[identity profile] hazeltea.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] reddwarfslash
Pairing: Lister/Rimmer
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Dwarf, and I do not profit from this. I just do this to amuse myself.


This comes after the following:
Function
Static
Love
Release
Reunited
Byway
Weaknesses
Trepidation
Awakening
Officers
The List
Aground





The Cat arched his back, his every muscle tensed and ready to unfurl, crouched low to the rocky, hard ground beneath him. The tall, weedy grass swayed in the cold wind, each blade bending in turn to the ones beside it. He watched. He waited. A break in the pattern of the movement at last, accompanied by the scent of prey on the wind. The rabbit turned its head, and had only a split second to comprehend the danger it was in before strong, sharp jaws were upon it, and it ceased to have any thought at all.

“Too slow, sucka.” grinned the Cat, as he retrieved a silk handkerchief from his breast pocket to wipe his mouth.
-------------------------------------------

“Why rabbits?” Kochanski asked, as she cobbled together the dry twigs she’d collected to build a fire.

“What d’you mean, why rabbits?” Lister asked. “It’s food, isn’t it?”

“I mean, it’s only rabbits. Think about it. We’ve been here for almost two weeks already, and I haven’t seen one bird, or been bitten by one bug. There’s no fish in that stream. All that’s here is plant life and rabbits, it’s not natural.”

Rimmer nodded. “It’s been terraformed. Maybe they just didn’t finish populating it, whoever they were.”

“But why would they start with rabbits? Wouldn’t they start with insects, or something a bit lower on the food chain?” Kochanski’s brow furrowed in thought.

Lister shrugged. He surveyed the landscape in the distance, thoughtfully.

Kryten emerged from Starbug, carrying a plate of neatly cubed meat. “Where’s the rest of it?” Lister asked, as the mechanoid slid the meat into a frying pan to cook over the fire.

“It wasn’t a very large rabbit, Sir.” Kryten replied, apologetically. “I do have some dandelion salad to round out the meal.”

Lister shook his head. “I’m gonna pretend I didn’t just hear that. Anyway, I meant the rest of it, as in the pelt. I’m saving them.”

“I buried it,” Kryten replied, matter of factly. “Miss Kochanski would be disturbed by the remains, and I don’t want it to attract maggots.”

Kochanski eyed the sizzling meat hungrily. She had initially turned down meals of rabbit stew, rabbit stir fry, rabbit pie, and rabbit roast, but a week of nothing but foliage and stale water biscuits had made her feel faint, and irrationally angry at everything and everyone around her. So now, she devoured the meals, doing her best to not look any of the rabbits she saw around the clearing in the eye. “I appreciate the gesture, but I don’t think there are any maggots here anyway.”

“Is that so.” Rimmer smirked into his cup of tea, but Lister didn’t notice. His eyes were on the horizon again.

“What are you saving them for?” Cat asked. “I want the white ones for a coat. You can have the ugly grayish ones.”

Lister sat beside the fire. “Insulation.” He said. “More than coats, you know, blankets, maybe something to block the drafts… you can have some for your closet next year, once we have enough.”

“Next… year?” Rimmer asked, incredulously, setting down his mug.

“We can’t be here that long, can we?” Kochanski added, worry creasing her brow.

“It seems like the most likely scenario, Ma’am.” Kryten replied brusquely, dishing a steaming pile of rare rabbit into her bowl.

“I’m going to make a hat, too.” Cat interjected. “Last week, I caught two long haired ones. If I get two more, that’s matching cuffs.” He held out his arm, admiring the imagined drape of his handiwork.

“A year.” Rimmer repeated, grimly, staring at Lister in mild disbelief. “That’s your current estimate?”

“Well, no, not really.” Lister murmured. “My current estimate is a hundred years, give or take a few decades.” There was silence as he squirmed under the cold scrutiny of two sets of green tinged eyes. He lowered his gaze and took a large bite of rabbit leg. For a long time, the cracking of the fire is all that saved him from an awful silence.

Date: 2008-12-30 04:48 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] queen-fiend.livejournal.com
It's a good thing they're eating rabbit and not some man they found! :P The Cat bits in this were perfect. :) I can't wait to see where this is going next!

Date: 2008-12-30 01:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tits-teapot.livejournal.com
Rabbits! Yummy yummy! Cat's funny:D.
You can have the ugly grayish ones.
I'm sure Listy could have another deerstalher hat!

Date: 2009-01-01 03:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sadera992.livejournal.com
very fuuny little chapter! cat's great in a crisis - if he has things to make clothes from he's happy!

Love love love

Date: 2009-01-01 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cassiopeia13.livejournal.com
I love this! I want mooooo~ooooore. The cat parts were so funny. Poor Listy, being the one to know that they're most likely not going to get off the planet.

Very weird about the planet though. Can't wait to see what you have in store for them.

Date: 2009-01-02 12:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dock-leaf.livejournal.com
You know, I never imagined the Cat being able to hunt with anything other than a small plastic fishing rod, but now that you've mentioned it, it's a rather disturbingly hot image...

And rabbits? Why rabbits? Why, I ask you??

Date: 2009-01-07 10:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] fearcat.livejournal.com
oh I so love this story :) please do more soon

Date: 2009-01-07 12:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kahvi.livejournal.com
I am really enjoying this series, you know. I know I don't say it often enough.

I like the double set of green tinged eyes. Both how you've written it, and the fact that you're pointing it out (and the subtle implications).

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