Fic: Christmas
Dec. 9th, 2009 08:40 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
sunny-bexster.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
reddwarfslashTitle: Christmas
Rating: G
Pairing: More Lister/Rimmer friendship than proper slash.
Disclaimer: Not mine (but I’d love to find it underneath my Christmas tree. :P )
Summary: Lister’s thoughts towards the upcoming festivities.
A/N: Apologies to anyone looking for Red Dwarf centric Christmas cheer. You’re not likely to find it here. This fic came as a result of a conversation I had with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ouroboros13 about Lister and Rimmer’s feeling towards Christmas and a collection of the more melancholy Xmas songs helped me write it. Concrit welcomed.
And if I don’t speak to you all before the festive season, have a good one!
Lister hated Christmas.
It was a sentiment he rarely expressed, partly because he could never handle the reaction it got. People were always so shocked, that kind of shocked people are when they get told that you hate the most celebrated, most popular, most idolised holiday of the year. People always seemed extra shocked at Lister being less than fond of the festive season – a young, affable social lad like him, hating Christmas? Absurd.
There was a good reason why Lister hated Christmas. It was hard to feel happy about a time of year so heavily focused on wholesome family fun and unity when you didn’t have a family. His Christmases in the Children’s Home were miserable and they didn’t improve much when he was adopted.
He had fuzzy memories of him writing the mandatory letter to Santa, asking quite bluntly for a ‘mum and dad please’. His social worker went a bit teary-eyed at his letter and explained, as diplomatically as she could to a four year old, that Santa could only make toys. Lister’s image of Santa, the bringer of joy and happiness to children, was shattered at that point. So, the guy in the red suit could bring you whatever you wished for, so long as it wasn’t too much trouble? What a cop out.
To be fair, the Children’s Home did its best to play along with the traditional notion of Christmas but the children were all too aware of what each of them were missing – a family. Christmas, as far as they were concerned, meant a family. No family meant no Christmas. Not a proper one at least.
Little Lister had hoped that once he found a set of parents, he’d get a real Christmas. He didn’t. The first Christmas he was supposed to have with his new adoptive parents was anything but merry, as his new dad had died just that summer. His new mum spent most of the day locked in her bedroom, sobbing inconsolably, whilst Lister’s gran did her best to distract the young lad.
Even when living with just his gran, Lister’s Christmases felt mundane and entirely detached from the ‘spirit of the season’. His gran had done Christmas with the family for many years and in her 70s was less than inclined to do it all again. By his early teens though Lister didn’t care any more, and so neither did his gran. The first year the Christmas tree didn’t go up Lister didn’t ask and his gran didn’t explain.
When he became old enough to drink legally, Lister’s festive seasons did improve. It became traditional from him to alternate between ‘drunk’ and ‘hungover’ from the 10th of December onwards. Most of the month whizzed by in a blurr of parties, functions, nights out and socials. He loved it. He loved it because if he closed his eyes to the tinsel and the twinkle, and shut his ears to the overplayed Christmas songs and carols, he could pretend it was just another party.
Things would always, always, go sour on Christmas Eve. Year after year he’d try to convince his friends to join him on a night-out on the 24th of December, but every one of them would claim family obligations, nights in with the missus etc. On Christmas Eve, Lister was always alone.
He hated being alone. He’d find himself stalking around his flat, frowning and cursing the season. He was always at a loss for what to do. Not surprisingly, over Christmas, there was little to do that wasn’t overtly Christmassy. The TV schedule was crammed with Xmas specials, Christmas films, festive favourites. The pubs would be filled with merry patrons. Everyone he knew would be busy.
Lister was a little ashamed to admit that he’d spent a few Christmas Days alone, drunk, occasionally crying and counting down the days to New Years.
New Years – Lister loved New Years Eve. He would get rip-roaringly drunk of New Years and he loved it. By now, everyone’s Christmas spirit would be receding until next year, and everyone would be gearing up for one more big night of celebrations before the January gloom sank in.
It had been nearing Lister’s first Christmas onboard Red Dwarf when Rimmer first learned of the Scousers aversion to all things festive – something that surprised him, given the goits favourite movie was ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’.
He and Lister had been performing their duty route and Rimmer, as always, was fixing a broken vending machine. Down the corridor, two members of A-shift were hanging tinsel and various sparkly decorations from the walls and ceiling. Lister was staring at them, the glitter shining in his brown eyes.
Rimmer was about to make a snide remark when he caught the look on his bunkmates face. Lister was glaring, actually glaring at the decorations, his expression cold and serious. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes. For several seconds, he leant against the wall, he eyes screwed tight and his shoulders tense before asking Rimmer “Whatcha doin’ for New Year?”
The second technician was taken aback by the question. “Nothing. I hate it.” Which was true. Rimmer couldn’t stand New Years – all that merriment and depravity. Disgusting,
Sighing, Lister titled his hat back on his head. “Christmas then?”
Rimmer pretended to consult a mental calendar. “Nothing. I hate that too.”
With the ghost of smirk, Lister asked “Are there any holidays you don’t hate?”
“Shrove Tuesday” said Rimmer, without a trace of irony. “I can never understand why it’s not more popular. Good food, you don’t need to buy presents or cards for people and it only lasts a day...a meal even.” He sniffed and retrieved a pipe-cleaner of undeterminable style from his tool box.
“So...you hate Christmas?” Lister was mooching for information.
“Yes.” Rimmer replied, as bluntly as he could. “I have ‘family issues’ and for me any prolonged period of time spent in their company is just...torture. That’s what Christmas is to me. Torture.” He sneaked a glance at Lister, noting the still very serious expression. “I assumed you were one of those idiots who adored Christmas. The type of moron who drapes himself from nose to nether-regions with tinsel from mid-November and thinks Christmas songs just don’t get the radio-time they deserve...”
“Nah. Not me. I find it...I find it kinda lonely, y’know.”
“Yes. I do.” admitted Rimmer, with a tad more emotion than he’d intended.
“So, when you say you’re doin’ nothing for Christmas...what d’you mean by nothin’?”
Rimmer stood up and plonked his tool box down on the maintenance trolley. “By ‘nothin’ I mean, nothing even remotely Christmassy. Why?”
Lister sighed and dragged his gaze away from the decorations that now covered half the corridor. “Does getting so drunk we can hardly stand count as Christmassy?” He was sure he’d regret this later, but right now, he wanted to know he had something, anything to do on Christmas Day to save him from the misery of being alone and unhappy. If it meant wilfully spending time with Rimmer, then so be it - at least he’d have something to distract him all day.
Rimmer cocked an eyebrow at Lister’s question. He busied himself by arranging his vast collection of pipe-cleaners before giving his answer. “I think we can do that. Is it a plan?”
Lister smiled for the first time that shift “Deal. You’re on your own for New Years though, I don’t want you to think I actually like ya!”
“Smeghead” muttered Rimmer, pushing his trolley out into the corridor, with Lister following behind, still smiling, while outside the stars twinkled just as bright and shiny at the tinsel and the glitter.
Rating: G
Pairing: More Lister/Rimmer friendship than proper slash.
Disclaimer: Not mine (but I’d love to find it underneath my Christmas tree. :P )
Summary: Lister’s thoughts towards the upcoming festivities.
A/N: Apologies to anyone looking for Red Dwarf centric Christmas cheer. You’re not likely to find it here. This fic came as a result of a conversation I had with
ouroboros13 about Lister and Rimmer’s feeling towards Christmas and a collection of the more melancholy Xmas songs helped me write it. Concrit welcomed.And if I don’t speak to you all before the festive season, have a good one!
Lister hated Christmas.
It was a sentiment he rarely expressed, partly because he could never handle the reaction it got. People were always so shocked, that kind of shocked people are when they get told that you hate the most celebrated, most popular, most idolised holiday of the year. People always seemed extra shocked at Lister being less than fond of the festive season – a young, affable social lad like him, hating Christmas? Absurd.
There was a good reason why Lister hated Christmas. It was hard to feel happy about a time of year so heavily focused on wholesome family fun and unity when you didn’t have a family. His Christmases in the Children’s Home were miserable and they didn’t improve much when he was adopted.
He had fuzzy memories of him writing the mandatory letter to Santa, asking quite bluntly for a ‘mum and dad please’. His social worker went a bit teary-eyed at his letter and explained, as diplomatically as she could to a four year old, that Santa could only make toys. Lister’s image of Santa, the bringer of joy and happiness to children, was shattered at that point. So, the guy in the red suit could bring you whatever you wished for, so long as it wasn’t too much trouble? What a cop out.
To be fair, the Children’s Home did its best to play along with the traditional notion of Christmas but the children were all too aware of what each of them were missing – a family. Christmas, as far as they were concerned, meant a family. No family meant no Christmas. Not a proper one at least.
Little Lister had hoped that once he found a set of parents, he’d get a real Christmas. He didn’t. The first Christmas he was supposed to have with his new adoptive parents was anything but merry, as his new dad had died just that summer. His new mum spent most of the day locked in her bedroom, sobbing inconsolably, whilst Lister’s gran did her best to distract the young lad.
Even when living with just his gran, Lister’s Christmases felt mundane and entirely detached from the ‘spirit of the season’. His gran had done Christmas with the family for many years and in her 70s was less than inclined to do it all again. By his early teens though Lister didn’t care any more, and so neither did his gran. The first year the Christmas tree didn’t go up Lister didn’t ask and his gran didn’t explain.
When he became old enough to drink legally, Lister’s festive seasons did improve. It became traditional from him to alternate between ‘drunk’ and ‘hungover’ from the 10th of December onwards. Most of the month whizzed by in a blurr of parties, functions, nights out and socials. He loved it. He loved it because if he closed his eyes to the tinsel and the twinkle, and shut his ears to the overplayed Christmas songs and carols, he could pretend it was just another party.
Things would always, always, go sour on Christmas Eve. Year after year he’d try to convince his friends to join him on a night-out on the 24th of December, but every one of them would claim family obligations, nights in with the missus etc. On Christmas Eve, Lister was always alone.
He hated being alone. He’d find himself stalking around his flat, frowning and cursing the season. He was always at a loss for what to do. Not surprisingly, over Christmas, there was little to do that wasn’t overtly Christmassy. The TV schedule was crammed with Xmas specials, Christmas films, festive favourites. The pubs would be filled with merry patrons. Everyone he knew would be busy.
Lister was a little ashamed to admit that he’d spent a few Christmas Days alone, drunk, occasionally crying and counting down the days to New Years.
New Years – Lister loved New Years Eve. He would get rip-roaringly drunk of New Years and he loved it. By now, everyone’s Christmas spirit would be receding until next year, and everyone would be gearing up for one more big night of celebrations before the January gloom sank in.
It had been nearing Lister’s first Christmas onboard Red Dwarf when Rimmer first learned of the Scousers aversion to all things festive – something that surprised him, given the goits favourite movie was ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’.
He and Lister had been performing their duty route and Rimmer, as always, was fixing a broken vending machine. Down the corridor, two members of A-shift were hanging tinsel and various sparkly decorations from the walls and ceiling. Lister was staring at them, the glitter shining in his brown eyes.
Rimmer was about to make a snide remark when he caught the look on his bunkmates face. Lister was glaring, actually glaring at the decorations, his expression cold and serious. He crossed his arms and closed his eyes. For several seconds, he leant against the wall, he eyes screwed tight and his shoulders tense before asking Rimmer “Whatcha doin’ for New Year?”
The second technician was taken aback by the question. “Nothing. I hate it.” Which was true. Rimmer couldn’t stand New Years – all that merriment and depravity. Disgusting,
Sighing, Lister titled his hat back on his head. “Christmas then?”
Rimmer pretended to consult a mental calendar. “Nothing. I hate that too.”
With the ghost of smirk, Lister asked “Are there any holidays you don’t hate?”
“Shrove Tuesday” said Rimmer, without a trace of irony. “I can never understand why it’s not more popular. Good food, you don’t need to buy presents or cards for people and it only lasts a day...a meal even.” He sniffed and retrieved a pipe-cleaner of undeterminable style from his tool box.
“So...you hate Christmas?” Lister was mooching for information.
“Yes.” Rimmer replied, as bluntly as he could. “I have ‘family issues’ and for me any prolonged period of time spent in their company is just...torture. That’s what Christmas is to me. Torture.” He sneaked a glance at Lister, noting the still very serious expression. “I assumed you were one of those idiots who adored Christmas. The type of moron who drapes himself from nose to nether-regions with tinsel from mid-November and thinks Christmas songs just don’t get the radio-time they deserve...”
“Nah. Not me. I find it...I find it kinda lonely, y’know.”
“Yes. I do.” admitted Rimmer, with a tad more emotion than he’d intended.
“So, when you say you’re doin’ nothing for Christmas...what d’you mean by nothin’?”
Rimmer stood up and plonked his tool box down on the maintenance trolley. “By ‘nothin’ I mean, nothing even remotely Christmassy. Why?”
Lister sighed and dragged his gaze away from the decorations that now covered half the corridor. “Does getting so drunk we can hardly stand count as Christmassy?” He was sure he’d regret this later, but right now, he wanted to know he had something, anything to do on Christmas Day to save him from the misery of being alone and unhappy. If it meant wilfully spending time with Rimmer, then so be it - at least he’d have something to distract him all day.
Rimmer cocked an eyebrow at Lister’s question. He busied himself by arranging his vast collection of pipe-cleaners before giving his answer. “I think we can do that. Is it a plan?”
Lister smiled for the first time that shift “Deal. You’re on your own for New Years though, I don’t want you to think I actually like ya!”
“Smeghead” muttered Rimmer, pushing his trolley out into the corridor, with Lister following behind, still smiling, while outside the stars twinkled just as bright and shiny at the tinsel and the glitter.
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no subject
Date: 2009-12-09 10:39 pm (UTC)You know, I just can't see Lister as having had an unhappy childhood. I don't know why, exactly, but it just feels wrong to me. So you didn't quite manage to sell me on that part, but Lister's reactions to it were spot on. There's something so terribly, terribly sad about a Lister that isn't able to enjoy Christmas (because you sort of give the impression here that he would *like* to enjoy it, but he just can't; a detail I really like), a holiday that seems such a perfect fit for him.
I really want to write something parallel to this now (in my copious amounts of spare time)...
Always love to see your stories!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 10:04 am (UTC)I enjoyed writing this fic probably a little too much. Apparently, writing sad Xmas stories cheer me up...
no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 11:02 am (UTC)My main objection to the unhappy childhood thing is that I think it would have made him into a different sort of person. He did have an untraditional upbringing, yes, but he it was a happy one, and he is well-balanced despite of it. This constrasts with Rimmer, who grew up in a traditional, middle-class family, and ended up messed up and miserable despite that fact (or rather because of it, in some ways).
My interpretation, of course. :)
no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 02:02 am (UTC)Lister's past is a mystery for the most part--we know his 'dad' died when he was 6, his gran when he was 13, I believe, that he worked at Sainsbury's and a drunk Monopoly-board pub crawl got him where he is today. I know the key to good writing is to not reveal everything about the characters all at once, which Rob and Doug definitely seemed to know!
That's something I love about Red Dwarf. We saw what Rimmer and Lister are like, but it's not until later we gradually find out *why* they are the way they are. Rimmer blames his parents, and Lister had no parents to blame, yet they both ended up in the same situation! I've always found that interesting.
And I love Rimmer's line about shrove Tuesday being his favorite holiday :D
no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 10:05 am (UTC)A Christmas special of RD would be great! :) It'd be way more cheeier than this fic!
no subject
Date: 2009-12-10 08:02 pm (UTC)There may have never been a Christmas special, but I do recall a clip of Lister wearing a Santa hat with tinsel around his neck, introducing an ep of Red Dwarf while eating a curry. But a full-blown Christmas special would be awesome!!!