reddwarfslash | Hey all!

Hi newbie to the community here but long time Dwarf fan (especially Rimmer)and lover of Rimmer/Lister slash!
I thought I'd share this fic I wrote a short while back. Some of you may have seen it on AFF but here it is for anyone else. It is NC-17 rated so beware! I will do it over 2 entries as it is 6 chapters!!

An Unexpected Change

Rating : NC-17

Lister notices something different about Rimmer after their return from Rimmer world and both learn something new about themselves M/M,Anal,Oral,Slash,Solo

Disclaimer – I own nothing but if I did I’d have Rimmer chained a la Terrorform 24/7!!

Part 1 – Something Different

Lister lay on the top bunk with the covers up over his head, pretending to be asleep. In fact he was squinting out into the darkened room, watching Rimmer move around. Just two days ago they’d finally caught up with him on Rimmerworld. A few hours for them had been six hundred years for the hologram and most of that time he’d spent in a prison cell. A number of failed attempts at making a female clone of himself had created nothing but exact replicas. Rimmer after Rimmer after Rimmer – and in time they’d over thrown him and locked him up. Thinking of so many Rimmers gave Lister the creeps and he repressed a shudder.

He looked on with concern as his roommate paced up and down, an unreadable expression on his face. Lister was worried. Rimmer was a smeghead but he was also a friend – or the nearest he’d ever get to being a friend – and something was definitely up with him. On their return to Starbug he’d said nothing of his time away except to explain the obvious things such as how he used the supplies in the escape pod. Once he reached the whole cloning thing he’d clam up and Lister still had no idea what had made his doubles lock him up and take over. All these thoughts ran through his head as he stared at the hologram.

Rimmer moved around the room, unaware that he was being scrutinized. He wore a pair of his old regulation pyjamas. Since meeting Legion and acquiring a hard light drive he had been able to touch again and could now dress himself in his old clothes. His mind had been in constant turmoil recently – the last 500 years or so in actual fact. That’s why he paced up and down now. Movement gave him something to concentrate on. Lying down to sleep there was nothing to hold off the thoughts – the memories. Luckily as a hologram he didn’t really need to sleep at all. It was just something he’d done to help keep up the illusion that he was alive. Still he thought, glancing up at Lister’s bunk, better dead than smeg. He immediately cut off this thought and paced more quickly.

He paused in front of the mirror and peered at himself through the darkness. A pale, slightly haggard face greeted him. His metallic ‘H’, showing his hologramatic status, glinted on his forehead beneath his short, dark curls. Rimmer reached up and touched the letter, feeling first coolness then a faint heat as his fingers warmed the metal. He glanced at the clock on the nearby shelf. It was almost morning. Time to climb into bed so that it would look as if he had slept when Lister woke up. With a final glance at his face in the glass and a pained expression he crept to the lower bunk and eased himself down onto the mattress, pulling the covers up over himself.

Lister watched all this in silence, trying to breathe slowly and deeply to give the illusion of sleep. Something was different alright! – different and very wrong with his companion. All he had to do now was think of the best way to handle the situation. With this thought he slowly closed his eyes and attempted to get a few hours shut-eye before dawn.

“Thank god you’re here, buddy!” exclaimed the Cat as Lister appeared in the cockpit a few hours later. “A flashing light just appeared on my screen and it does not go with this outfit – I’ve gotta change!”

Without waiting for Lister’s response the Cat shot up from the co-pilot’s seat and headed off towards his room.

“Good morning Mr Lister, sir,” piped up Kryten cheerfully.

“Hey Kryters – anything happening?” asked Lister as he flopped into his seat and put his feet up on the console.

“Nothing to report, sir,” the mechanoid continued in the same cheery manner, “though the vapour trail readings suggest that we may be gaining slightly on Red Dwarf.”

“Good,” said Lister and left it at that. He liked to keep as quiet as possible during these discussions. The others generally blamed him for the loss of their main ship since he was the one who’d parked it. That seemed a little unfair though, he decided with a mental shrug. After all – all small blue-green planetoids looked the same to him.

“Why don’t you head off, man,” he said, looking round at Kryten. “I’m fine here!”

“But sir,” Kryten objected, “Mr Rimmer hasn’t arrived to relieve me yet.”

“He’ll be here in a minute,” Lister pressed. “You go!” He watched as the mechanoid deliberated and mentally willed his friend to leave. He wanted a few moments alone before Rimmer arrived as he’d decided to confront him now during their shared shift while he couldn’t run off.

“Very well – if you are sure, sir,” Kryten decided at last. “I’ll go and start the ironing and then perhaps you’d like a curry omelette for breakfast?”

“Yeah man, that would be good,” agreed Lister and at that Kryten turned and left the room.

Lister let out an audible sigh once he was alone. He tried to get his head straight but decided he couldn’t think on an empty stomach. He didn’t want to call Kryten back though…he just needed a little snack. He gently patted each of his jacket pockets in turn then smiled to himself as he struck gold. Reaching into his inner right pocket he pulled out a very dismal looking Mint Imperial. With infinite care he picked off the worst of the muck and fluff then popped it into his mouth.

“That is absolutely disgusting!” a voice rang out behind him.

Lister sat up in his seat and looked round. Rimmer had arrived and was regarding him with a look of both revulsion and something else he couldn’t quite make out.

Part 2 – The Truth in Sight

Not a good start thought Lister, annoyed with himself, as he watched Rimmer sit at the console behind him. He took the hologram’s silence as another bad sign. In the past he would have followed up such an exclamation with a speech on all the habits of Lister’s that made him want to puke; now though – nothing. Lister swung his chair round a little so that he could just see his companion in the corner of his eye. He was surprised at the look on the other man’s face; a look of sadness and confusion.

Rimmer looked up, somehow aware that he was being watched, and caught Lister regarding him steadily. He immediately set his features into a blank sort of expression and returned his gaze to the monitor in front of him. He had to stay focus he thought, clenching his fists. He had to keep control. He stole another look only to find Lister’s eyes still on him. It was disconcerting. What did he want? No doubt he was planning some nasty trick or witty put down. He felt the sadness ready to overtake him again but mastered it.

Finally Lister could stand it no longer and he left his seat, moving to Kryten’s console next to Rimmer. He tried to make it seem as natural as possible but he was aware of the other man’s surprise and the suspicious look that followed. He sat down and went to run a hand through his hair but gave up as his fingers caught in the knotted tangle of his dreadlocks.

“So,” he began in what he hoped was an unassuming, conversational tone, “what’s up man?”

Alarms bells sounded in Rimmer’s mind and his nostrils flared slightly as his whole body became alert and he waited for the inevitable insult. None came. He regarded Lister dubiously.

“What?” he asked shortly after a moment.

“Oh you know,” continued Lister cautiously. “I just wanted to check you were – like – feeling Ok after you…” he sought for a suitable word,” you know – your time away.” He was making a mess of this he thought dismally. He sighed and leant forward a little looking intently at Rimmer. “I mean,” he added quickly, “that I’m here if you wanna – you know - talk about anything.”

Unfortunately at this key moment Kryten decided to return bearing Lister’s breakfast tray. Rimmer took the opportunity offered to appear completely absorbed with his control panel, flicking the odd switch on and off.

“Here you are Mr Lister, sir,” Kryten declared happily. “A curry omelette with onion and tomato sauce and a cold curry shake – just as you like it.”

“Yeah thanks,” Lister said absent-mindedly and was relieved when the android hurried off. He pushed the tray aside with barely a glance and returned his attention to Rimmer who was doing his best to ignore him.

“Did something happen to you on Rimmerworld?” he blurted out before he could stop himself.

As the words passed his lips a deluge of horrible possibilities flooded into his mind. All those other male Rimmers desperate, yet unable, to create a female…what if they’d…done something…to him?

At the question Rimmer started visibly and his eyes widened with a kind of terror. Had Lister discovered the truth despite all his attempts to hide it? In his panic he stood but he saw Lister do the same and knew that the other man would stop him if he tried to bolt. A set back of the hard light drive he thought bitterly – he couldn’t just walk through his persecutor and escape.

Lister decided to press his point since he’d begun. “The other – the other Rimmers – they didn’t…well I mean nothing happened…”

After a moment Rimmer realised what Lister was suggesting and looked at him aghast.

“No,” he spluttered, finding himself trying to explain against his will, “no…I mean it was hell living with myself like that. Can you imagine it? Having that one copy of me before was bad enough but this! I certainly wouldn’t have done anything like that! Although,” he added, “those early years were nothing compared to all that time locked up…”

Lister felt sure he would have elaborated but just then the Cat reappeared, cutting their conversation short.

“Hey – I’m looking good!” the feline declared, catching sight of himself in the nearest console screen. He brushed down his gold lapels and sauntered over to his chair.

Before Lister had realised what was happening Rimmer was past him and escaping out of the door.

Smeg! Lister wanted to kick himself. He’d been so close. It was clear that something had indeed affected the hologram and it seemed to have been during his imprisonment. He intended to get to the bottom of it. He wanted to help him. This realisation surprised him but only a little. It only seemed fair after all he thought. It must have been tough on the guy being alone all those years! He tried to imagine how it would have been if he’d been trapped alone on Red Dwarf. Holly had thought it through though and had given him Rimmer. He’d been appalled by Holly’s choice at first but now he knew the computer had been right. Rimmer had done what was necessary and had kept him sane. He’d been through a lot with the smeghead and it was only natural that he should care a little about him in return. It felt natural at least - to care.

Part 3 - Contemplations

Rimmer hurried to his room and sank down onto the bunk in an agitated state. So Lister didn’t know after all. He was relieved in a way but there was something else too. He found himself horrified at the thought that Lister actually thought he might have had sex with himself. Sure it wasn’t unknown for him to jerk off occasionally – he was only human after all – or at least he had been. That would have been taken masturbation a little too far though in his opinion. Besides, his mind added, it isn’t yourself that you want. Shut up, he screeched silently at himself. How could he have let that thought slip in? He immediately banished it as best he could, sprang up and started pacing furiously. He watched his feet in a vain attempt to numb his mind. He had to try and start acting more like his old self again – maybe that would save him from this. He’d go and yell at Kryten he decided at last – that would give him something to concentrate on!

The insults Rimmer was hurling at the mechanoid could be heard clearly by the Cat and Lister as they reverberated off Starbug’s metal walls.

“Well,” stated the Cat. “It seems old goalpost head is getting back on form! That guy is such a…”

“Leave him alone!” Lister found himself saying, petulantly.

“If you insist bud,” replied the Cat, eyeing Lister carefully, “but I still think we should have left him there. We could have sent a note – unavoidable circumstances, sorry to have missed you…”

Lister was aware that the Cat was still talking but the voice sounded quiet and far away. Rimmer was alerted now, he thought, and it wouldn’t be easy to get him on his own again – he’d avoid it. If only he could read the other man’s mind, he considered wistfully. Then it hit him. Lister you are a complete gimboid, he told himself.

“Listen, Cat,” Lister began, interrupting his companion’s still continuing speech about ‘goalpost head’. “Are you OK here for a while? I gotta go check something out!”

“Sure thing,” the Cat replied, “but just let me check first…” He looked down at the ominously flashing red light on his monitor then at his outfit. Red, black and gold – no problem! “Ok – all’s fine!” he ended confidently.

Lister walked quickly from the room and down the corridor. Starbug was only a small vessel so it didn’t take him long to reach the engine room. He wandered around for a moment till he found what he was looking for. Back on Red Dwarf, on one of the lower decks, was the hologram control centre. He’d gone down there once and hacked into Rimmer’s mind to upload one of his own memories into the hologram. A series of screens had been there showing Lister everything – Rimmers memories, dreams, fantasies. All were stored on his hard drive. Here on Starbug there was no fancy room but the small black box that controlled Rimmer’s light bee would contain all the information he wanted if he could hook it up to a monitor. He lifted the box and placed it carefully on the console then rooted through the cupboards till he found the right leads.

After a few minutes a faint image appeared on the screen and Lister adjusted the cables, bringing the image into focus. Rimmer’s school days he realised quickly and tapped a few buttons to jump forward to something more recent. He couldn’t face watching Rimmer’s childhood right now. While it probably would account for a lot of the adult Rimmer’s neurosis he didn’t feel it was completely relevant to his friend’s present situation. He’d said ‘friend’ again he thought, catching himself. Somehow the thought made him feel warm inside.

Shaking his head Lister returned his attention to the screen. Oh the psi-moon! They’d had to rescue Rimmer while he was being held prisoner by his own self-loathing. He was about to skip on again when he paused. They’d escaped the only way possible – they’d told Rimmer that they loved him. It had worked but once they were safe Rimmer had asked them if they had just been making it up – about liking him – and they had told him the truth. It had all been a lie. Lister felt guilty somehow. God, he thought, the guy must have felt terrible. He thinks he really is liked then learns it had all been pretend. The memory of an oiled torso then slipped in and came up on Lister unexpectedly. He blinked. What was that about?

To take his mind off these thoughts he skipped forward till he found what he wanted. Here was Rimmer amongst his clones. There was an argument of some sort going on. He quickly grabbed and pair of headphones and plugged them in so that he could hear what was being said.

“It should be blue,” his Rimmer was saying forcefully.
“No red,” suggested one of the clones
“Yes, red!” piped up another.
“Look I am the creator here and I say blue uniforms,” his Rimmer declared,
nostrils flaring madly.
The clones exchanged looks then fell on his Rimmer, dragging him off to the
prison cell.

Lister couldn’t believe it! His Rimmer had been locked up for all those years over a dispute about the colour of a uniform! His Rimmer. Where had that come from? He shrugged the question aside and turned his attention to the screen once more. Rimmer was now imprisoned and grinding away at his Chinese Worry Balls. Lister was alert now. It had to be something soon that was causing the hologram’s current bizarre behaviour. Just then the screen fizzed a little.

The cell door opened and Lister, the Cat and Kryten entered. Lister stepped
forward and told Rimmer they were here to save him.

They weren’t under guarded escort though and Lister quickly realised that this was not a memory but some sort of fantasy or dream. He watched on carefully as the same scene played out over and over again. Lister’s mind began to drift a little from the monotony but then something snapped him back. The door had opened but this time only the imaginary Lister had entered and not the others. Fully focused again, Lister watched as this scene played out a few times. At first he wondered – why him – why not the Cat or Kryten? In the he put it down to the fact that Rimmer considered him more capable of rescue missions than the other two.

Yet again the imaginary Lister swung open the door and stepped inside. He
was identical to the real Lister who sat watching in almost everyway, except
that his clothes seemed a little cleaner.

“Come on Rimmer, man,” the imaginary Lister declaimed, “I’m getting you
out of here!”

Imaginary Lister approached the crouched figure and offered a hand to help
him up. The two men then embraced. They pulled back a little and then….

Lister’s face froze into an expression of disbelief and he slammed the pause button, locking the image there.

“Oh smeg!” he muttered, as he stared at the screen.