Fic: The End

[writethebeauty.livejournal.com]

Greetings all! Just joined this delightful little community a couple of days ago and I'm having a ball going through and reading all the stories. I had the idea a little while ago for a series of fics tracking the evolution of Rimmer and Lister's relationship, with each part relating to a piece of dialogue from a particular episode. I've finally gotten around to starting it so I nervously present my first contribution to my favourite fandom:

Title: The End
Pairing: eventual Lister/Rimmer
Rating: G
Summary: Rimmer's thoughts just after Lister has explained his plan to move to Fiji.
Disclaimer: I do not own Red Dwarf. I promise I will give them back when I've finished with them.

The End

“Lister, you’ve got the brain of a cheese sandwich”

He’s met dozens of Listers before. Uneducated, unmotivated and undisciplined slobs who joined up expecting an easy ride; just a quick couple of months getting paid to bum around in space and then they’d be off to a better life. Lister was no different. From the moment he’d stepped into their shared quarters Rimmer had know that this one, just like all the others, was destined for failure. What Rimmer couldn’t understand was why the failures always ended up rooming with him. Was it too much to ask that just once he had a roommate that was as focused and driven as he was? A quiet man, like him, determined to reach the top. They could revise together, test each other, exercise together and stay up late discussing their hopes and dreams as together they rose through the ranks of the Space Corp. Actually, scratch that last part; it sounded a bit too gay for Rimmer’s liking.

But what had he got? A foulmouthed, immature Liverpudlian with an inane grin and the worst personal hygiene it had ever been Rimmer’s misfortune to witness. Rimmer had hated him at first sight and his opinion had only gone downhill from there. In the months since Lister had joined up he had made no attempt to better his position on the ship nor did he show any inclination of ever doing so. He was quite content to dwell at the very bottom of the barrel with his other no-hope friends. He had no respect for Rimmer’s authority, his privacy or his feelings. He insisted on “playing” that stupid instrument at all hours of the day or night. He made countless jokes at Rimmer’s expense. He made more friends in his first week than Rimmer had amassed in his 14 years. But worst of all he was a smegging optimist. It didn’t seem to matter how bad the situation, Lister would just smile, and whistle, and hope for the best. Nothing ever seemed to get him down. It wasn’t just his unshakeable belief that everything would be okay in the end; it was his misguided faith in the innate goodness in people. It was pathetic really, and hopelessly naive. Clearly Lister had never known true hardship; he’d obviously never suffered as Rimmer had. If he had, he’d know better than to hope. Either that or he really was as stupid as he looked.

Rimmer’s only comfort was the knowledge that one day Lister would inevitably wake up and realise how utterly absurd his dream really was. He’d have to face the fact that he would more than likely spend the rest of his days on board this stupid smegging ship. And on that day Rimmer would smile knowingly, secure in the knowledge that whatever his faults may be, at least he wasn’t an idealistic idiot with no handle on reality. If Rimmer’s disparaging remarks helped Lister come to that realisation sooner well so much the better. At the end of the day he was doing the other man a favour. 

Comments

[laurenthemself]

I don't think you have to promise to return them; by sheer volume of fanfic output I think we actually have more ownership than Grant Naylor by now... ah, if only it worked like that.

I really like this as a look at just how bitter Rimmer can be. I laughed at the Actually, scratch that last part; it sounded a bit too gay for Rimmer’s liking. line, especially considering which comm this is in.

Welcome to the comm and the fandom, and I look forward to seeing more of your work!

[writethebeauty.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

^__^

[dauphkantus.livejournal.com]

That was quite amusing, and a good analysis of Rimmer- I can't wait to see the other parts as you go through (especially after Parallel Universe and Kryten).

I loved the last paragraph- I couldn't help but chuckle when I read it.

So, with a slice of cheesecake *offers*, Welcome to the comm!

Re: ^__^

[writethebeauty.livejournal.com]

*gladly accepts cheesecake* Yummy :)

The last paragraph was actually the part that came to me first and then I had to find a context where it would work.

Thanks for the welcome.

[the-summoning-d.livejournal.com]

Your fic makes me happy ^^ You have provided an excellent distraction from the assignment I have due in three hours, for which I thank you. Brilliant fic :D I hope to see more of your work soon

[writethebeauty.livejournal.com]

That's funny...writing the fic distracted me from the assignment I was supposed to be working on.

[the-summoning-d.livejournal.com]

A plan with no drawbacks ;D

[tsukinobun.livejournal.com]

My favorite line was the one about Lister amassing more friends in one week than Rimmer has in 14 years on board. So true.
:( Poor Rimsy.

Really like the snidey inner voice. Can't wait to read more!

Welcome aboard, Skipper.

[writethebeauty.livejournal.com]

Ah yes, poor lonley Arnie J.

I'm working on more this very minute.

[writethebeauty.livejournal.com]

I had no idea it had kept my font from Word. It has been my experience in the past that Livejournal defaulted to a sans-serif for entries. Anyway, I will gladly post using sans-serif next time :)

[queen-fiend.livejournal.com]

This is great; you've really got Rimmer's voice down. I'm looking forward to seeing where you go with this for the other episodes!

Actually, scratch that last part; it sounded a bit too gay for Rimmer’s liking. That line made me giggle. :)