reddwarfslash | Fic: Lovers (NC-17)

Title: Lovers
Pairing: Lister and Kochanski 1; hints of UST Lister/Rimmer
Warning: HET. I wrote this on request and feel a little awkward posting it in a slash com.Sorry guys :o Also NC-17. Written for

kahvi
Disclaimer: I don't own Red Dwarf, and I do not profit from this. I just do this to amuse myself.

“Are you sure it’s okay?” Kochanski asked, still giggling tipsily as she clung to Lister’s arm.

“’Course it is.” He assured her. He led her into the room he shared with Rimmer, vacant for the time being. Lister had made a valiant effort to tidy up. He’d brought out his garbage and cleared out the assortment of abandoned food and drink, congealed to cups and curry tins. He’d even changed his sheets. Next to Rimmer’s impossibly tidy décor, however, it still looked hopeless.

Rimmer was even tidier than Tim, she reflected. The thought of the other man brought a sudden sour note to her stomach, and she pushed it away at once. She refused to let him control her thoughts any longer. She was with Dave now, having fun, going to bed with an unlikely, charming man. Tim had accused her of being clingy, of needing him too much. She’d felt doubly insulted by his accusation, finding fault in her character to justify the bra she’d discovered in his shower room. She knew that she wasn’t clingy, of all things. She was a strong, independent woman, living her own life light years from home. If only she felt that way more often.

Dave had always flirted with her. When she was red eyed and miserable on Thursday night, he had brought her dinner and kept her company. On Monday she’d gone to bed with him. It wasn’t like her to do this, but somehow it seemed okay, this crazy, comforting, utterly different affair seemed to invite freedom. Still, she has some reservations.

“What about your bunkmate?” she asked, nervously.

“He’s gone to Love Celibates meeting, won’t be back for yonks.” He replied, drunkenly climbing up the bunks.

Kochanski laughed despite herself. “Don’t be so horrible to him.” She scolded.

“Horrible?” Lister asked. “It’s true! He-“ Lister’s words were cut sort as he lost his footing and tumbled down from the bunk, yelping as he pulled his duvet with him, which fell on her. “Sorry.” He said, sheepishly. They looked each other in the eyes and laughed. “Okay, you first, I’ll spot you.” Lister helped her climb up safely before attempting the ascent again. He landed squarely on top of her, knocking the wind from her chest. Her cheeks flushed, and she reached her arms up, twining them behind his neck as she leaned into a deep kiss. “Smeggin’ hell, Krissie, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.” He mumbled. She kissed him in reply, urging him out of his leather jacket. His hands were under her shirt now, pulling off her bra with a practiced skill, kneading her breasts gently.

She fumbled with his belt, tugging at his clothing to suggest that he do something about it. Somehow it felt wrong, perhaps a bit trashy, to make love with most of your clothes on. Lister took the hint, pulling back long enough to pull his shirt over his head and shimmy out of his pants. He unbuttoned her uniform, and stared at her for a moment with a look that was somewhere between appreciation and downright awe. She looked away, shyly, and began to search for the crumpled paper bag containing the condoms they had bought last week. “I got it.” He said, as he unwrapped a foil square. She watched him, distantly wondering how many women he’d been with, and if he’d made them all feel special. He was awfully good at all of these little mechanics, o she reasoned that he must have quite a bit of practice.

“Now.” He grinned. The happiness in his eyes was contagious, and she giggled again as he took her in his arms and pressed close. Her breath hitched as she felt him enter her, and heard him sigh contently. She wrapped a leg around him as they moved, agreeing on a mutual rhythm. She bit her lip, and Lister kissed her forehead. “It’s okay to make some noise, Krissie.” He murmured.

“Shh.” She replied, a little embarrassed. She pushed herself closer to distract him.

“I got a surprise.” Lister said, suddenly, breaking the rhythm. She let out a whine of protest, shocked that anything could distract him from their act. “I forgot I bought this. I mean, I was too drunk to remember. I think.” He laughed. She was about to ask what he was going on about, when she felt a buzzing, electric energy between her legs, guided by his thumb. Oh.

The vibration caused her to yelp, to trust out her legs in involuntary response. The bunk shook with her sudden movement, and she was dimly aware of the sound of the multicolored magnets of Rimmer’s revision timetable scattering from the wall. Lister was moving again, and she let out a loud, drawn out groan as she came, still clinging feverishly to him as he followed.

He kissed her, and clutched her close to his chest. “Krissie.” He mumbled, contently.

“Hmm?” she asked, winding his long locks through hr fingers.

“Thought I could make ya scream.” He grinned.

“I don’t scream.” She said, huffily, a blush closing her cheeks.

“I noticed.” Lister chuckled. “You sorta, I don’ know, ‘grEEEEEAAAAPPpppph’, or something.” He imitated her, rolling his eyes back in lust. She hit him with a pillow. “Creep.” She declared, playfully squirming out of arm’s reach.

He pulled her back with a smile. “Why don’t ya stay here tonight?” he asked, sleepily.

“I can’t.” she replied. “Rimmer…”

“Forget tha’…” He yawned, but she seemed unconvinced.

“I’ll stay for a little bit.” She compromised, curling up against his side. She didn’t have to wait long, he was snoring within ten minutes. Somewhat guiltily, she slipped from the top bunk, standing on tiptoes to place a small kiss on his lips before dressing, and self consciously disposing of the condom.

“Lights!”

Lister groaned as his retinas were burned by the glare of fluorescent lamps. He felt beside him, but Kochanski had gone. Instead, he saw Rimmer, an expression somewhere between enraged and horrified plastered across his face.

“If you’re going to use our room as a bathroom stall in the back of a seedy motel’s karaoke bar, and make it smell just slightly fresher, the least you can do is put on some pants before I get back.” Rimmer said, haughtily, glaring at Lister .

“I fell asleep.” Lister yawned. “You weren’t in, what do you care? I wouldn’t care if you brought girls back here.” He added.

“So you could watch?” Rimmer asked, his tone icy. “Some of us are a bit classier than that, miladdio. Besides, I’m above all of your silly romantic hogwash. She’s an officer, Lister. She’s too good for you and you know it. I guarantee that that woman will break your heart.” Rimmer sounded a little too happy about the prospect, and Lister grimaced.

“Smeg off, Rimmer.” He grumbled.

“Put on some pants.” Rimmer replied, tersely, making an effort to meet Lister’s eyes to enforce his glare, while pointedly not looking at his penis, which lay against his bare thigh. The effect, Lister thought, was somewhat comical.

“Come off it, Rimmer. You’re just sore that I’m such a catch. Officers can’t keep their hands off me.” He smirked.

“You got lucky once.” Rimmer replied, biting his lip as his eyes did that odd dance between Lister, the floor, and in no way whatsoever his penis.

Lister laughed. “Just admit that I’m sex on legs.”

Rimmer snarled, and Lister could swear that he could see his skin crawling. “Over my dead body.” He spat, storming out of the room.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

laurenthemself

Oddly enough this makes me want to write Todhunter/Lister. It's the 'Officers can't keep their hands off me' line.

'...no way whatsoever his penis' cracked me up.