Fic: Byway PG-13
Apr. 14th, 2008 10:35 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
hazeltea.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
reddwarfslashTitle: Byway
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Dwarf, and I do not profit from this. I just do this to amuse myself. Thank you,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
metalkatt, for the beta.
This comes after the following:
Function
Static
Love
Release
Reunited
What was probably an hour ago, Rimmer had followed Lister with his head and his hopes held high, secretly pleased that Lister had thought highly enough of him to shed a tear when he thought that Rimmer wouldn’t notice. It was the embodiment of his fondest childhood fantasies, where he’d imagine himself running away from home, or, in his more miserable moments, perhaps he’d daydream himself dead from some horrible accident or incurable disease. Then, surely, his family would realize just how sorry they were, and how much they missed him! He could almost imagine the pristine mask of his mother’s face cracking into a theatric display of grief, but somewhere along the way it always morphed into the faces of the women he’d seen cry in the movies. Once, he had made the mistake of disclosing his thoughts to his brothers in the heat of an argument, and Howard and Frank had decided to test his theory, leaving him tied up in a tree in the hopes that he’d eventually starve to death. It had taken him until morning to untangle himself, and he had been grounded for a week for going missing. Oddly enough, this only served to reinforce his fantasy. Perhaps in this next instance, he’d imagine having two distinct forms of cancer simultaneously, if that didn’t make them feel horrible, what could?
Twenty minutes into the excursion, Rimmer’s chipper mood was flagging. Lister had begun the journey with a confident stride, but was now mumbling about programming and was crouching down to run his hands along the smooth wooden planks every few yards.
“You don’t have the foggiest idea of where we’re going. You’re leading us in circles, aren’t you.” Rimmer’s tone was smug, it was clear that this wasn’t a question.
Lister didn’t need to lift his head to know that the hologram’s face was contorted into a snide smirk, all flared nostrils and crinkled cheeks. If they were both doomed, Rimmer could always find a silver lining in Lister’s misfortune. “Your programming’s showing through the floor.” he replied, tapping the ground. “I’m trying to follow the code out, but it’s pretty complicated. You’re quite a piece of work.” He raised his eyes to Rimmer and gave him a teasing smirk, tracing his finger in slow circles across the worn planks.
He was treated to the sight of Rimmer’s face falling, having suddenly gone pale as he tried to work out the depth and breadth of what Lister had implied. Oh, how he’d missed this.
Rimmer stammered. “Don’t go poking around in my head, those are my private thoughts!” he barked, his face turning red. “Just find a way out without sticking your grubby, curry stained hands where they don’t belong, it’s disrespectful, rude, and… and absolutely smegging disgusting.”
Lister chuckled under his breath, feeling the warmth in his chest spread throughout his body. “Whatever you say, man.” He grinned, leading them forward again. He followed the ghost trail of code, wondering what he would see if he were part of it, as Rimmer was; not that he’d set his mind at ease by letting him know that he simply didn’t have the parts needed to decipher the electronic mind and memories. Not for the first time since he’d come here, he wished that he did. Somewhere between Rimmer’s departure for dimensions unknown and the sleepless nights spent hunched over a disassembled light bee, he’d developed a longing that he could no longer deny to himself, and the destruction of the bee had made him examine those feelings long and hard. For Lister, over a year had passed, a year filled with regret and realizations; yet Rimmer barely remembered his time as Ace. As far as the hologram was concerned, he’d barely been away for a weekend. Lister felt a sudden shyness at this thought, realizing that this was the first time he’d thought of Rimmer in that way while in his presence. He’d only just become comfortable with the thought that he didn’t want to live without him, and had thought nothing of pressing his lips to the shell of the dead light bee while murmuring reassuring promises. Now that Rimmer could actually hear him, though, saying even half of those things was unacceptable. He glanced over his shoulder and looked quickly away as Rimmer met his gaze.
“Tell me about Kochanski.” Rimmer finally said, falling into step alongside him a few moments later.
“What about her?” Lister asked, cautiously.
“I want to know what to expect. I was as unwelcome with that crew as an outbreak of herpes when I left, in case you’d forgotten. If I’ve got to deal with a superior officer who’s hormonally unstable the least you can do is tell me how bad it is.” Rimmer glared at him. “What did you do to get Kochanski? You’ve wanted her hologram for years. Is she a suitable replacement?”
He wasn’t sure if Rimmer was asking if Kochanski was a suitable replacement for his Kris, or for Rimmer himself. Either way, the answer was no, but he wasn’t about to say that, and he told himself that Rimmer wasn’t ready to hear it. “She’s not a hologram, I told you. She’s from an alternate dimension. It was all a big accident.” He answered, shoving his hands in his pockets. He scuffed the toe of his boot across the ground and frowned.
Rimmer’s nose twitched. “That’s supposed to make me feel better, is it? I’ve been outranked and she’s alive. Marvelous news for me, Listy. I’m lucky I still outrank the toaster.”
Lister stopped in his tracks. “Rimmer, man, why are you doing this?” he sighed. “She’s got nothin’ against you. Without her, I couldn’t have brought you back. You know this sort of technology’s beyond me. She’s the one that stood by me when everyone said I was crazy.”
“So, what you’re telling me, Listy, is that I owe a debt to Kochanski for helping you resurrect me so I can go back to Starbug, where I’m universally despised, have been overthrown by a mechanical toilet scrubber, and can’t even have a cup of tea that doesn’t taste of your piss.” Rimmer’s arms were crossed, and his hazel eyes were narrowed to shining slits. “I’m sure you’re distracted by her most of the time, so why’d you do this to me? Is it a laugh for you, then?”
The accusation knocked the breath out of Lister’s chest, the sudden pain of the blow replaced by a wave of hot anger. “You have no idea of the hell that you put me through.” He said quietly, his voice shaking slightly as his fingers balled up into fists. “I don’t care what Kryten and the Cat say about you, I don’t care if Kris or Kryten are the ones givin’ the orders on Starbug, but don’t you ever dare say that this is a smegging joke to me, you hear?”
Rimmer’s eyes widened, and he took a step back.
“I’ve been without you for over a year, Arn. Alone with the knowledge that I’d killed you. You don’t remember that time. You don’t carry that guilt. I needed you, and that time and guilt was my punishment, so if anyone owes a debt to Kris it’s me, understand? So I’m sorry that I don’t have a red carpet to roll out for you, or the glamorous life of Ace Rimmer to offer you.”
Rimmer faltered. “That’s not what I meant.” He darted his eyes away, looking down. He looked frustrated and flustered, and Lister wished more than ever that he could read those encoded thoughts.
Lister bit his lip and sighed. “All right.” He moved forward, bridging the gap between them. “Look… let me be honest about Kris. She’s really something, you know, but she’s not my Krissie. It’s like… like they could be sisters, you know. She looks and sounds similar, but not exactly like I remember. She’s so serious all the time. Really uptight. In fact, sometimes she reminds me of you.” Lister chuckled, and Rimmer rolled his eyes.
“Oh, ha-ha, smeg for brains. Get on with it.” he snapped.
Lister smiled sadly at him. “There’s not much else to say.” He said. “In her dimension, I was the one who was brought back as a hologram. That’s the Lister she’s in love with, I don’t get a second look. I like to think of it as the perfect mismatch, you know. She looks at me and sees all the ways that I’m not him, and I see all the ways that she’s not her. She doesn’t smile as much as I like, and when she does, she doesn’t have that pinball smile I was so crazy about, you know. It’s just not the same, but still, she’s really great. I think you’ll like her, Arn. Give it a chance, will ya? I don’t know how to handle it if you hate her. I’ve got enough trouble with Kryten on the rampage.”
“Kryten hates her?” Rimmer asked, a sudden smirk coming to his lips.
“Yeah.” Lister grumbled. “He’s insane, man. Gone totally bonkers with jealousy. He’s convinced that I’m going to abandon him and have a dozen kids with her. She doesn’t deserve it. No matter how many times I tell him that nothing’s gonna change the way I …” Lister’s train of thought was derailed by the sound of Rimmer’s laughter. He had missed the sound of that laugh more than he’d realized, the soft, deep sound from Rimmer’s chest that made him smile widely and his eyes light up in a mischievous way. Maybe it wasn’t a smile like the winning display of a pinball machine, but it was something perhaps even more amazing. It was smile that was literally made of light.
“You know…you should smile more.” He found himself saying.
Rimmer looked as though he was about to answer, when his head snapped to attention and his expression abruptly clouded over. “Lister. We have to turn around.” He said tersely, tugging on Lister’s arm.
“But we’re almost-“Lister turned to see what had made Rimmer lose his nerve. Several yards forward, the wooden planks rotted away, and a transparent wall of noxious greens and blues rose high into the nonexistent dark sky. A feeling of dread and nausea overtook him the longer he stared at the slowly swirling patterns of murky color. “Smeggin’ hell, what is that?” he choked, turning away to face the shadows.
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Dwarf, and I do not profit from this. I just do this to amuse myself. Thank you,
metalkatt, for the beta.This comes after the following:
Function
Static
Love
Release
Reunited
What was probably an hour ago, Rimmer had followed Lister with his head and his hopes held high, secretly pleased that Lister had thought highly enough of him to shed a tear when he thought that Rimmer wouldn’t notice. It was the embodiment of his fondest childhood fantasies, where he’d imagine himself running away from home, or, in his more miserable moments, perhaps he’d daydream himself dead from some horrible accident or incurable disease. Then, surely, his family would realize just how sorry they were, and how much they missed him! He could almost imagine the pristine mask of his mother’s face cracking into a theatric display of grief, but somewhere along the way it always morphed into the faces of the women he’d seen cry in the movies. Once, he had made the mistake of disclosing his thoughts to his brothers in the heat of an argument, and Howard and Frank had decided to test his theory, leaving him tied up in a tree in the hopes that he’d eventually starve to death. It had taken him until morning to untangle himself, and he had been grounded for a week for going missing. Oddly enough, this only served to reinforce his fantasy. Perhaps in this next instance, he’d imagine having two distinct forms of cancer simultaneously, if that didn’t make them feel horrible, what could?
Twenty minutes into the excursion, Rimmer’s chipper mood was flagging. Lister had begun the journey with a confident stride, but was now mumbling about programming and was crouching down to run his hands along the smooth wooden planks every few yards.
“You don’t have the foggiest idea of where we’re going. You’re leading us in circles, aren’t you.” Rimmer’s tone was smug, it was clear that this wasn’t a question.
Lister didn’t need to lift his head to know that the hologram’s face was contorted into a snide smirk, all flared nostrils and crinkled cheeks. If they were both doomed, Rimmer could always find a silver lining in Lister’s misfortune. “Your programming’s showing through the floor.” he replied, tapping the ground. “I’m trying to follow the code out, but it’s pretty complicated. You’re quite a piece of work.” He raised his eyes to Rimmer and gave him a teasing smirk, tracing his finger in slow circles across the worn planks.
He was treated to the sight of Rimmer’s face falling, having suddenly gone pale as he tried to work out the depth and breadth of what Lister had implied. Oh, how he’d missed this.
Rimmer stammered. “Don’t go poking around in my head, those are my private thoughts!” he barked, his face turning red. “Just find a way out without sticking your grubby, curry stained hands where they don’t belong, it’s disrespectful, rude, and… and absolutely smegging disgusting.”
Lister chuckled under his breath, feeling the warmth in his chest spread throughout his body. “Whatever you say, man.” He grinned, leading them forward again. He followed the ghost trail of code, wondering what he would see if he were part of it, as Rimmer was; not that he’d set his mind at ease by letting him know that he simply didn’t have the parts needed to decipher the electronic mind and memories. Not for the first time since he’d come here, he wished that he did. Somewhere between Rimmer’s departure for dimensions unknown and the sleepless nights spent hunched over a disassembled light bee, he’d developed a longing that he could no longer deny to himself, and the destruction of the bee had made him examine those feelings long and hard. For Lister, over a year had passed, a year filled with regret and realizations; yet Rimmer barely remembered his time as Ace. As far as the hologram was concerned, he’d barely been away for a weekend. Lister felt a sudden shyness at this thought, realizing that this was the first time he’d thought of Rimmer in that way while in his presence. He’d only just become comfortable with the thought that he didn’t want to live without him, and had thought nothing of pressing his lips to the shell of the dead light bee while murmuring reassuring promises. Now that Rimmer could actually hear him, though, saying even half of those things was unacceptable. He glanced over his shoulder and looked quickly away as Rimmer met his gaze.
“Tell me about Kochanski.” Rimmer finally said, falling into step alongside him a few moments later.
“What about her?” Lister asked, cautiously.
“I want to know what to expect. I was as unwelcome with that crew as an outbreak of herpes when I left, in case you’d forgotten. If I’ve got to deal with a superior officer who’s hormonally unstable the least you can do is tell me how bad it is.” Rimmer glared at him. “What did you do to get Kochanski? You’ve wanted her hologram for years. Is she a suitable replacement?”
He wasn’t sure if Rimmer was asking if Kochanski was a suitable replacement for his Kris, or for Rimmer himself. Either way, the answer was no, but he wasn’t about to say that, and he told himself that Rimmer wasn’t ready to hear it. “She’s not a hologram, I told you. She’s from an alternate dimension. It was all a big accident.” He answered, shoving his hands in his pockets. He scuffed the toe of his boot across the ground and frowned.
Rimmer’s nose twitched. “That’s supposed to make me feel better, is it? I’ve been outranked and she’s alive. Marvelous news for me, Listy. I’m lucky I still outrank the toaster.”
Lister stopped in his tracks. “Rimmer, man, why are you doing this?” he sighed. “She’s got nothin’ against you. Without her, I couldn’t have brought you back. You know this sort of technology’s beyond me. She’s the one that stood by me when everyone said I was crazy.”
“So, what you’re telling me, Listy, is that I owe a debt to Kochanski for helping you resurrect me so I can go back to Starbug, where I’m universally despised, have been overthrown by a mechanical toilet scrubber, and can’t even have a cup of tea that doesn’t taste of your piss.” Rimmer’s arms were crossed, and his hazel eyes were narrowed to shining slits. “I’m sure you’re distracted by her most of the time, so why’d you do this to me? Is it a laugh for you, then?”
The accusation knocked the breath out of Lister’s chest, the sudden pain of the blow replaced by a wave of hot anger. “You have no idea of the hell that you put me through.” He said quietly, his voice shaking slightly as his fingers balled up into fists. “I don’t care what Kryten and the Cat say about you, I don’t care if Kris or Kryten are the ones givin’ the orders on Starbug, but don’t you ever dare say that this is a smegging joke to me, you hear?”
Rimmer’s eyes widened, and he took a step back.
“I’ve been without you for over a year, Arn. Alone with the knowledge that I’d killed you. You don’t remember that time. You don’t carry that guilt. I needed you, and that time and guilt was my punishment, so if anyone owes a debt to Kris it’s me, understand? So I’m sorry that I don’t have a red carpet to roll out for you, or the glamorous life of Ace Rimmer to offer you.”
Rimmer faltered. “That’s not what I meant.” He darted his eyes away, looking down. He looked frustrated and flustered, and Lister wished more than ever that he could read those encoded thoughts.
Lister bit his lip and sighed. “All right.” He moved forward, bridging the gap between them. “Look… let me be honest about Kris. She’s really something, you know, but she’s not my Krissie. It’s like… like they could be sisters, you know. She looks and sounds similar, but not exactly like I remember. She’s so serious all the time. Really uptight. In fact, sometimes she reminds me of you.” Lister chuckled, and Rimmer rolled his eyes.
“Oh, ha-ha, smeg for brains. Get on with it.” he snapped.
Lister smiled sadly at him. “There’s not much else to say.” He said. “In her dimension, I was the one who was brought back as a hologram. That’s the Lister she’s in love with, I don’t get a second look. I like to think of it as the perfect mismatch, you know. She looks at me and sees all the ways that I’m not him, and I see all the ways that she’s not her. She doesn’t smile as much as I like, and when she does, she doesn’t have that pinball smile I was so crazy about, you know. It’s just not the same, but still, she’s really great. I think you’ll like her, Arn. Give it a chance, will ya? I don’t know how to handle it if you hate her. I’ve got enough trouble with Kryten on the rampage.”
“Kryten hates her?” Rimmer asked, a sudden smirk coming to his lips.
“Yeah.” Lister grumbled. “He’s insane, man. Gone totally bonkers with jealousy. He’s convinced that I’m going to abandon him and have a dozen kids with her. She doesn’t deserve it. No matter how many times I tell him that nothing’s gonna change the way I …” Lister’s train of thought was derailed by the sound of Rimmer’s laughter. He had missed the sound of that laugh more than he’d realized, the soft, deep sound from Rimmer’s chest that made him smile widely and his eyes light up in a mischievous way. Maybe it wasn’t a smile like the winning display of a pinball machine, but it was something perhaps even more amazing. It was smile that was literally made of light.
“You know…you should smile more.” He found himself saying.
Rimmer looked as though he was about to answer, when his head snapped to attention and his expression abruptly clouded over. “Lister. We have to turn around.” He said tersely, tugging on Lister’s arm.
“But we’re almost-“Lister turned to see what had made Rimmer lose his nerve. Several yards forward, the wooden planks rotted away, and a transparent wall of noxious greens and blues rose high into the nonexistent dark sky. A feeling of dread and nausea overtook him the longer he stared at the slowly swirling patterns of murky color. “Smeggin’ hell, what is that?” he choked, turning away to face the shadows.
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no subject
Date: 2008-04-15 02:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-17 04:10 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-15 03:34 am (UTC)Aww...Lovely line.
More Rimmer Mind Sickness (TM) looming!
no subject
Date: 2008-04-17 04:11 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-19 02:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-04-19 03:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-02 11:53 am (UTC)OK, I squeed. Shamelessly. Those two lines are brilliant. So's the rest, I hasten to add, but those two...squee!
no subject
Date: 2009-01-04 05:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-21 03:41 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-09-21 08:34 pm (UTC)