reddwarfslash | And now for part 2....

.... silly LiveJournal

The room was deathly still and the Scouser wondered whether Cat was really telling the truth, that is until he saw a familiar figure tucked into the corner of the bunk, knees drawn up to his chest, arms wrapped around himself as though trying to protect himself from something and his head rested against the wall, his eyes were closed but a strange look of both fear and pain clouded his facial features. All in all, the position didn’t look particularly comfortable and Lister slowly moved towards the hologram.

He didn’t want to wake him up just yet. Instead he leaned in close, simply studying the other man’s face, his brows furrowed as he tried to figure out what Rimmer could be dreaming about that would cause that type of expression. Though, strangely enough, it wasn’t first time Lister had seen that particular look on his bunkmate’s face. There had a been a fair few nights during which Lister had been woken up by a loud rustling and stressed moaning.

It had begun soon after Lister had woken up from stasis, he’d heard those noises in what he could only assume was the middle of night, you could never be too sure in deep space, and just when he decided he’d had enough and had leaned over the edge of the bed, ready to tell Rimmer and his hand to keep it down, he’d noticed that look. A look that just exuded pain and anguish and it had scared him. He could have never asked Rimmer what was wrong. He knew the other man too well, the only thing Lister would get in response would be some cock-and-bull rule about how inferior technicians shouldn’t pry into their superiors private lives.

Now, however, Lister wasn’t so sure if he could keep himself quiet about it. Taking another deep breath, and then releasing it slowly, he reached out his hand; gently placing it on the other mans hard-light shoulder. In less than a second Rimmer was wide-eyed, awake and looking more than a little startled. He didn’t even need to breathe and yet his chest was rising and falling rapidly. The sight of it was even scarier to Lister than the sight of the other man on Rimmerworld, under the blanket, looking confused and slightly scared. Now, he looked panicked, shaky and just about ready to have a mental breakdown,

“Rimmer?” The Scouser called gently, waiting as patiently as he could for the other man to calm down, “Rimmer, it’s just me”

Finally, panicked eyes met his own, “Listy?” his voice was like nothing Lister had heard from him before, it sounded small, scared. He sounded fragile, which was something Lister hadn’t anticipated. Then again, when he first met Rimmer, Lister hadn’t anticipated forming an attraction to the smeghead,

“Yeah, yeah it’s me” Lister searched the other man’s eyes for any indication of recognition, something that would let Lister know if the hologram was back in the real world. The eyes looked back down again,

“What are you doing here?” He asked, refusing the look-up and meet the other man’s eyes,

“What am I doing here?” Lister replied, a rather shocked tone laced his words, “Rimmer, man, you do realise that this is my room right?”

This statement cause the other man to look up again, a bewildered look crossed over his feature, “Oh” came the simply reply, “Sorry” he mumbled afterwards, before starting to move himself off of the bunk,

“Wait, man…” Lister paused when Rimmer stopped moving, the hologram’s eyebrows were furrowed indicating that he clearly wasn’t in any mood to talk, still, being known to never give up, the Liverpudlian carried on, “You wanna tell me what’s up?”

The eyebrows furrowed even more, though this time more out of anger than confusion, nostrils flared as his lips pursed together, he jumped up to his feet and Lister was suddenly reminded of who it actually was he was dealing with,

“What’s up?” Rimmer’s voice rose in pitch, as it was known to do when he was either shocked or angry, this time, having gone up a few more pitches, he appeared to be feeling both emotions, “I spend 557 years locked in a prison, with only a couple of cockroaches to keep me company, while every now and then one of my ever-so-friendly clones decided that beating me around a little might prevent his own boredom, and you ask me ‘what’s up?’” Rimmer’s chest heaved with the extent of the frustration and anger that had come out of him. Lister simply sat there, looking somewhat shocked at the sudden out-pouring of emotions. However, he couldn’t get one thing that Rimmer had just yelled at him out of his mind,

“They beat you?” He kicked himself for asking it, but he just couldn’t help it. Rimmer turned his wide eyes away, refusing to look anywhere near Lister’s current vicinity,

“Yes” He whispered, still looking at the floor. Lister began to get up from the bed. This movement cause the other man’s eyes to snap back up quickly and fix Lister with a deathly glare, “Don’t you dare get up now, how about I leave you alone, alright?” Lister vaguely wondered if that would be counted as pleading, but he didn’t dwell on it, instead he was trying to think of ways to comfort the clearly distressed hologram,

“Rimmer, don’t run away now, I want to help you” The Liverpudlian said, still inching closer to the other man, who appeared to be weighing up his options of staying and listening to the other man, or leaving and being left to dwell on his own misery. His lips were pursed, nostrils flaring in frustration, panic and annoyance and Lister found his own frustration at the situation building up inside of him. However, unlike Rimmer, Lister had always found it very hard to keep quiet about his own emotions, “Smegging hell, Rimmer, what is wrong with you?” His accent growing stronger as he grew more annoyed at pretty much everything around him. He’d almost forgotten that, despite his attraction to the hologram, he was still a smeggy git with a list of foibles as long as Lister’s own arm,

“What on Io do you mean?” Rimmer still had that ridiculous look on his face, only now he was desperately trying to mask it with a look of confusion, “I’m perfectly fine. Fit as a fiddle you could say…”

“Oh, either smeg off right now Rimmer or stop lying” Lister interrupted him, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. He hadn’t quite thought of the consequences of trying to find out what was wrong with a conscious Rimmer. One of those consequences appeared to be an underlying headache, beginning just behind his eyes, “We both know you’re not ‘fit as a fiddle’” He mocked, looking back up at the hologram,

“And, pray tell, how would you know how I am then?” Rimmer asked, sarcasm laced every word, the typical smarmy gittiness that hung around Rimmer appeared to be wanting to make another entrance,

Lister found that he didn’t quite know how to respond to that statement, “I dunno…” He trailed off somewhat, “Well, you haven’t said more than two words of any of us since you’ve been back” The whole sentence was a mumbled cluster of barely audible words and Rimmer struggled to make any sense of it, though after years in deep space with the Liverpudlian slob, the hologram found that he could translate to words into recognisable English,

“Oh” He stated, clapping his hands together, “I suppose that not wanting to talk to a creature that favours fashion to preservation of life, a sanitation droid who couldn’t care any less about me if he tried and… well… you” Rimmer sighed slightly, “Does this mean there is anything wrong with me?” He paused for a brief second, “No, no it does not”

“There’s a reason you need an outsiders opinion though Rimmer!” Lister nearly shouted at him, frustration and annoyance reaching an all-time high, “You don’t know what you look like when you’re asleep do you?” The question had an obvious answer and Rimmer didn’t even bother replying, instead he just stood there, still as a statue. A look of mild panic, different to the look before, crossed over his features, his eyebrows furrowed as his entire posture stiffened,

“What are you talking about?” His voice had reached a dangerous low tone and Lister wasn’t even sure if he wanted to continue, but, not being the pessimistic type, he carried on anyway,

“I’m talking about the nights during which I wake up to find you in a state of terror and panic while you’re asleep” That statement seemed to suck every noise out of the room, the only audible noises were the heavy breaths coming from both men. It seemed like a lifetime before either one of the spoke, and surprisingly enough it was Rimmer that broke the uncomfortable silence,

“Don’t you dare” He said, his voice still in that dangerous low zone,

“What…” Lister began, soon being interrupted by the other man,

“Don’t you dare even try to pretend that you were worried” He said, his eyes never leaving Lister’s “Don’t even try to tell me that you cared about me. If you want to play pretend then be my guest, but don’t do it near me”

“Rimmer…”

“Shut up!” The hologram shouted suddenly, his eyes alight with rage, before he dropped the volume of his voice again “Just shut up. I know what you’ll do” He said, turning away slightly, “You’ll pity me won’t you” He sighed, “And I’ll have to spend the rest of my… well… existence dealing with that pathetic pitying look and it’ll just make me sick.” Rimmer turned further away from the Scouser, who seemed to be frozen, mouth gaping slightly, “Just, leave me alone…” He opened the door, whispering on last word before marching off down the corridor “Please”

When he realised he was now alone Lister finally started moving properly again, the shock was still evident on his face. Eventually it passed, being replaced by a sudden determined look, “Sorry, Rimmer” he whispered to himself, “I’m afraid that’s just another order from you that I just can’t obey”