Fic: Alone (PG-13)
Jan. 13th, 2009 11:36 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
hazeltea.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
reddwarfslashPairing: Ace/Lister
Disclaimer: I make no money, and yet I can't stop. I have no legal claim on Red Dwarf.
Lister lay with his back to Ace’s chest, feeling somewhat shy and embarrassed. He’d never felt so needy, so helpless to control his own emotions before. It scared him. It made him angry, it made him miserable, it made him feel utterly pathetic. He bit his lip, attempting to push away the nagging feeling that Ace hadn’t just taken advantage of him, he had taken advantage of Ace. Ace was the sort of guy that went out of his way to make people feel good, and Lister knew he was probably the biggest pity fuck he’d ever had.
One of the most horrifying things about his predicament was how much he wanted sex lately, wanted it in an almost single minded way- well, maybe not so single minded, he craved curries and lager and cream cheese and olive sandwiches, as well. Craving of one sort or another had driven his existence for months, now. Sex was pretty high on the list. He craved it almost as much as he craved companionship. He pressed a little closer to Ace’s hard light form, and exhaled a sigh that sounded half like a whimper.
Ace’s hand cradled his stomach, and Lister wished he wouldn’t touch it, hated the self conscious feeling the attention to it brought, although it was so large that Ace would notice it even if he hadn’t been touching him, hell, even if Ace had been blind. As if on cue, Lister felt movement inside of him, a shifting followed by a sharp kick that resonated through his flesh as a faint thud. Ace’s lips pressed against his neck.
“Would that be Jim or Bexley?” he murmured, his fingers closing protectively over his middle.
“Jim.” Lister whispered. He didn’t know how he knew. He just did.
Ace chuckled. “Strong lad.”
There was something about Ace that made you trust him; something that made Lister feel safe and certain, and not utterly alone save for the life growing inside of him. In the morning, Ace would be gone, and Lister would be alone. He eyed the clock on the bedside. Less than five hours, and Ace would be gone. Four hours and forty-one minutes. He’d be alone with skutters to cut him open to deliver the twins. He’d be alone with Cat, who broke into gales of laughter whenever Lister waddled about, balancing his burden on newly smooth, hairless legs. Alone. Utterly smegging alone.
“Can I come with you?” Lister’s voice was small and uncertain, and he wondered how he’d ever managed to ask. Already he felt stupid.
There was a moment of awkward silence. “With me?” Ace asked. “I don’t think that’s such a great idea, Skipper.” He said, gently. “It’s dangerous.”
Lister nodded, disappointed, although he knew that Ace was right. He couldn’t put the twins in danger. He silently cursed the hormone injections that made him feel teary at the gentle rejection. He coughed instead. “It’s just… the boys, you know. Someone like you would be great with them. I don’t know if I’m good enough to do it alone.”
“You aren’t alone.” Ace reassured him, giving him a tight squeeze that made the twins swim back in protest.
“I might as well be!” Lister grumbled. “Rimmer and the skutters and Cat…” Surely he didn’t need to finish that sentence. Even Ace could understand how awful that would be.
Ace was quiet for a moment, and then took Lister’s hand. “Make me a promise and I’ll make one to you.” He said, carefully. Lister nodded, uncertainly, turning to face Ace with a trace of worry in his expression.
“Yeah, I guess I can do that.” He mumbled.
“Give Rimmer a chance.” He said, flatly. Lister recoiled involuntarily, his eyebrows knitting together in an incredulous expression, as though Ace had suggested a steady diet of cockroaches. Ace gave him a stern look in return, and lifted his chin so that Lister looked him in the eyes. “That’s the deal. Give him more than once chance, in fact. Don’t give up on him, and you and the twins won’t ever be alone. I can promise that, on my honor.”
“Your honor’s one thing, it’s Rimmer’s I don’t trust.” He grumbled. A flicker of annoyance registered in Ace’s hazel eyes, and he kissed Lister roughly. Lister leaned into it, gasping for breath as they separated.
“He’d die for those boys. Again. He’d die a hundred times.” Ace growled, and then, just as suddenly as it came, the tense moment passed. Ace sighed, looking tired.
“He wouldn’t though.” Lister said, quietly. “He’s not you.”
“Lister…” It was hard to read Ace. He looked less confident than usual, exasperated, pleading and altogether exhausted at once. This, combined with the fact that Lister had no choice in the outcome of the situation, made him yield.
“Okay.” Lister replied, quietly. “I’ll do it, but he doesn’t care. He just pretends he does to drive me bonkers. The diet and the safety devices and the … everything. Absolutely everything he’s done since I found out.” That seemed to be enough for Ace. He nodded, and Lister leaned against his chest, savoring the dwindling minutes with someone who truly cared.
Disclaimer: I make no money, and yet I can't stop. I have no legal claim on Red Dwarf.
Lister lay with his back to Ace’s chest, feeling somewhat shy and embarrassed. He’d never felt so needy, so helpless to control his own emotions before. It scared him. It made him angry, it made him miserable, it made him feel utterly pathetic. He bit his lip, attempting to push away the nagging feeling that Ace hadn’t just taken advantage of him, he had taken advantage of Ace. Ace was the sort of guy that went out of his way to make people feel good, and Lister knew he was probably the biggest pity fuck he’d ever had.
One of the most horrifying things about his predicament was how much he wanted sex lately, wanted it in an almost single minded way- well, maybe not so single minded, he craved curries and lager and cream cheese and olive sandwiches, as well. Craving of one sort or another had driven his existence for months, now. Sex was pretty high on the list. He craved it almost as much as he craved companionship. He pressed a little closer to Ace’s hard light form, and exhaled a sigh that sounded half like a whimper.
Ace’s hand cradled his stomach, and Lister wished he wouldn’t touch it, hated the self conscious feeling the attention to it brought, although it was so large that Ace would notice it even if he hadn’t been touching him, hell, even if Ace had been blind. As if on cue, Lister felt movement inside of him, a shifting followed by a sharp kick that resonated through his flesh as a faint thud. Ace’s lips pressed against his neck.
“Would that be Jim or Bexley?” he murmured, his fingers closing protectively over his middle.
“Jim.” Lister whispered. He didn’t know how he knew. He just did.
Ace chuckled. “Strong lad.”
There was something about Ace that made you trust him; something that made Lister feel safe and certain, and not utterly alone save for the life growing inside of him. In the morning, Ace would be gone, and Lister would be alone. He eyed the clock on the bedside. Less than five hours, and Ace would be gone. Four hours and forty-one minutes. He’d be alone with skutters to cut him open to deliver the twins. He’d be alone with Cat, who broke into gales of laughter whenever Lister waddled about, balancing his burden on newly smooth, hairless legs. Alone. Utterly smegging alone.
“Can I come with you?” Lister’s voice was small and uncertain, and he wondered how he’d ever managed to ask. Already he felt stupid.
There was a moment of awkward silence. “With me?” Ace asked. “I don’t think that’s such a great idea, Skipper.” He said, gently. “It’s dangerous.”
Lister nodded, disappointed, although he knew that Ace was right. He couldn’t put the twins in danger. He silently cursed the hormone injections that made him feel teary at the gentle rejection. He coughed instead. “It’s just… the boys, you know. Someone like you would be great with them. I don’t know if I’m good enough to do it alone.”
“You aren’t alone.” Ace reassured him, giving him a tight squeeze that made the twins swim back in protest.
“I might as well be!” Lister grumbled. “Rimmer and the skutters and Cat…” Surely he didn’t need to finish that sentence. Even Ace could understand how awful that would be.
Ace was quiet for a moment, and then took Lister’s hand. “Make me a promise and I’ll make one to you.” He said, carefully. Lister nodded, uncertainly, turning to face Ace with a trace of worry in his expression.
“Yeah, I guess I can do that.” He mumbled.
“Give Rimmer a chance.” He said, flatly. Lister recoiled involuntarily, his eyebrows knitting together in an incredulous expression, as though Ace had suggested a steady diet of cockroaches. Ace gave him a stern look in return, and lifted his chin so that Lister looked him in the eyes. “That’s the deal. Give him more than once chance, in fact. Don’t give up on him, and you and the twins won’t ever be alone. I can promise that, on my honor.”
“Your honor’s one thing, it’s Rimmer’s I don’t trust.” He grumbled. A flicker of annoyance registered in Ace’s hazel eyes, and he kissed Lister roughly. Lister leaned into it, gasping for breath as they separated.
“He’d die for those boys. Again. He’d die a hundred times.” Ace growled, and then, just as suddenly as it came, the tense moment passed. Ace sighed, looking tired.
“He wouldn’t though.” Lister said, quietly. “He’s not you.”
“Lister…” It was hard to read Ace. He looked less confident than usual, exasperated, pleading and altogether exhausted at once. This, combined with the fact that Lister had no choice in the outcome of the situation, made him yield.
“Okay.” Lister replied, quietly. “I’ll do it, but he doesn’t care. He just pretends he does to drive me bonkers. The diet and the safety devices and the … everything. Absolutely everything he’s done since I found out.” That seemed to be enough for Ace. He nodded, and Lister leaned against his chest, savoring the dwindling minutes with someone who truly cared.
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Date: 2009-01-14 06:21 am (UTC)I have a feeling this fic is going to keep running through my head tomorrow. ;)
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Date: 2009-01-14 12:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 11:39 am (UTC)Your last few stories have been exceptionally excellent. It's almost scary. Almost. :)
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Date: 2009-01-14 12:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 12:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 12:37 pm (UTC)I think the Ace in SMAC is a little different than the other ones, because he lived his whole adult life as Ace, while the ones that came after him lived as Rimmer for three million thirty one-odd years, so they might be a little bit more Arn. I think in that case it's more of a learned hatred fueled by embarrassment, looking back on yourself like oh my God, was I ever like THAT? I wish I could go back in time and smack myself around!
But I digress.
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Date: 2009-01-14 12:49 pm (UTC)...erm... I think about these things too much; we thought a lot about this while writing Breaking the Chain.
It's such a fun universe; it practically begs for fic. Infinite perversity through infinite diversity, as ASCEM (http://members.tripod.com/TSU_Campus/ASCEML/) puts it. ;)
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Date: 2009-01-14 12:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 12:54 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 03:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 03:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 10:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 03:55 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 10:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 05:32 pm (UTC)Just thought I'd let you know :)
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Date: 2009-01-14 10:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 10:58 pm (UTC)If you were to do more, it would make me massively happy! I've loved all of your fics :D
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Date: 2009-01-15 03:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 03:28 am (UTC)And I love your icon, btw!
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Date: 2009-01-14 10:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-14 08:14 pm (UTC)Huh, I think this comment is smegging incomprehensible, I hope you understand *blushes*, my english is still so crazy^^. I just wanted to say I really loved it, that's all:).
Give him more than once chance, in fact. Donât give up on him, and you and the twins wonât ever be alone. <3 oh my, I think I'm melted to death...
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Date: 2009-01-14 10:44 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-15 08:24 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 04:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-20 08:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-01-21 04:03 am (UTC)