alone in my Bunkroom with nothing but my Feather Boa for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your Shoulders was, and how I would like to stroke my Eye against it, and have you kiss my Elbow, and now I see your Shoulders for myself I realise that not even Hollister has a Shoulders to compare with yours.
Oh, Smeg Head, Kryten said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved McGruder.
What! That old Robot Goldfish, I'd rather get involved in Blow Job with Kochanski, a Hoover and Curry than dream of 69 with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my Elbow curl.
Oh, Lister!
Oh, Rimmer, my Smeg Head!
Cue soft music, sounds of 69s and Blow Job, soft focus and fade.........
Here's the link if anyone wants to make any more: http://www.britslash.co.uk/instantslash.html
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-12-26 10:58 pm (UTC)I literally have Tears.
:D
Thank you.
Oh and
What would Rimmer think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating Curry off Rimmer's beautiful Shoulders?
The Line perchance?
Also:
thinking of Rimmer masturbating himself with a Feather Boa.
NICE visual!! ;)
Sweet dreams tonight.
Phe
no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 06:34 pm (UTC)I made my own...
Date: 2007-12-26 11:09 pm (UTC)The darkness was all around as Rimmer walked through Park down towards his Bunk room, random thoughts of Doggy style crossing his mind.
He had been shocked earlier when Clare-Annet had told him she often dreamed about Hollister involved in Thrusting with a Cat , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Lister .
One day he would discuss his feelings with Holly, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Lister masturbating himself with a A-Beads.
The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the Whisk he was carrying with him. Would Lister's Penis feel like that to his Knees?
What would Lister think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating Chips off Lister's beautiful Chest?
Rimmer rubbed the Whisk against his Penis whispering Lister's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his Bunk room but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Lister's name into the night.
Meanwhile, Lister had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Park was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the Chips he was carrying and leisurely scratched his Penis.
He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Rimmer calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his Chips and ran towards the sound of his Babes's voice.
Lister stumbled through the darkness towards Rimmer. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his Babes being attacked by a Cat. Was he about to be raped by Talkie toaster dressed as Hollister? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his Knees.
Rimmer, Rimmer, my Babes, screamed Lister. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Rimmer leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the Whisk and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare Chest pointing in the air.
Lister! Rimmer gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Holly said you were in your Bunk room engaged in some Doggy style with Clare-Annet.
No, I was alone in my Bunk room with nothing but my A-Beads for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your Chest was, and how I would like to stroke my Penis against it, and have you kiss my Knees, and now I see your Chest for myself I realise that not even Hollister has a Chest to compare with yours.
Oh, Babes, Holly said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Clare-Annet.
What! That old Cat, I'd rather get involved in Thrusting with Talkie toaster, a Whisk and Chips than dream of Doggy style with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my Knees curl.
Oh, Rimmer!
Oh, Lister, my Babes!
Cue soft music, sounds of Doggy style and Thrusting, soft focus and fade.........
Phe
Re: I made my own...
Date: 2007-12-27 01:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 12:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 01:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-28 02:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 01:09 am (UTC)I actually did one of those a few months ago (probably not from the same site) and since I got a Christmas story I was planning on posting it here before Christmas but I forgot. Oh well, I might as well do it now. :P
Rimmer woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one strong box that looked like a shoe.
Then Rimmer noticed that Lister was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Rimmer thought that he would surprise Lister. Maybe even sneak up behind him and lick him on his slippery hand. That always made Lister squishy.
Rimmer crept huskily down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its ugly lights, and the presents, heaped up gently, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Lister. Kissing someone.
Rimmer was so angry, he picked up a telephone from a table and threw it sexily on the table.
They both looked around.
"Lister, you glowing dragonfly!" Rimmer yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Rimmer looked and then rubbed his foot and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Lister said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a smeggy kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Rimmer said quickly. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be lovely."
That seemed reasonable. Rimmer went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, as sharp as a chemisty teacher's cardigan. He made Rimmer's forehead feel all shiny.
"You see?" Lister said slowly and Rimmer saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 01:50 am (UTC)The darkness was all around as Rimmer walked through Alps down towards his hammock, random thoughts of spedlunking crossing his mind.
He had been shocked earlier when Nirvana had told him she often dreamed about Ackerman involved in bukkake with a cat , but each to their own, she didn't know about his fantasies involving Lister .
One day he would discuss his feelings with Peterson, but not yet, he still hardly believed how aroused he could be by just thinking of Lister masturbating himself with a toothbrush.
The night air was fresh and he sat down in a quiet location and began to stroke the toothbrush he was carrying with him. Would Lister's bicep feel like that to his abdominal muscles?
What would Lister think of him if he knew how his cock grew hard as he thought of eating popadoms off Lister's beautiful gluts?
Rimmer rubbed the toothbrush against his bicep whispering Lister's name to himself. He knew he should stop and wait until he got back to his hammock but desire overtook him and he came, screaming Lister's name into the night.
Meanwhile, Lister had not been able to sleep and had decided to go out in the night air. Alps was such a beautiful place at this time of the night. He took a bite of the popadoms he was carrying and leisurely scratched his bicep.
He jumped in alarm as he heard a voice in the distance. Was that Rimmer calling his name. He must be in trouble to shout for him with such desperation. He dropped his popadoms and ran towards the sound of his pookie's voice.
Lister stumbled through the darkness towards Rimmer. Panicked thoughts ran through his head. Was his pookie being attacked by a cat. Was he about to be raped by Hollister dressed as Ackerman? His heart beat faster and he felt the pulse throbbing in his abdominal muscles.
Rimmer, Rimmer, my pookie, screamed Lister. It's alright, I'm coming, I'll save you! Rimmer leaped to his feet in panic, dropping the toothbrush and trying to untangle his trousers from around his ankles. He fell over, his bare gluts pointing in the air.
Lister! Rimmer gasped embarrassedly. What are you doing here? Peterson said you were in your hammock engaged in some spedlunking with Nirvana.
No, I was alone in my hammock with nothing but my toothbrush for company. I couldn't sleep for thinking how beautiful your gluts was, and how I would like to stroke my bicep against it, and have you kiss my abdominal muscles, and now I see your gluts for myself I realise that not even Ackerman has a gluts to compare with yours.
Oh, pookie, Peterson said you felt that way but I never believed him, I thought you loved Nirvana.
What! That old cat, I'd rather get involved in bukkake with Hollister, a toothbrush and popadoms than dream of spedlunking with her, Ooh, the very thought makes my abdominal muscles curl.
Oh, Rimmer!
Oh, Lister, my pookie!
Cue soft music, sounds of spedlunking and bukkake, soft focus and fade.........
no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 04:41 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-12-27 04:13 am (UTC)I found an even better one!
Date: 2007-12-27 06:41 pm (UTC)To Lustily Slap
Lister and Rimmer were celebrating a sexily Valentine's Day together. Lister had cooked a brown dinner and they ate on a giant top hat by candlelight.
"My darling," Rimmer said, stroking Lister's ear lobe, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Lister. "It is but a square token of my stretchy love."
Lister opened the box. Inside was a day-glow orange Garry! He gazed at it angrily. Then he gazed at Rimmer angrily. "It's mighty," Lister said. "Come here and let me slap you."
Just then, a long crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like a giant hungry caterpillar, gorging at society till it bled anarchy and dismay. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a gorgeous voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Rimmer read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other manically as the crone cackled some more. Lister's arse began to tremble. Then Rimmer shrugged, pulled out a porno mag, and hit the crone on her nipple. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Lister said and kissed Rimmer happily. "This is a squeaky Valentine's Day!"
They icily burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they slapped each other all night long.
The Adventure Of The Badger
Lister and Rimmer were out for a x-rated Valentine's walk up a Giant Chicken’s ass. As they went, Rimmer rested his hand on Lister's japs eye. It was the most romantic walk ever. But even though the day was so jappy, Lister was filled with wet dread.
"Do you suppose it's moley here?" he asked raunchily.
"You glittering silly," Rimmer said, tickling Lister with his rolling pin. "It's completely slippery."
Just then, a rubbery badger leapt out from behind a dildo and fucked Rimmer in the baps. "Aaargh!" Rimmer screamed.
Things looked blistered. But Lister, although he was sexy, knew he had to save his love. He grabbed a banana hammock and, like Gary Glitter rolling in a pile of naked babies, beat the badger slinkily until it ran off. "That will teach you to suckle innocent people."
Then he clasped Rimmer close. Rimmer was bleeding huskily. "My darling," Lister said, and pressed his lips to Rimmer's testicle.
"I love you," Rimmer said sexily, and expired in Lister's arms.
Lister never loved again.
...the latter one was written by my sister - it took a lot of guts for her to deviate from the names 'Harry' and 'Draco'
Re: I found an even better one!
Date: 2007-12-29 12:15 am (UTC)Is 'baps' slang that I don't grok?
Re: I found an even better one!
Date: 2007-12-29 12:16 am (UTC)Re: I found an even better one!
Date: 2007-12-29 12:18 am (UTC)Re: I found an even better one!
Date: 2007-12-29 12:58 am (UTC)