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[vejgeta9.livejournal.com]

The day He – man, She – Ra, Catra, Scorpia, Skeltor, Beast Man, Hordak, Horde Dominatrix, Castaspella, Swift Wind, The Red Knight, Man At Arms, Orko, Steve, Blue, Queen Celeste, King Babar, various Rhinos, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, G.I. Joe, Cobra, Harry Potter, Ron Wesley, Hermione whateverherlastnamewas, Percy Wesley, Mr. Wesley, Draco Malfoy, the Ghost Busters, Ghostbusters, Sitting Ducks, Pingu, The A Team, The Village People, the people in the village of Bright Moon, Punky Brewster, Rainbow Bright, Brave Star, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Jem got high, and how Listy convinced Rimmsy to watch it with him in bed! (And there may be more if I can convince my brain to add more!)
Universe(s): Too many to list, really.
Pairings: Again too many to list.
Rating: W for will you f*** He – man or Hordak! (Personally, I wouldn’t choose either, seeing as Hordak has an infection and more than likely passed it to He - man!!)
Synopsis: It gets crazy with so many universes trying to *CENSORED* each other, but if there’s a will there’s a way. There had a * CENSORED* way. Also, you may notice from other fics, mine’s has the Censor in it. Hell, it’s just for show, say whatever you want to. It’s a huge *CENSORED* world out there, and behind the *CENSORED*, blocking the words parents don’t want their kids to read. The whole purpose of this fic is for people to rip it to shreds.
Disclaimer: I, or any help I may have received with this fic has no claim over this fic. Grant/Naylor, you guys are a well of inspiration to me and every ‘Dwarfer’ (that sounds weird, really weird!!) out there. I love ‘Red Dwarf’ and would marry it if the show was a guy, and single, and gay! Viewer discretion is advised. And this is NOT WORK SAFE!! Also, if anyone is viewing this work of art is under the age of 18, or whatever is the age law in your country, please note that I, nor any conglobation parties do not have played no part in your child viewing this material. For you morons and stupid people out there it says keep your damned kids AWAY from the INTERNET! I’m only a fan boy, with no money, and a whole lot of time to be creative in ‘Red Dwarf’ universe, so please don’t sue me. Read it, comment, and print it. Whatever!

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Chapter 1: The Beginning
Rimmer was cleaning the kitchen after dinner when Lister came into the room.
“What’s up?”
“Nothin’, just missed you a bit.”
Rimmer smiled a bit and empted the dish water. It was like Lister to say something like that. He could be romantic without trying.
“Listy, we ate dinner together 40 minutes ago!”
“I know, I know! But I was wondering if you wanted to watch a movie with me?”`
“Well I- wait a minute, it’s not porno is it? Because that one with the 5 guys made in space made me nauseas *shudders* and we were sore for 2-3 weeks. And we won’t get started on the 2 girls, 1 cup, or 2 guys and a cup. I can’t believe someone would want to eat someone else’s shit or drink their piss. *hard shudder* Not saying they would want to eat their own shit or drink their own piss.”
Lister looked pale. Even he was sick after watching that.
“Yeah, put me off sex for months. You had to practically rape me! Which was not half bad!!!”
Rimmer smiled at him.
“You had it coming! I would gladly do it again if provoked!” He walked over and kissed Lister on the nose and then on the lips.
“So what garbage do you have in mind Lister?
“Well it has a really long name, it’s called ‘The day He – man, She – Ra, Catra, Scorpia, Skeltor, Beast Man, Horde Prime, Horde Dominatrix, Castaspella, Swift Wind, The Black Knight, Man At Arms, Orko, Steve, Blue, Queen Celeste, King Babar, various Rhinos, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, G.I. Joe, Cobra, Harry Potter, Ron Wesley, Hermione whateverherlastnamewas, Professor Snape, Percy Wesley, Mr. Wesley, Draco Malfoy, Brave Star Ghost Busters, Ghostbusters, Sitting Ducks, Pingu, The Village People, the people in the village of Bright Moon, Punky Brewster Bug Bunny, Daffy Duck, and Jem got high.”
Rimmer looked at him retardedly and said “Horde Dominatrix?” Lister shrugged and said”The guys down at work said that parts a scream!”
“Well, we will see. Besides, I’m kinda disturbed since some of these shows I watched when, well, a kid. So let’s see this retarded movie, Listy.”
“I know that it does, me and me brothers watched He – Man and Jem.”
”You know Jem was supposed to be for girls, Listy.” Rimmer said, smiling.
“Yeah, I know, but it was so colorful. And I loved She – Ra. And The Hodak, Skeltor, who was in the closet with He – man. You know, He – man should have just came out the closet, since he was after Skeltor so much!”
Rimmer got up and put the movie in the 3d bluray player, then joined him on the couch. As usual, Lister was spread out on the couch, turned facing the 120 inched television, and as usual, Rimmer lay down behind him with the remote, and pressed play.

And our fun packed movie begins.


Part 1 SHE – RA, what happened to your clothes and your panties?
It was a joyful day in Whispering Meadows, since Hordak and Horde Dominatrix and his/her/it dominatrix his/her/its dominatrix group was ran out on him/her/its leader. For once in her life, She – Ra got chance to do two of her greatest joys in her life, and she hope Horde Dominatrix and the people around her in Bright Moon would not get upset. So, she headed to the grassy knoll down the pathway, away from the kids, and took off her dress and her panties, took out the joint from under her left breast* how it got under there was a mystery to her and plus, it didn’t get sweaty* got the lighter from under the right one*again she was totally lost* (oh and did I mention she was a FFFF 24 ¾ cup, with cup sizes that changes!) and the ashtray from… well, you get the idea, and for those of you who don’t get the idea, you are a lost cause.
She had been looking for that ashtray for what seemed like eons, but it was like 2 days ago when Bow dared her to shove it her va –jay – jay, which she like totally did it coz she’s da’ like she / he man, woman. It had like diamonds, emeralds, some pearls, and some coke residue because she had done like 5 lines before she went here or there or where ever she had partied hard 2 days ago!! I want to say Neptune’s Bar but that could have been anywhere at any time!
And she had like her brother there, so yeah it waz hot because she like totally decided to make the ashtray c.&c.*cum & cry* and it like totally did. So anyways, she was getting so high and stuff, and her hand like totally fell down in between her legs, right to her va – jay – jay and it sent shivers down her spine.
And so she did what came* this is NOT just a play on words people and WHY do you Not flame this ‘author’ for writing this piece of *Censored*
The vajayjay has left the room! The vajayjay has left the room!
natural to her, she had to do something about the looming VA – JAY- JAY and its CLITORIS of DOOM that was coming to get her!!! So, like she decided to ‘let her fingers do the walking’ and masturbate herself until her clitoris let her Stomp out a orgasm her fingers would not ‘do the walking no more’, or a piece of dick fell out the sky, which would do her no good because she was in the wrong position! She put in her a note in her brain to ‘reread the positions Karma Slutra positions handy, dandy note book, or look at Karma Slutra calendar, if she could find it under the trash, used condoms, plastic baggies her coke came in, 20 or 30 or 40 cheeseburger wrappers, her many dildos *she really REALLY liked fucking, and since the male population only included was only Bow* she kept the wrappers for no reason,* 69 comics entitled ‘69 ways you can Stomp out an Orgasm, while doing the 69’. And so she began Stomping out an Orgasm when Bow came down the path.
“Oh, She – ra, there you aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee…”
She – ra held up her hand because she was really close to stamping out an orgasm, and needed silence to compete it, but she suddenly became shy and her body wouldn’t stamp one out, not even a little one. She removed her hand from her va – jay - jay. She stood and gathered her clothes and started putting her clothes back on, nearly tripping on her flavorite favorrite panties *you really don’t wanna know how she found out how she knew that’s what they were* she ate a pair of them – on purpose.
It was that time of the month, and even though the sales rep told they were FOR her MALE companion to eat- off- her- va- jay- jay and, well, she was craving for something sweet, and she knew that they tasted because Bow wouldn’t eat her va-jay-jay without some kind of incentive, and She-ra wasn’t to good with cleaning down there, since nobody is supposed to be down there, despite the green juice dripping from it, which was really, really, REALLY gross.
Eeewww.
So they tried candy floss, candy apples, whipped cream, ice cream with sprinkles, just sprinkles, Sundaes w/ and w/o sprinkles, popcorn, porn (even the gay ones, which he liked better, because the guys were doing it in the dark, in the park! And nobody was complaining about fucking or saying “It hurts!”), so since he was into dudes, that kinda put him off the va-jay-jay permeatally. Well, since he was off her va-jay-jay permeatally. This answered his dead pan look.
He looked sick. Which explained him throwing up and looking like a zombie.
“Uumm…I came to tell you Hordak and Horde Dominatrix are here looking for you, but already knew that. And sorry for throwing up, but I swear while you were… you know…”
“Stomping out an orgasm?’
“Well, whatever you were doing… Yeah… doing that. I wanted to let you know. I swear your va-jay-jay looked at me… Excuse me, I ‘m going to be…!” Exit stage left, sound of barfing and gagging ensues…
So She-ra, after putting her clothes on, went to see Hordak.
She was surprised to seeing Hordak, or Horde Dominatrix, but Hordak did have a really big dick, after all, she had fucked him, he busted her CHERRY, which tasted like a Cherry Danish, he told her! She did not know about Horde Dominatrix, but heard that he/she/it did had a big dick, a REALLY, REALLY BIG DICK!! And he loved to use it too, when it was a he!! She couldn’t to meet it!! Usually, Hordak didn’t just pop in for a chat. And he didn’t feel like talking. He was burning when he peed. He was LITERARY BURNING, AS IN ON FIRE!
“She-ra, can we talk, man –to- woman?”
“Sure thing. What’s up?”
“Well, when fucked last time- “
“Let’s use less abrasive words, Hordak baby!”
“Well remember when we… bumped uglyies?
“Yes, I do.”
“Well, don’t take this the wrong way…”
“…”
“You see, I think you gave me an infect… infection. But I don’t see how. I mean, you can’t…, you wouldn’t, would you?”
“No, I couldn’t, since you were the first to ‘Enter this Tunnel of Love’ I wouldn’t. But speaking of infections, since we met last, my wishing well has been spewing out green shit. I’ve gone through 6 pair of my good panties! *Really, it was only 2 pairs, since she was not good at keeping her va-jay-jay clean, as I’m sure I’ve mentioned before! Maybe she would get the “Tidy Cat” I told her about!! And seeing that she DIDN’T wear panties, there was a green puddles wherever she sat.* “Don’t invite that bitch over again! That whore leaked something blue - greenish all over my plastic- covered furniture!” And I know it was her because that musty, no panty wearing hussy’s VA-JAY-JAY WINKED AT ME!” said Bow’s mother.
“I’ve never had an infection before!!” Hordak whined.
“Well, what did the doctor say?”
“Either take these… pills *take out pill bottle and shakes bottle, pills jiggles and shakes*for two weeks, or find the person that gave me the infection, and fuck them again.”
“And you’re saying that little ole’ me gave you the infection? I think not!”
So Hordak began to back track to see who he fucked in the last 2 weeks. He fucked Skeltor, and Catra, Scorpio, Leech, He-man, and She-ra *damn, was He sexy, and insatiable* and he remembered his asre being sore the morning after, but thought nothing of it. Now he wished had.
“She-ra, do you remember did we have a three some last time we met?”
She-ra thought hard.
“I remember, yes we did. While you were *CENSORED* me, we did have a 3rd party, but I can’t remember who it was, but he was *CENSORED* THE hell out of you! And despite what you say, you LOVED it! Sorry Hordak baby! Don’t have a clue!”
“Clueless bitch”, said Hordak under his breath as he was walking out. All she’s good for is fucking, useless bitch! I’d rather fuck He-man anyways!”
“I’d pay money to see that,” Rimmer.
“And you said ‘It is garbage!’ remember!” laughed Listy. Rimmer laughed as well. “Yes I did.”
“Pause it!” cried Lister.
“Why?”
“Bathroom break!” said Lister, holding his stomach.
Rimmer sighed, picked up the super, dupper remote transferring the movie to the bedroom. He heard the toilet flush, went out to meet Lister. Then he heard the clean-o-tronic 1000 going on, and he sighed again.
“Listy’s taking a shower. For me!!””
Maybe he should too. It was not worth it they shower separate. But if the evenings ‘activates’, there would be time for showering together later.

Chapter 2 coming soon!

Comments

[debris_k.livejournal.com]

Lj-cut, please. :-)

(Also, I think it's He-Man and She-Ra, not He - Man and She - Ra; it makes even the title very hard to read and understand.)

[janamelie.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/support/faqbrowse.bml?faqid=75

Here's how to insert an LJ-cut.

You might also want to insert line breaks after paragraphs to make it easier to read.

[beetle-breath.livejournal.com]

did the rich text editor go snafu on you (as it does all the damn time)? 'cos some paragraph breaks & an lj cut would help :)