reddwarfslash | Regarding BooBoo, Chapter 9

Regarding BooBoo, Chapter 9
(For chapters 1-8, go to Dervla's Slash)

Pairing: Killcrazy/Other

Rating: PG-13

Summary: More fun with miniDwarfers! Kryten makes some progress in
his repairs of the Tempus with amusing results.

Author's notes: Finally typed up this beast! It's been on my desk
for a year now.

The Cat was curled up, sleeping in the corner of Rimmer's bunk. He'd
worn himself out, playing with the catnip sachet Kryten had given
him to keep him occupied hours before. The mattress bounced as
Krissie and Simmy sang a clapping rhyme, but their energetic play
couldn't disturb his slumber.
Davey and Arnie were perched on the edge of Lister's bunk, where
Killcrazy had deposited them for their time-out. They pouted and
swung their sneakered feet defiantly. Lorelai was solemnly patting
Killcrazy's fuzzy red flat-top while Corrine collected empty juice
boxes and dirty napkins from the table, floor and bunks.
Kryten had taken the Tempus to a quiet, undisclosed location for
repairs; he had learned quickly that every last one of the Dwarfers
were terribly annoying children in some way or another. They were
not only loud, but messy as well. Normally that would be a blessing
for him, but not even he could keep up with 6 five-year-olds.
Corrine had been shocked and impressed at Killcrazy's patient and
just treatment of the two boys. They'd been plotting all variety of
nasty tricks to play on the three girls, and had been caught before
executing any of their well-laid plans.
Since they hadn't actually done anything wrong yet, Killcrazy had
issued a stern warning and a half-hour time-out in which the boys
were to think about how what they'd planned to do was wrong, and
what was the proper way to treat a lady.
Which they were, predictably, not doing.
Arnie's left foot connected with Simmy's forehead as she and Krissie
shifted positions on the lower bunk, and his eyes instantly widened
with fear. Simmy burst into tears, clutching her head, and Krissie
berated Arnie visciously as she inspected the red sneaker-mark on
Simone's forehead.
Corrine took over the inspection of Simmy's head and declared with a
smile that she would survive, but she'd likely have a nasty bruise
for a while. Arnie was relieved; he was more terrified that he'd
hurt her than he was of being punished.
Killcrazy stepped out into the corridor and returned wtih a Krispie
bar for Simone. she broke off a piece to share with Krissie and
happily munched on the rest, tears all but forgotten. Killcrazy cast
a stern look at the boys and four tiny feet stopped swinging and
were tucked up beneath two small bottoms in a heartbeat.
"Thank you, Mistew Cwazy," Simone grinned, her face smeared with
chocolate.
"No problem, kiddo," he smiled, tousling her hair. Simmy looked
nearly as pleased as did Corrine.
Davey muttered in Arnie's general direction. "You kick her, she gets
sweets. She kicked me, and I got a time-out."
Kit sat up, "Did thomebody thay Krithpieth? 'Cauthe I'm hungry."
Davey, Arnie and Lorelai concurred, but Krissie and Simmy could only
mumble around their mouthfuls of chocolate.
Killcrazy looked panicked. "Candy I can do... I don't know what's
proper food for a bunch of kiddoes!"
Corrine considered this. "Ask them what they want."
It was decided that pasta would do; the girls wanted cheese ravioli
with alfredo sauce, and the boys wanted tinned meat ravioli with
tomato sauce. Corrine excused herself into the hallway to the food
dispensers. "Love, mind fetching the I-C-E-C-R-E-A-M for their
afters?" she asked Killcrazy on her return.
Kit bit into a piece of the filled pasta and immediately spit it
back out - hitting Davey right between the eyes. "Thith thtuff
thuckth. It tathteth like dog food. I want thomething with chicken."
Meanwhile, Davey had loaded his fork, and was taking aim. A square
projectile made a splat as it hit Kit's shirt, and left a trail of
tomato as it slid to the floor. "You smell like dog food," he
grinned devilishly.
Kit hissed and made himself look big. "When I get done with you,
you're gonna look like dog food!" Then, something happened. "What's
happening to my voice?" cat asked, as it cracked. He blushed, and
realized he had grown several feet in an instant. The other five had
also sprouted up.
"I'm itchy," Lister complained. "I feel like I'm growing hair in
weird places."
Rimmer, who was staring at the girls' budding bosoms, placed his
napkin in his lap with a nervous chuckle and a deep crimson blush.
Corrine gaped at the kids. "Bloody hell."
***
"Did it work?" Kryten chirped, popping his head into the room.
"Sort of," Killcrazy sighed. "Corrine's teaching the girls about
their monthlies, and the guys are... probably trying to have sex
with somethin'. Hoping it's not the girls."
If mechanoids could blush, Kryten would have at the mention of
menstruation. A sanitation droid should have been comfortable with
the subject, but Kryten had long since removed his more unneccessary
files, and with no women on board for so long, proper use and
disposal of tampons and sanitary napkins was not a priority. "I see.
Well, that's something, at least. I'll, er... get back to work."
***
Corrine sighed heavily and flopped onto a bench in the food
court. "You girls go ahead, I'll wait here for you. You've got an
hour." The mall had a wealth of stores geared toward the younger,
more trendy crewmembers, and the teenage children of the higher
ranking officers, and the three girls were on a rampage.
Killcrazy took a seat next to her, nodding toward the table where
the three boys were murdering a bucket of KFC, and various other
fast food delicacies.
"Must have hollow legs, don't know where else it'd go."
"Come on now. You can't tell me you didn't eat like that when you
were a growing teenager. I've never met a man who didn't."
Killcrazy shrugged. "Probably. Least as long as they're stuffing
their faces with fast food they're not on the pull."
Corrine nodded her head emphatically. "We can't let them go on
hormone-charged rampages they might regret when they're themselves
again."
Killcrazy looked up. "Cor?"
"Yeah?"
"Where'd they go?"
***
Coming next: Hormonal teenager on the rampage; wackiness ensues.