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reddwarfslash The day Lister, Rimmer, The Marlboro Man, The Trogon Man, He – man, She – Ra, Catra, Scorpia, Skeltor, Beast Man, Hordak, Horde Dominatrix, Castaspella, Swift Wind, Another Horse, some various Horses, The Red Knight, Man At Arms, Orko, Steve, Blue, Queen Celeste, King Babar, various Rhinos, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, G.I. Joe, Cobra, Harry Potter, Ron Wesley, Hermione whateverherlastnamewas, Percy Wesley, Mr. Wesley, Draco Malfoy, the Ghost Busters, Ghostbusters, Sitting Ducks, Pingu, The A Team, The Village People, the people in the village of Bright Moon, Batman, Robin, Superman, Punky Brewster, Rainbow Bright, Brave Star, Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck ,Brave Star, Tex Hex, and Jem got it together! (And there may be more if I can convince my brain to add more!) Part 2 -?
Universe(s): Too many to list, really.
Pairings: Again too many to list.
Rating: W for Will you( CENSORED) Casta (SHE’S wasn’t clean.)
Synopsis: It gets crazy with so many universes trying to *CENSORED* each other, but if there’s a will there’s a way. There had better a * CENSORED* way. Also, you may notice from other fics, mine’s has the Censor in it. Hell, it’s just for show, say whatever you want to. It’s a huge *CENSORED* world out there, and behind the *CENSORED*, sign blocking the words parents don’t want their kids to read. The whole purpose of this fic is for people to rip it to shreds.
Disclaimer: I, or any help I may have received with this fic has no claim over the things of Red Dwarf… Grant/Naylor, you guys are a well of inspiration to me and every ‘Dwarfer’ (that sounds weird, really weird!!) out there. I love ‘Red Dwarf’ and would marry it if the show was a guy, and single, looked like Listy, and was gay! Viewer discretion is advised. And this is NOT WORK SAFE!! Also, if anyone is viewing this work of art is under the age of 18, or whatever is the age law in your country. Please note that I, nor any conglobation parties do not have played no part in your child viewing this material. For you morons and stupid people out there it says keep your damned kids AWAY from the INTERNET! I’m only a fan boy, with no money, and a whole lot of time to be creative in ‘Red Dwarf’ universe, so please don’t sue me. Read it, comment, and print it. Whatever!
I must have lost my mind when I came up with this fic!
Chapter 2: Casta who?
Castaspella opened her legs to check on the people in Bright Moon. Her clitoris slowly unrolled
itself, yawned and stretched. She gave Bad Binky (she named her clitoris ‘Bad Binky!! (You… she…
she...h…I guess her “clit” a… Yeah, there’s no excuse for that.) In her pubic hair was a down
scaled version of her kingdom stuck to her *gulp* permanently, to her ‘va-ja-ja. She would have
to get the Red Knight to thank Bow for her, for she was sure that they get IT together! (sorry,
bit of British humour! I couldn’t help meself!!)
But, back to her kingdom. Two of the townspeople complained about an earthquake that messed up
their lawns and their homes. That was during one of Casta’s itch fits. See, She-ra wasn’t the
only person who did not know the meaning of ‘shower’. Hell, Casta didn’t know the meaning of the
word ‘shower’. Only She-ra’s ‘cat’ did not smell as bad as the some dead cat that got stuck
on a road on a hot summer’s day. That title strictly belonged to Casta. And she reveled in her
glory (And not to mention, she had crabs and a yeast infection that would make her baker
jealous!! But, I don’t think he was interested in her yeast infection, from her green,
nasty ‘cat’.) They also didn’t know about the scaled down model in her public hair either. Could
explain the giant crabs crossing the streets every day!
Seeing all the town folk walking in her pubic hair was a turn on for Casta, and she felt like
getting her cat eaten BY a cat, so she pulled on the lace and frilly cord thingie hanging to the
right of the bed. And in walks a semi-naked Catra.
”Eat my pussy cat, lick it, suck my pussy cat!”
And Catra would have, normally, but she saw Casta’s cat’s was a bubbling cesspool AND smelled
the most awful smelled and said,
“Miss Casta, um, I’d rather pass because you’re cat is not cle… AAAAHHH! NNNOOO!”
Casta did two things. First, she pulled navy blue string, which thereby sent Catra down a trap
door in the floor which just as bad being sent Fuck Hell, there were: the tentacles, tentacles
with eyes, tentacles in buckets, Frankenstein, evil dildos, tentacles with dildos, and, dildos
with blenders, dildos with tentacles ghosts with evil didlos, let’s not forget satan and his
valleys of cats!! Bet you didn’t see that coming!! Second, she press a button on her nightstand,
which turned on said machines on!!
“Help me! Some….oh wait, don’t send don’t send help,” she moaned. Obovsly , she either ran into
either ran into one set of tentacles with didlos, or Frankenstein, or even dildos with
blenders.
(Trust me; I don’t know how she got satan, absolutely no clue...) She didn’t know what
tentacles with blenders would do since she had installed by The Horrible Death pool, (The Home
Depot) but they should really maim somebody.
When the evil team of Horde Prime and the good, wonderful, but unclean team of Team She-ra took
them in, bandaged their wounds, as well as micro chipped them. I don’t think they had dentists
back then, but they had everything – and I do mean everything else.
They also received shots in their arms and asses, so no one that was fucking could not get
pregnant. And, given how that was every woman, and in some cases, even the men wound up pregnant
as well – which is very creepy!!
*Bow had anal sex with Man-at-Arms AND the Red Knight and now he – meaning Bow – is pregnant!
Because at the bear back Get yo’ Drink on, Get yo’ smoke on, Get yo’ Fuck on, that’s what he
did!! So, that’s what he did! The sad part is, he couldn’t know whose the baby’s daddy was!
Well, we can go on Jerry Springer for that! Had he been smart, he would have taken ‘*the morning
After Pill!*’
Now he has to explain this anyone who is wondering why does he want fish and ice cream and
pickles, together? And why his stomach was getting big. And can they have abortions? And why is
there water leaking from his ass? And where would the baby come out when it was time? And can
they have their tubes tied or cinged? Do they have periods? And could he have the baby natural
or would he have a C – section? Just shut up and watch the damned clip!
*Clip**sexy Male voice then, a Very Sexy MALE ASIAN with his shirt off appears and my eyes
oogoling * “The human body is a phenomenal machine. The body has many different ways to
reproduction. For women, even though their bodies are made for reproduction, their bodies can
undergo through transformation process rather quickly.
The change in hormones, as well as the whole losing the female parts and gaining male parts is a
breeze. Ok, on to my favorite part, the MALE body! Hear numerous ohs ahs.
And then one yelled out “Put that hoe up again.” (Eyes oogoling the naked male body, and he
gains a trouser snake. A nice snake! My eyes continue oogoling. Removing pants and boxers in my
mind.) For the male body, it can develop female reproductive organs. This usually hurts the male
because he goes through the process – alone. This usually happens if the male body becomes used
to anal sex for long periods. The transaction can usually if the male is gay, and can have a
baby though cesarean section. We can have twins, triplets, quads, octo’s, and however many
BABIES THAT ANY WOMAN CAN at once!!
Now I noticed that no one mentioned STDs. There have been major strides in that department. We
have irradiated Aids and HIV. Everything else, well, they’re there!”
“Was in the smeging smeg was that?” said Rimmer.
“The smeg if I know”, said Lister. “Scoot. I don’t have any room.”
“What I want to know is who produced this… this piece of… comedy?” said Rimmer, scooting and
laughing.
“Um… it says the producer is a ve… ve…vejgeta9. And betaed by sallycandance whoever or whatever
that is, Rimsy.”
“This vejgeta9” breathed Rimmer.
“Wonder if this ‘vejgeta9’ is a guy.”
“Of course YOU’D want to know if it’s a guy or a girl!!” laughed Lister.
“No, it’s because women have been known to write good fanfics, so I’m assuming this script had
to have come from a woman. Look at the facts. Have either one of us have been partnered with an
orks in this fic?”
“No,” said Lister.
“Have we been with those hairy, ugly, things and talk all screwed up?”
”No,” said Lister.
Do you dread coming to work because of what, or who you maybe pair up with? Well, do you? asked
Rimmer.
“No”, said Lister.
“Well, I believe it’s a man. Wanna bet on it?”
Rimmer smiled, and said “Sure, Listy, why not? After all, I’ve been with EVERYONE under the
known Sun. Trust me; this could not be a man writing this!”
“Huh? You have? But seeing the way it’s written, I still say man, it’s a guy wrote this.”
Listy grinned too.” And if I win, you can’t fuck me for a month. And you have to cook me
favorite chicken vindaloo, as well as eat it for two weeks. Don’t look so worried, I’ll give you
me grans recipe!”
Rimmer hastily agreed and said, “Well, I want you to be a bottom for me for a whole month”.
No ‘I don’t feel like it’, or ‘Not tonight Rimsy, I’ve got a headache’. Just come in, bend over,
and tell me how smeging wonderful I am!”
Lister smiled at him.
“Why have me say something you know I normally say anyway?” said Lister.
“I know, but you know, I never get tired of hearing it!” said Rimmer. “Let’s check for her or
him out on the internet. There’s gotta be something there,” said Rimmer.
“No need”, said Lister.
“What?”Said Rimmer.
“There’s a profile inside here,” said Lister. “And I was right!! It is a guy!! And he’s a right
sexy bugger, too! Too bad he only likes Asians. Oop’s Asians and Listy and maybe Rimsy, if he
can keep his mouth shut! ”
“Let me see. “Said Rimmer. “Well, you’re right! So, does my servitude begin now?” Lister though
for a moment, then said “I release you from your sexual duties. I think I need some this of this
(grab Rimmer’s trou in the front) tonight.”
And I think this chapter…
“Wait!” We have a season to finish recording!!”
“Yes Listy! But since you are – wait- you’re going to have sex with Rimsy, right?”
“Right.”
Let me grab my camcorder!! ~ Chapter 3 cumming soon!!
Hope everyone enjoys the fic!
Universe(s): Too many to list, really.
Pairings: Again too many to list.
Rating: W for Will you( CENSORED) Casta (SHE’S wasn’t clean.)
Synopsis: It gets crazy with so many universes trying to *CENSORED* each other, but if there’s a will there’s a way. There had better a * CENSORED* way. Also, you may notice from other fics, mine’s has the Censor in it. Hell, it’s just for show, say whatever you want to. It’s a huge *CENSORED* world out there, and behind the *CENSORED*, sign blocking the words parents don’t want their kids to read. The whole purpose of this fic is for people to rip it to shreds.
Disclaimer: I, or any help I may have received with this fic has no claim over the things of Red Dwarf… Grant/Naylor, you guys are a well of inspiration to me and every ‘Dwarfer’ (that sounds weird, really weird!!) out there. I love ‘Red Dwarf’ and would marry it if the show was a guy, and single, looked like Listy, and was gay! Viewer discretion is advised. And this is NOT WORK SAFE!! Also, if anyone is viewing this work of art is under the age of 18, or whatever is the age law in your country. Please note that I, nor any conglobation parties do not have played no part in your child viewing this material. For you morons and stupid people out there it says keep your damned kids AWAY from the INTERNET! I’m only a fan boy, with no money, and a whole lot of time to be creative in ‘Red Dwarf’ universe, so please don’t sue me. Read it, comment, and print it. Whatever!
I must have lost my mind when I came up with this fic!
Chapter 2: Casta who?
Castaspella opened her legs to check on the people in Bright Moon. Her clitoris slowly unrolled
itself, yawned and stretched. She gave Bad Binky (she named her clitoris ‘Bad Binky!! (You… she…
she...h…I guess her “clit” a… Yeah, there’s no excuse for that.) In her pubic hair was a down
scaled version of her kingdom stuck to her *gulp* permanently, to her ‘va-ja-ja. She would have
to get the Red Knight to thank Bow for her, for she was sure that they get IT together! (sorry,
bit of British humour! I couldn’t help meself!!)
But, back to her kingdom. Two of the townspeople complained about an earthquake that messed up
their lawns and their homes. That was during one of Casta’s itch fits. See, She-ra wasn’t the
only person who did not know the meaning of ‘shower’. Hell, Casta didn’t know the meaning of the
word ‘shower’. Only She-ra’s ‘cat’ did not smell as bad as the some dead cat that got stuck
on a road on a hot summer’s day. That title strictly belonged to Casta. And she reveled in her
glory (And not to mention, she had crabs and a yeast infection that would make her baker
jealous!! But, I don’t think he was interested in her yeast infection, from her green,
nasty ‘cat’.) They also didn’t know about the scaled down model in her public hair either. Could
explain the giant crabs crossing the streets every day!
Seeing all the town folk walking in her pubic hair was a turn on for Casta, and she felt like
getting her cat eaten BY a cat, so she pulled on the lace and frilly cord thingie hanging to the
right of the bed. And in walks a semi-naked Catra.
”Eat my pussy cat, lick it, suck my pussy cat!”
And Catra would have, normally, but she saw Casta’s cat’s was a bubbling cesspool AND smelled
the most awful smelled and said,
“Miss Casta, um, I’d rather pass because you’re cat is not cle… AAAAHHH! NNNOOO!”
Casta did two things. First, she pulled navy blue string, which thereby sent Catra down a trap
door in the floor which just as bad being sent Fuck Hell, there were: the tentacles, tentacles
with eyes, tentacles in buckets, Frankenstein, evil dildos, tentacles with dildos, and, dildos
with blenders, dildos with tentacles ghosts with evil didlos, let’s not forget satan and his
valleys of cats!! Bet you didn’t see that coming!! Second, she press a button on her nightstand,
which turned on said machines on!!
“Help me! Some….oh wait, don’t send don’t send help,” she moaned. Obovsly , she either ran into
either ran into one set of tentacles with didlos, or Frankenstein, or even dildos with
blenders.
(Trust me; I don’t know how she got satan, absolutely no clue...) She didn’t know what
tentacles with blenders would do since she had installed by The Horrible Death pool, (The Home
Depot) but they should really maim somebody.
When the evil team of Horde Prime and the good, wonderful, but unclean team of Team She-ra took
them in, bandaged their wounds, as well as micro chipped them. I don’t think they had dentists
back then, but they had everything – and I do mean everything else.
They also received shots in their arms and asses, so no one that was fucking could not get
pregnant. And, given how that was every woman, and in some cases, even the men wound up pregnant
as well – which is very creepy!!
*Bow had anal sex with Man-at-Arms AND the Red Knight and now he – meaning Bow – is pregnant!
Because at the bear back Get yo’ Drink on, Get yo’ smoke on, Get yo’ Fuck on, that’s what he
did!! So, that’s what he did! The sad part is, he couldn’t know whose the baby’s daddy was!
Well, we can go on Jerry Springer for that! Had he been smart, he would have taken ‘*the morning
After Pill!*’
Now he has to explain this anyone who is wondering why does he want fish and ice cream and
pickles, together? And why his stomach was getting big. And can they have abortions? And why is
there water leaking from his ass? And where would the baby come out when it was time? And can
they have their tubes tied or cinged? Do they have periods? And could he have the baby natural
or would he have a C – section? Just shut up and watch the damned clip!
*Clip**sexy Male voice then, a Very Sexy MALE ASIAN with his shirt off appears and my eyes
oogoling * “The human body is a phenomenal machine. The body has many different ways to
reproduction. For women, even though their bodies are made for reproduction, their bodies can
undergo through transformation process rather quickly.
The change in hormones, as well as the whole losing the female parts and gaining male parts is a
breeze. Ok, on to my favorite part, the MALE body! Hear numerous ohs ahs.
And then one yelled out “Put that hoe up again.” (Eyes oogoling the naked male body, and he
gains a trouser snake. A nice snake! My eyes continue oogoling. Removing pants and boxers in my
mind.) For the male body, it can develop female reproductive organs. This usually hurts the male
because he goes through the process – alone. This usually happens if the male body becomes used
to anal sex for long periods. The transaction can usually if the male is gay, and can have a
baby though cesarean section. We can have twins, triplets, quads, octo’s, and however many
BABIES THAT ANY WOMAN CAN at once!!
Now I noticed that no one mentioned STDs. There have been major strides in that department. We
have irradiated Aids and HIV. Everything else, well, they’re there!”
“Was in the smeging smeg was that?” said Rimmer.
“The smeg if I know”, said Lister. “Scoot. I don’t have any room.”
“What I want to know is who produced this… this piece of… comedy?” said Rimmer, scooting and
laughing.
“Um… it says the producer is a ve… ve…vejgeta9. And betaed by sallycandance whoever or whatever
that is, Rimsy.”
“This vejgeta9” breathed Rimmer.
“Wonder if this ‘vejgeta9’ is a guy.”
“Of course YOU’D want to know if it’s a guy or a girl!!” laughed Lister.
“No, it’s because women have been known to write good fanfics, so I’m assuming this script had
to have come from a woman. Look at the facts. Have either one of us have been partnered with an
orks in this fic?”
“No,” said Lister.
“Have we been with those hairy, ugly, things and talk all screwed up?”
”No,” said Lister.
Do you dread coming to work because of what, or who you maybe pair up with? Well, do you? asked
Rimmer.
“No”, said Lister.
“Well, I believe it’s a man. Wanna bet on it?”
Rimmer smiled, and said “Sure, Listy, why not? After all, I’ve been with EVERYONE under the
known Sun. Trust me; this could not be a man writing this!”
“Huh? You have? But seeing the way it’s written, I still say man, it’s a guy wrote this.”
Listy grinned too.” And if I win, you can’t fuck me for a month. And you have to cook me
favorite chicken vindaloo, as well as eat it for two weeks. Don’t look so worried, I’ll give you
me grans recipe!”
Rimmer hastily agreed and said, “Well, I want you to be a bottom for me for a whole month”.
No ‘I don’t feel like it’, or ‘Not tonight Rimsy, I’ve got a headache’. Just come in, bend over,
and tell me how smeging wonderful I am!”
Lister smiled at him.
“Why have me say something you know I normally say anyway?” said Lister.
“I know, but you know, I never get tired of hearing it!” said Rimmer. “Let’s check for her or
him out on the internet. There’s gotta be something there,” said Rimmer.
“No need”, said Lister.
“What?”Said Rimmer.
“There’s a profile inside here,” said Lister. “And I was right!! It is a guy!! And he’s a right
sexy bugger, too! Too bad he only likes Asians. Oop’s Asians and Listy and maybe Rimsy, if he
can keep his mouth shut! ”
“Let me see. “Said Rimmer. “Well, you’re right! So, does my servitude begin now?” Lister though
for a moment, then said “I release you from your sexual duties. I think I need some this of this
(grab Rimmer’s trou in the front) tonight.”
And I think this chapter…
“Wait!” We have a season to finish recording!!”
“Yes Listy! But since you are – wait- you’re going to have sex with Rimsy, right?”
“Right.”
Let me grab my camcorder!! ~ Chapter 3 cumming soon!!
Hope everyone enjoys the fic!
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no subject
Date: 2013-02-16 05:36 pm (UTC)