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[captainemerald.livejournal.com]

Name: Pop Up (Part One)

Description: Takes place in series 5 ‘Holloship’, Listy ponders why he wants Rimmer to stay so much as he prepares to leave the Dwarf (I couldn’t resist the temptation of the pop up karma sutra)

Red Dwarfs not mine, nor are any of the characters (I will have to wait till I have obtained world domination until I can make Rimsy mine…)

Oh Yeah, and please over look the fact that Rimsy didn’t actually have his hardlight bee at this point

 ***

 'tis and old slash that I recently re-discovered after getting very excited about booking DJ >squees< and checking out my old fics, I'm totally rewritting part two though, far to much fluff and nowhere near enough smut. 

 

 

It just couldn’t be true, it couldn’t! Lister buried his head in him arms, resting his forehead on the table of his sleeping quarters. There was no way on earth, no way on any planet that he - Dave Lister - was in love with Arnold-Smegging-Judas Rimmer.

 

There was only one conceivable explanation, he was space crazy. Totally and utterly and completely space crazy. He needed help. Lister looked up and peered around the his sleeping quarters, their sleeping quarters even, or at least it used to be. It just wasn’t fair, Rimmer toddles off at the first opportunity when it was Lister that he was supposed to be there for. That was why Holly had brought him back, to keep Dave sane! Give his life meaning and all that smeg.

 

“Why Rimmeh…” Thought Lister out loud, “Why’d you bring Rimmeh back just for ‘im to leave again?”

 

“He was the best one to keep you sane Dave, you needed someone to keep your mind off the fact the whole crew were dead…but you have Kryten and Cat now” Chirped in Holly, her blonde head bobbing on the vid. Lister jumped in surprised, he hadn’t expected an answer. 

 

“But why Rimmeh of all people, Hol? What is it about ‘im that keeps me sane?”

 

“You tell me, It worked didn’t it?” Holly smiled, clearly quite happy with herself, “You always complain he drives you mad, and now he’s off, I think it calls for a celebration! You can bring anyone else from the crew back as a hologram! Ooh, we should hold auditions!”. 

 

Lister smiled weakly and turned away, he didn’t want any one else from the crew… he wanted Rimmer.

***

 

It was only two in the afternoon and Rimmer had already completed 7 of the 10 things on his daily to-do list, he was ready and prepared to start his new life aboard the Holloship and as long as the mind patch thing went accordingly and novelty condom head didn’t mess it up everything would be hunky dory. Rimmer marched down the corridor beaming, stopped for a moment to his check the parting in his hair and then continued again in the direction of the sleeping quarters, he was very much looking forward to rubbing his good fortune in Lister’s gerbil face.

 

It’ll be odd, thought Rimmer, as he made his was down the corridor, not to have Listy around. Rimmer slowed down and pondered what it would actually be like without him being there. Sure Lister annoyed him beyond belief sometimes and he had been tempted on more than one occasion to murder him with the E string of his guitar, but Rimmer did quite like having him around, he’d almost come to regard him as a…. no! Lister was not a friend, nor anything else of that description! Rimmer picked up speed, think of all the things you can have on the Holloship, think of Nirvanah! Smegging Lister!

Rimmer burst into the sleeping quarters and eyed the back to Lister’s head. say something mean quick thought Rimmer, franticly racking his brains for something to say

 

  “ You’ve put on weight, and you need a shower, and…and erm, and you really get on my nerves, you gerbil faced little goit!” Rimmer sat down triumphant, there, that’ll show him for occupying my thoughts!

 

Lister turned round to face Rimmer, his face looked tragically sad and Rimmer panicked. He avoided eye contact and picked up the nearest book to hide his face. 

 

  “Cheers Rimmeh, really appreciate it, you know sometimes you can be such a nasty, nostril-flared smegga…” Lister cut off and raised his eyebrows at Rimmer, “Err, Rimmeh, what you doin’?”. 

 

Rimmer looked back at Lister confused, then looked down at the book that he had inexplicably grabbed to hide his face, ‘The Zero Gravity Pop Up Karma Sutra’ which had, as advertised, popped up with a rather inappropriate part of the male anatomy with was currently looming in front of Rimmer’s face. Rimmer jumped back and threw the book across the room (which bounced off Lister’s head and landed neatly on his lap) whilst simultaneously throwing himself onto the floor. Lister sat and watched in silence, a sad smile creeping slowly onto his face.

 

  “I’m gonna miss you man,” he said, placing the Karma Sutra on the table next to him. A silence lingered between them, Rimmer was still sat on the floor next to his bunk, he stood up gingerly and looked down at Lister.

 

  “ Yeah, I’m going to miss you too” 

***

 

  “Almost ready sirs!” said Kryten, his head popping around the doorway of the sleeping quarters “The mind patch will be ready to begin in about an hour Mr Rimmer, I will meet you in the drive room” Kryten stalked off, leaving Rimmer and Lister sat on their bunks in silence.

 

Rimmer lay down, staring up at the bottom of Lister’s bunk, desperately trying to think of something to say to break the silence. His thoughts were broken by the sight of Lister’s feet dangling from the top bunk before he leaped down onto the floor, Lister looked down at him from the middle on the quarters and sighed deeply. 

 

  “Rimmeh, man…” he paused as he pondered how to word what he said “before you go, I just wanted to say bye properly and all that, “Cause you know…” he trailed off and kept his eyes fixed on Rimmer‘s, Rimmer stood up and nodded. 

 

  “ Yeah, I know.”  said Rimmer weakly.

 

The awkward silence was still there, cutting through them both. Lister edged forward slightly, his flingers tapping the side of his thigh, unsure whether or not to reach out and hug the other man. After a few moments of uncomfortable silence Lister threw caution to the wind and put his arms around Rimmer, it took Rimmer a few second to respond and hug him back.

 

Rimmer had never been hugged like this before, in fact, he could never remember being hugged at all. His parents had said it would make him soft. He held Lister close to him, absorbing his heat and feeling his chest rise and fall with every breath. Rimmer closed his eyes, shit he thought to himself why does this mean so much more to me than Nirvana? but of course he already knew the answer. Rimmer loosened the hold on Lister and pulled back, looking into Lister’s face

 

  “ I should probably go and get stuff ready, who knows what I’m going to be like after this mind patch”  

 

Rimmer let go but didn’t step back, their bodes still pressed together, Lister nodded

  “We know you’re not gonna be you” the two men looked at each other “So I guess I should wish you luck , eh”. 

 

Then Lister did something he wasn’t planning on doing. Something which he never in 3 million years would have thought he would do. He stretched forward and kissed Rimmer, slowly prising his lips open with his own and exploring his mouth with his tongue. Rimmer wrapped his arms around Lister’s waist and Lister wrapped his arms around Rimmer’s neck and they held their tight embrace until they had to stop and gasp for air.

 

  “So that’s how you wish someone good luck is it? You never did that before any of my exams, maybe I would have passed if you had”

 

  “Nah,” said Lister with a smirk, “you would’ve been far too distracted.” 

 

  “I think you’re right…”

 

  “See, even I’m right sometimes”

 

  “ Hmm, sometimes.” said Rimmer, he pulled back and let his arms fall loosely to his sides. He wasn’t exactly sure what to do with them now so he rested his hands on the table, pushing paper around and flicking through books.

 

Lister watched with interest until Rimmer noticed he was being watched, “What? you know I have to fiddle when I feel nervous”

 

  “Yeah I know,” said Lister Cheekily “I’m just waitin’ for you to get to that” Lister gestured towards the karma sutra that lay on the table.

 

Rimmer slid his hand across the table and picked up the book. “Well,” he said “You heard Kryten, we’ve got an hour”

 

 

Comments

[laurenthemself]

“So that’s how you wish someone good luck is it? You never did that before any of my exams, maybe I would have passed if you had”

This is one of my new favourite lines in anything ever :D

[alyeen1.livejournal.com]

There was only one conceivable explanation, he was space crazy.
Lol, so funny :-) *hearing Lister's voice*

His parents had said it would make him soft.
My gosh, this is sad. At least he got that done.

"What? you know I have to fiddle when I feel nervous"
Lister's there to fiddle ... ;-)

That was lovely. And smut sounds very good for the next part :-D