reddwarfslash | *Prepares herself for the boos and hisses*

A/N: Inspired by a Calvin and Hobbes strip, I bring you a small Christmas gift. It’s a slash of sorts – and it has cold in it so I figure it qualifies for Christmas. ^_^ And yes, it’s another drablet. Sorry.

Title: One Everywhere
Summary: There’s one on every JMC ship.
Disclaimer: No, it’s not mine. If it weren’t the festive season, I’d cry.
Rating: PG

“Well!” His voice echoing around the hall, Rimmer rubbed his fingers together with delight in the aftermath of a hard morning’s workout, regardless of the soft-light sweat covering his forehead and slicking down his hair.

“What a workout! What a session, eh?” He grinned at the Skutter by his feet, which cocked its head sideways and made clicking noises at him. Rimmer’s grin faded.

“Oh yeah – well – well – well, who asked you?” he snapped. “Just because we’re travelling slowly through a bunch of icy-cold planetoids that’ll affect all the fleshies on this ship, who in turn have cranked up the thermostat in order to stay warm, do you think I have to forgo my training?”

The Skutter gave a nod. Rimmer glared at it as he rubbed his collarbone.

“Well – if you want to make yourself useful, turn the air-conditioning on; all this heat’ll melt my lightbee.”

The Skutter nodded again, secretly wishing that this had already occurred and then rolled down the corridor with Rimmer in close pursuit to where the nearest temperature-control was situated on the wall. Rimmer nodded down at the Skutter.

“Well go on, then. Switch it round.”

Placed under the threat of being reported to the head Skutter, who happened to have all the cool luxury extras like an eye that changed colour and a built-in karaoke system, the Service Robot obediently bent its claw up to switch off the heating system and boot the airing system into life. Rimmer smiled and let out a contented sigh, working his shoulders and undoing the top two buttons on his shirt.

“Rimmer, leave that thermostat alone!” Drifting out of the open door of the officer’s cabin, Lister’s loud voice was full of annoyance with a tinge of threat thrown in for good measure. Rimmer and the Skutter both froze.

“Turn that damn heating system back on!” Cat’s voice, angry and with the promise of a pair of claws and sharp teeth being put to good use on one hologram’s projector, followed Lister’s words suit. Rimmer exchanged a glance with the Skutter before chancing protest.

“But – “

“NOW!”

“Alright, alright, OK…” Rimmer scowled as the feline and human gave their reply in unison before turning heavily to the Skutter. “OK, put it back in its place.”

The Skutter made a fast amount of chirping noises at him with his claw; Rimmer didn’t know whether if he laughing or protesting. Casting the robot a dark look, the technician mooched away to have a hologrammatic shower, muttering words such as ‘goits’, ‘selfish’, ‘revenge’ and ‘marmite.’

Lister gave a sigh and rolled his eyes as Rimmer’s grumbling faded away down the corridor. Turning back to Cat, sitting at the table next to him, the two exchanged a dark glance.

“There’s one on every JMC ship,” Lister hissed to the feline, before resuming his previous position of resting his head in his arms on the table whilst he inspected a bunch of playing cards.

“Others as bad as him? I can’t believe that.” Reclaiming the area on Lister’s back where he had been resting his head and chest with one arm supporting his chin, Cat was suddenly struck by a thought as he turned his attention back to the pile of cards he himself was holding and the game continued.

“Hey, babe. How long exactly did you know Goalpost Head before you became room-mates anyway?”

Fin.