reddwarfslash | Call Me Lister (PG-13)

This is a tiny little something to whet your appetite, as I'm still working on part 3 of my fic Proximity.

Title: Call Me Lister
Pairing: Lister/Ace, Lister/Rimmer
Rating: Probably PG or PG-13, it's not explicit, but VERY suggestive
Synopsis: Rimmer walks in on something rather questionable

Arnold heard his own voice coming from the quarters up ahead. That smegging ponce was invading his personal sanctuary as well? He pursed his lips tightly and stopped outside the door, angered that it was closed to him. This was his room, dammit, and no one – not even an alternate version of himself – had the right to bar his entry to his own room.

He heard Lister’s chuckle through the door and Ace’s rounded laugh. He scowled, and listened closer. Muffled words and the sound of…a scuffle? What on Io was going on?

The door continued to ignore his presence, it must be locked. Irritated, he deigned to stick his head through and give them a good telling-off.

The other side of the door held a room in total darkness. There were shadows moving on the lower bunk –his bunk!—and noises that betrayed rhythm and exertion. He opened his mouth to announce his entrance upon these sordid affairs when his name was gasped in a guttural way he’d never heard before.

“…Rimmer…”

Arnold pulled his head back through the door, stunned. That one word had affected him profoundly. To think Lister had said his name in such a…an adoring, erotic sort of way. To think that his body now responded to it altogether too readily.

He wanted, no needed, to peek again. He did so.

“…Dave,” said his own voice from across the room.

“…Call…me…Lister,” said the Scouser, between moans of pleasure.

Ace gave a half-hearted chuckle.

“Lister…,” he paused for a gasp, “…yes, Lister…”

The movements became faster, punctuated with fewer words, until…

“Rimmer…Rimmer…”

“….Yes, Lister?”

“Tell me…tell…me…you’re gonna write me up…in your…little book…”

Ace let out a breath that might have been a laugh if he weren’t exerting himself so much at that moment.

“…You’re going to be written up for this, Lister…”

That did it. The two hit their climax, Ace following Lister into that sweetest of abysses.

“Oh, God! Rimmer! God…yes…oh, smeg, yes!”

“…Spanners!...Lister…Lister…”

The movements ceased, and then tired giggles were shared with what sounded like kisses.

“I don’t suppose either of us was thinking about the other just then. Still, it was magnificent. No hard feelings, eh, Davey boy?”

“None at all, Ace. I needed that.”

“I think we both did, Skipper.”

Arnold exited fully into the hallway, disturbed and painfully turned-on. He would need to figure out how to process this new information about Lister. He would need to make sure his bed was thoroughly cleaned before he slept in it again. He would need to resurrect the use of his hologramatic notebook to document Lister’s sleights against him (would it have that kind of a reaction?). But firstly he needed to find a smegging private room to relieve this unbearable tension below the waist.