Ficcie

[broken-rook.livejournal.com]

Author: broken_rook

Title: You Wish

Pairing: Lister x Rimmer

Rating: G-PG

Warnings: The time line is screwed up a bit, so I suppose I'd say this is an A. U.

Summary: Holly finds an AR game called "You Wish" in which the players have 24 hours to fulfill a single wish.
Disclaimer & crap: Red Dwarf belongs to the great chaps Grant & Naylor who would probably hate me if they knew this existed. In fact, I’m sure you’ll all say it’s rubbish. Why? Because it really is. But I really don’t care.

Feedback=heroine for the soul. *winkwinknudgenudge*

You Wish

"I’m BORED." The human known as David Lister declared. He’d been beginning to wonder why he thought having Red Dwarf almost completely to himself was a good thing. No, he was past wondering. He was at the point where he was desperate for anything, anything to happen.

The hologram named Arnold J. Rimmer rolled his eyes. "Shut up you insufferable git. The rest of us are bored too, but you don’t hear us complaining." Rimmer put down his copy of "Napoleon—A Biography."

"Kryten’s got all the Cat’s laundry to do, he’s not bored." Lister muttered, taking a sip from his can of lager.

"Just shut—" the hologram got cut off by Holly’s cheerful if not just a little bit stoned sounding voice.

"Hope I’m not interrupting," she chirped, "but I’ve found something that might shake off the doldrums."

"What is it, Hol?" Lister looked at the floating head on the screen.

"It’s an AR game, called You Wish. Basically you go in there and have 24 hours to fulfill a singe wish, which is granted individually."

"Oh?" David looked interested. "Like what kind of wish?"

"Anything."

"So, if I wished to be on Fiji with a sheep and a cow and three horses, plus Kotchanski and Frankie, that wish would be granted?"

Rimmer snorted. He couldn’t believe that Lister still stuck to his ‘plan.’

"Yeah." The blonde head nodded.

"What about holograms? It is compatible with holograms, right?" Rimmer asked.

"I’m pretty sure. Yeah."

Lister raised an eyebrow. "I don’t even want to know what you’d wish for. Yvonne MacGruder, most likely." He shuddered.

Rimmer rolled his eyes again. "For your information,Listy, my wish would have nothing to do with Yvonne MacGruder." Not a thing.

"So I’ll tell Krtyen and the Cat, shall I?" Holly asked.

"Sure, we’ll make it a party." Lister jumped off his bunk. "Rec. room, 10 minutes."

****

In 10 minutes, the entire Red Dwarf crew [all 4 of them, 5 if you count Holly] were standing in the Recreation Room.

"Right. Who’s first? Or are we all going to go in at once?" Rimmer shot a sideways glance at Lister.

"Maybe we should go separately, in case something goes wrong." Kryten, the mother-hen warned.

"What do you mean ‘if something goes wrong?’ " Lister demanded.

"Nothing’s going to go wrong, I know what I’m doing." Holly said indignantly.

"That’s what I’m worried about." The Cat muttered.

"Come on, this isn’t your first AR game, now just shut up and go into the AR room so I can get you into the game!" Holly glared.

"Fine." Rimmer lead the way, followed Kryten, the Cat, and finally, Lister.

"All right. Let me go over one important thing. This is a one-time game, that is, once you play it, you can never play it again. So choose carefully." Holly said cheerfully, before hooking everyone into the game.

****

They were facing a large hooded figure, sitting on a high backed chair. The room was completely empty and there was only one exit. The figure looked at the four and spoke in a large booming voice. "Welcome to the AR game You Wish. There is only one rule. This is a one time game. Once you play it, you can never play it again. Your presence has been logged. You may wish for one thing, and one thing only. Choose carefully. Now, who’s first?"

Lister immediately pushed Rimmer to the front.

"I…uh…Me, of course." He spoke in his best authoritarian voice.

"Arnold J. Rimmer, what is your wish?" The voice boomed.

Rimmer glanced around. Everyone had vanished. "I…I wish to be able to tell the person I like how I feel without choking." Because I’m sick of being such a wuss.

"Your wish has been granted. You have twenty four hours to fulfill your wish, starting….NOW."

Rimmer blinked and then looked around. He found himself sitting on his bunk, with no one else in the room, holding ‘Napoleon—A Biography.’ "Well….uh…that was different."

"Next!" The faceless figure called. The remaining three glanced at each other.

"I’ll go…" Lister muttered and walked up to the figure.

"David Lister, what is your wish?"

"To know who my true love is or would be." He said confidently. Yes, he was absolutely sure it was Kotchanski. Sort of. Maybe… Shaking his head, trying to get rid of the feeling that he suddenly got, one that involved Rimmer, not Kotchanski, he nodded firmly. "That is my wish."

"Your wish has been granted. You have twenty four hours to fulfill your wish, starting…NOW."

Lister glanced around. He was lying on his bunk, a bowl of curry in his hand. Curry’s my true love? He mused, not noticing Rimmer sitting on his own bunk, ‘Napoleon--A Biography,’ in his hand.

****

 

Kryten had wished for all the laundry in the world to do, and the Cat wished for a lady cat, like him. Like that was surprising.

***

Meanwhile, in Lister’s & Rimmer’s sleeping quarters…

Rimmer coughed, making Lister jump. "Rimmer?! What are you doing here?!"

Rimmer looked up. "Ah…Lister…There’s something I need to tell you." He stood up to face Lister.

"Well go on then." Lister put down the bowl of curry and looked at him.

"I…uh…well." Rimmer paled. What’s wrong with me? I’m supposed to be able to tell him! But I’m choking up here!"

"Spit it out, Rimmer. I don’t have all day you know." I’m supposed to be finding me true love.

"Yes…well..Lister…I…I like you."

"You WHAT?!" Lister suddenly felt his face go hot. No no no! This is not what I wished for! I didn’t wish for Rimmer!…Did I?

"I like you," Rimmer repeated. "A lot." Well I’ve said it. And the real Lister doesn’t know, so I’m fine…

"This can’t be happening! No, this isn’t right!" Lister jumped down and started pacing. "I didn’t wish for this! This is so, so, so very wrong!" He looked up to see Rimmer staring at him. God, his eyes are so beautiful. Unlike my muddy brown ones—WHAT AM I THINKING?!

"What do you mean, this isn’t your wish?"

"I wished to know who my true love is…"

"Oh…" Rimmer sighed and stared at the floor, looking utterly dejected.

i

Lister’s mind was racing. Oh my god…My true love is this smeg head?! With his stupid attitude and his stupid flared nostrils and his stupid adorable little cheeky grin—oh god I’m going space crazy. I can’t be gay! A person just doesn’t go gay! Unless…true love is something that doesn’t have to do with gender…

"Lister?" Rimmer said softly. "I’m sorry…I know you probably feel so…so…"

"Shut up, Rimmer." Lister was standing in front of Rimmer, looking him over. "Just shut up."

The hologram was taken aback by the closeness between them. If he wanted to, he could have reached out and touched Lister.

"Look at me." He seemed to be staring the other man down. "I don’t know…how…or why…but…"

Rimmer blinked at Lister, confused. It took him a second to realize that Lister was leaning in to kiss him.

"This mean you’re not mad?" He asked breathlessly when he finally pulled back.

"You git." Lister grinned and kissed Rimmer again. "I never realized how much I really like you…" he said quietly, his arms finding their way around Rimmer’s waist. "I was so busy lusting after Chrissy…I never saw who I really loved…"

Rimmer couldn’t believe his ears. "You really mean that?" He asked, not expecting any of this.

"I think I’ve had what they call a revelation…" the shorter man muttered, reaching up to stroke his cheek. "I’m sorry for acting so crappy around you…"

"And me you." Rimmer replied.

"I was scared of you finding out how I really felt, I guess." They said in unison.

Lister chuckled. "I’m glad Hol brought you back, you really have kept me sane."

"Me too, Listy, me too." He couldn’t say much else; Lister was kissing him again.

In the backround Holly grinned. Her plan had worked. There was no You Wish game, she had set up the entire thing. It was easy to get Kryten and the Cat to go along, they were tired of the tension between the two.

Part II coming...later.

Comments

[rondaks.livejournal.com]

Yay! I like! I can't wait for part II!

Write or be smacked.

[truly-tintin.livejournal.com]

The end. Ah can't believe this, that is the cleanest Red Dwarf fic I've ever read, bar none.