Love and Jealousy 8

[felineranger.livejournal.com]

 You can all breathe a sigh of relief, it's over now!!!  *Wipes brow*


        

Alex opened his mouth to defend his friend, but Lister didn’t need any help. “That’s right. Go on and think the worst just like you always do,” he replied, “Don’t bother giving me the benefit of the doubt.”

“What doubt? You stay out all night long and then I come in and find you having a cosy breakfast with your little fuck-buddy! There doesn’t seem much room for doubt if you ask me!”

“Well, maybe you should try asking me for a change! Did you really think I was going to come back last night after everything you said to me?”

“Guys...” Alex said softly.

“What’s the matter, Listy? Was the truth a little too painful for you?”

“The truth? What the hell would you know about the truth? You don’t seem to believe me no matter what I say!” 

“Why should I, when no matter what I say to you, you lie to me!”

“I haven’t lied to you about anything!”

“Guys...” Alex repeated, a little louder.

“Oh yeah? Well, then why don’t you look me in the eye and tell me truthfully who you were with last night?” Rimmer shouted.

            In the pause that followed they suddenly realised the canteen had gone very quiet. “I tried to stop you,” Alex said meekly. Lister took a deep breath,

“Okay, Rimmer,” he said with forced serenity, “I’ll tell you where I went last night, but not here. This isn’t the time or the place.”

“What? You don’t want to admit in front of an audience what a cheating piece of scum you are?”

“That’s enough, Rimmer!” Lister said harshly, looking around embarrassed. 

“Oh for God’s sake,” Rimmer said disgusted. He whirled to face the intrigued onlookers. “Hey everyone!” he bellowed, “Lister and I have been shagging each other for the past nine months! Only guess what? He’s been cheating on me with his scummy ass-wipe of an ex-boyfriend! So now that you won’t be hearing anything you don’t already know, we’ll just continue with our argument, okay?”

            Lister’s face flushed traffic-light red. He shoved his chair back, elbowed roughly past Rimmer and ran out of the canteen. Rimmer pursued him. Alex smiled weakly at the crowd and slinked out with his head down. In the echoing silence that followed somebody let out a long whistle. All over the canteen, a lot of people suddenly seemed to be exchanging banknotes.

 

            Rimmer skidded to a halt outside their sleeping quarters. The door was locked. He hammered on it furiously, “Lister, open this door!”

“Go away!” Lister shouted angrily from within.

“I will not go away! Open up!”

“No!”

“I mean it, Lister! You open this door right this instant or...”

“Or what?”

“Or...Or I’ll go and tell the others what we’ve been doing! I’ll tell them everything! About you and me, about Alex, all of it!”

“Go ahead! Seeing as you’ve already outed us in front of half the crew, by the time you find them they’ll probably already know! Why didn’t you just announce it on the smegging P.A system! It would have been more efficient!”

            Alex caught up and approached cautiously, “Is he okay?” he asked guardedly.

“Sod off!” Rimmer said angrily, “Haven’t you caused enough trouble?”

“Me? I’m not the one who just went Melrose Place in the canteen! I never realised you were such a drama queen.”

“You don’t expect me to be the littlest bit upset about the fact that you two have been shagging?”

“We haven’t!” Alex told him earnestly, “Dave wasn’t with me last night. He only came over this morning to tell me you two had been fighting.”

“Well, if he wasn’t with you then where was he?”

“Ask him,” Alex said, nodding to the door. “I don’t expect you to believe anything I say.”

            Rimmer returned his attention to the door, “Lister, where were you last night?” There was no answer from the door. “Come on! If you weren’t with Alex then where did you go?”

“None of your business!” Came the belligerent reply.

“What do you mean it’s none of my business?” Rimmer yelled, “I’d like to know who’s business it is, if it’s not mine!”

“Maybe I was with Alex! What do you think about that?”

“Hey!” Alex called out indignantly, “Don’t drag me into this!”

“Tell him, Alex! Tell him how good it was!” Lister shouted sarcastically through the door. 

“Dave, this isn’t helping,” Alex replied sternly.

“I don’t care! Leave me alone! Both of you!”

            “You know where he was, don’t you?” Rimmer asked quietly, as they turned away from the door in despair. 

“Yes,” Alex said, “But it’s not up to me to tell you.”

“Throw me a smegging bone here, Alex,” Rimmer said bitterly, “I need to know what’s going on.”

“It’s your own fault. I warned you this would happen if you didn’t stop acting like such a git.”

“Listen, the last thing I need right now is a lecture, especially from you!”

“Actually, I think it’s exactly what you need,” Alex snapped, “Here we are, just where I said we’d end up yesterday, and you’re still not listening!” Rimmer bristled. “Has it even occurred to you that he might be more willing to open the door and talk about this if you just apologised?” Alex asked sharply.

“Me? Apologise for what?” Rimmer trilled.

“I don’t know exactly what happened last night, but he told me you said some pretty horrendous things to him.”

“Of course I did, I was angry.”

“And did you mean any of it?”

“Well...” Rimmer floundered, “Maybe...At the time.”

“You really upset him, you know. He was almost in tears this morning just telling me about it.” Rimmer threw a guilty look towards the locked door behind them. “Just try it my way, will you, Rimmer?” Alex said wearily, “If it doesn’t work, you can always go back to yelling.”

            Awkwardly, Rimmer sidled back to the door. “Lister?” he called gently. No reply. “Lister, please open the door. I know I said some horrible things to you last night but...I was scared and hurt and...well, I just wanted to share it out, I suppose. I didn’t really mean that stuff I said about you being...” he hesitated, throwing a brief glance at Alex. Now that it came to it, he didn’t want to admit in front of Lister’s best friend what he’d called him. “Anyway, I’m sorry. Please, let’s talk about this. I don’t want to fight anymore. I just want things back the way they were. Please, Listy; open the door.” There was a pause, and then the entry panel on the door flashed green. Lister had unlocked it. Rimmer sighed with relief. He glanced over his shoulder at Alex, who gave him an encouraging half-smile; “Now don’t screw it up,” he added by way of advice. Rimmer smiled back weakly and pressed his palm against the panel.

        Lister was sitting at the table with his arms folded, staring at Rimmer reproachfully. Rimmer sat down meekly, “I really am sorry,” he said awkwardly. Lister didn’t reply. “I love you,” Rimmer added hopefully.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” Lister replied coldly. Rimmer winced,

“Look, I know I was wrong. About...well, about everything. This relationship stuff...it’s all still new to me. I don’t mean to be such a gonad-brained goit, it’s just the only way I know how to deal with things. You know that.”

“I know it,” Lister said tensely, “But that doesn’t make it feel any better when you’re screaming obscenities in my face accusing me of fucking half the crew.”

“I know the things I said to you last night were unforgivable,” Rimmer looked at his hands, ashamed, “I knew it as soon as I’d said them. And that’s why I was so afraid that you’d gone to Alex. Because I knew that in the circumstances it would have been understandable. And I would have deserved it.”

“I almost did,” Lister told him, suddenly focusing very hard on a bare patch of wall on the other side of the room.

“But you didn’t.”

“No,” Lister said quietly.

            Rimmer swallowed hard, “So...where did you go?” Lister didn’t answer him, and Rimmer’s hopes that he had simply gone and crashed with either the Cat or Kryten gurgled down the plughole of despair. Pangs of dread and uncertainty started sinking their claws into his stomach. “Please tell me,” he begged in a voice that didn’t sound like his own, “Even if it’s bad. Because I don’t think I could handle not knowing. I think that would drive me even crazier than....than...” Than the thought of you in bed with somebody else; his brain supplied the words that he couldn’t bring himself to speak. “Please, Listy. Who were you with last night?” Lister bit his lip, hesitating. “Kriss?” Rimmer asked tremulously.

“No,” he replied softly. He looked up and met the pain of Rimmer’s gaze, “Lauren.”

            Rimmer had to take a moment to compose himself; he felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. “Lauren,” he repeated. Lister looked away again, ashamed. Rimmer swallowed hard. His throat had gone very dry. “Did you...Did you...?”

“Not quite,” Lister said quietly, “I went back with her to her quarters and I had every intention of screwing her senseless,” he gave Rimmer a sharp look, “And then coming back here today and showing you the photos just like you wanted.” Rimmer closed his eyes. “But when it came down to it....Once I was there in her room and we were going at it across the table, and I should have been horny as hell...” Lister stopped and shook his head, “All I could hear was your voice in my head screaming the word ‘Slut!’ And I couldn’t do it.” He wiped at his eyes. “I stayed the night on her sofa and then went to find Alex this morning. To talk,” he added, with a meaningful glare.

            Rimmer put his head in his hands. “So, it wasn’t...you didn’t...”

“It was a meaningless half-shag that ended with me crying my eyes out with my keks round my ankles,” Lister replied testily, “If that makes you feel any better.” Rimmer snorted and shook his head helplessly. The ridiculousness of the image made the pain slightly more bearable. “I think you’re the only person I’ve ever met who could burst into tears in the middle of sex,” he said hopelessly, “You’ve got the emotional boundaries of a fourteen year old girl.”

“Says you!” Lister replied indignantly, “I hardly think your behaviour yesterday was the pinnacle of mature, reasoned thought!”

“No,” Rimmer admitted. He gave a deep sigh and looked up into Lister’s eyes, “Can you forgive me?” he asked, “For what I said? And...what I did?”

“I don’t think I have much choice,” Lister said dismally, “Considering what I did in retaliation.”

“I don’t care about that,” Rimmer told him earnestly. Lister looked at him warily. “I don’t,” he insisted. “If I thought you’d gone to someone you actually wanted, who you actually had feelings for, then that would be different. But Lauren?” He laughed despite himself, “I mean, smeg it all, do you even know her surname?” 

            Lister opened his mouth to protest but nothing came out. His eyes glazed over for a moment as he thought frantically. “Foster!” he finally said triumphantly. Rimmer grinned, “You had to think about it.”

“You’re right, I’m a disgusting person,” Lister moaned, covering his face, “Going off with girls who’s names I can’t even remember. I really am a slut.” Rimmer reached over and took his hand, “I forgive you,” he said gently. Lister flung himself out of his chair into Rimmer’s arms and they held each other tightly. “Does this mean you forgive me too?” he asked. Lister wrapped his arms around him and buried his face in his neck. Rimmer felt something hot and wet on his skin; “Are you crying again?” Lister sniffed and nodded and Rimmer smiled contentedly, “You’re a big baby.”

“That’s why you love me,” Lister snuffled.

“I suppose it is.”

            Lister drew back, wiping his eyes, “What are we going to do? I mean, everybody knows.” Rimmer nodded,

“Yes. I suppose it will have gone round the ship three times by now, thanks to me and my big mouth.”

“What are we going to tell the others? It shouldn’t have been this way. We should have come clean months ago.”

“It’s a bit late to be worrying about that now. Maybe this isn’t such a bad thing. There never would have been a good time to bring it up; at least everything’s out in the open now.”

“What about Alex? We didn’t really give him a choice in the matter, did we?”

“No,” Rimmer said guiltily, “I suppose that wasn’t really fair. I should apologise for that.”

“Just that?” Lister asked meaningfully.

“For everything,” Rimmer muttered, “And I suppose I owe him a ‘thank you’ as well.”

“What for?”

“Well, for not trying to get his end away with you last night, for one. And for some of the good advice he’s given me over the last couple of days.”

            “See,” Lister poked him gently, “Told you he wasn’t so bad.”

“No,” Rimmer said with weary reluctance, “You were right. He is...” he sighed and forced the words out, “He is a nice guy. And he’s been a good friend to you.” Lister kissed his cheek, “I’m sure he’d be your friend too,” he said softly, “If you gave him a chance. Then we could all be friends. Wouldn’t that make life easier?” Rimmer kissed Lister’s forehead, “It would,” he agreed quietly.

“And we’re going to need a good friend when all this reaches Kriss. You know how she hates to be left out of gossip. She’s gonna kick our arses all the way to Callisto and back for this.”.......

 

 

                                                                                                THE END

Comments

[kahvi.livejournal.com]

First of all, well done you for finishing! Writing and editing a story of this length is hard work, and you've stuck with it. I do have some concrit for you, and I was wondering if you would like to hear it? And if so, would you like it e-mailed, or may I post it here?

[felineranger.livejournal.com]

Always pleased to have concrit - it's the only way to improve! You post it wherever you like, my dear. :-)

[kahvi.livejournal.com]

All right then - I'll put it here. :)

I will say that I normally really like your stories. And while I don't think this one was badly written, it didn't quite work for me. I think one of the reasons was the fact that you've got an OC as one of the major characters, which is always tricky. I didn't read the story which this one is based on, so perhaps that would have made a difference, but I didn't get any sort of grasp on the character of Alex at all. I realize that he's there mainly to facilitate growth in Lister and Rimmer's relationship, but the fact that he is just that is a little transparent. He comes off as a literary device more than a person, if you see what I mean.

While I like your Lister, and think he is well written, I don't always recognize your Rimmer. I understand that you are postulating that he changed as a result of being in a relationship with Lister, but could he really change so much, so quickly? Quite possibly, yes, but you don't really elaborate much on it in the story. Nor do you elaborate much on Rimmer and Lister's relationship, and how it came to be as balanced and harmonic as it seems prior to Alex's return. Also - you're saying Lister loves Rimmer because he knows his potential... but does that mean he loves the Rimmer-who-became-Ace, or this resurrected Rimmer, or both? Does he think they are the same person? Does he not? Probably nitpicking, but I find it odd that he wouldn't reflect on it.

In short, I think you have a great idea here, but one that perhaps needs a little more fleshing out. I hope my comments were helpful rather than annoying, and I hope to see more of your stories!

[felineranger.livejournal.com]

First I'd like to thank you for the detailed concrit - it's always flattering when somebody takes your work seriously enough to crit properly. I think the major problem I had with this story, was that it was largely self-indulgent. Love and Friendship had a satisfying ending in itself and didn't really NEED a sequel, but once it was finished I found myself thinking 'That's nice, but what happens when Alex comes back?' I wanted to know, so I started the story without much idea of where it was going to go and I think that shows. It's over-written and characterisation suffers in order to make the plot work.
I think some of your comments can be answered by reading Love and Friendship, which is a much better story and gives a more in depth view of the character relationships which was missing in this fic (although Alex was only ever a 2D creation). Cheeky, I know, but I would find it interesting if you could read that (it's on ff.net) and then let me know if it changes your reading of L&J at all. Purely to feed my own curiosity, you understand! :-)