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The day Lister, Rimmer, The Trojan Man, The Marlboro Man, He – man, She – Ra,
He –monk, She- Whore, Glimmer, Catra, Scorpia, Skeltor, Beast Man, Hordak, Horde

Dominatrix, Castaspella, Swift Wind, Another Horse, some various Horses, The Red

Knight, Man At Arms, Orko, Steve, Blue, Queen Celeste, King Babar, various

Rhinos, The Flintstones, The Jetsons, G.I. Joe, Cobra, Harry Potter, Ron Wesley,

Hermione whateverherlastnamewas, Percy Wesley, Mr. Wesley, Draco Malfoy, the

Ghost Busters, Ghostbusters, Sitting Ducks Vampy The Vampire ( and he/she has

it’s he/she/ it’s own theme song!!, Pingu, The A Team, The Village People, the

people in the village of Bright Moon, Batman, Robin, Superman, Punky Brewster,

Rainbow Bright, Freddie Cruger, Jason, Jason as a little kid, Jason’s Mom, Bugs

Bunny, Daffy Duck, Brave Star (has his own theme song ,too) Tex Hex, Amy

Winehouse, Barney, kids from Barney’s show, Big Bird, Oscar the Grouch, Synergy,

Ghost Buggy, Time Hopper, Bert and Ernie, G. I. Joe, Sub-Zero, Scorpion, Sonia,

Kano, Johnny Cage, Lui Kane, Ghost, Pokémon, Ash, Brock, Jack Sparrow, the rest

of cast, The cast from The Lord of the Rings, Ghost in the shell, Dragon Ball Z,

Dragon Ball GT, and Dragon Ball - I can’t think of any more ( And btw if you

want otp hacked and slashed, just tell me, and I’ll hack at them until there’s no

more!! And there may be more if I can convince my brain to add more!)


Universe(s): Too many to list, really.

Pairings: Again too many to list. REALLY.

Rating: W for will you CENSOR Superman, Tex Hex, Brave star, Robin, Vampy (the

Vampire) or Horde Dominatrix and a pepperoni stick(Again, I say no because… well,

just read it. You will find out soon enough!!) Also, I’ve gotta add the guys back

in the story, as it really all about them after all!!

Synopsis: It gets crazy with so many universes trying to bang the *CENSORED*

each other, but if there’s a will there’s a way. They had better a * CENSORED*

way. Also, you may notice from other fics, mine’s has the Censor in it. Hell,

it’s just for show, say whatever you want to. It’s a huge *CENSORED* world out

there, and behind the *CENSORED*, sign blocking the words parents don’t want

their kids to read. The whole purpose of this fic is for people to rip it to

shreds.

Disclaimer: I or any help I may have received with this fic has no claim over

the things of Red Dwarf… Grant/Naylor, you guys are a well of inspiration to me

and every ‘Dwarfer’ (that sounds weird, really weird!!) out there, which is how I

came up with idea, well, that and the fagtasic kiss that took place for our

boys!

Further, take in notice that I do not work at WB, and any character(s) are being

utilized in a fun and marry way. I (we) have no intentions of selling this work

or any works produced by this work. Viewer discretion is advised. And this is NOT

WORK SAFE!! Also, if anyone is viewing this work of art is under the age of 18,

or whatever is legal in your country.

Please note that I, nor any conglobation parties do not have played no part in

your child (ren) or animals, or your cousin Becky Sue Lynn viewing this material.

For you morons and stupid people out there it says keep your damned kids AWAY

from the INTERNET! I’m only a fan boy, with no money, and a whole lot of time to

be creative in the ‘Red Dwarf’ universe, so please don’t sue me. Read it,

comment, and print it. Whatever! Use it in your bird cages’ litter paper!

Part 3 of ??

Superman got home from what else? Saving people in Metropolis! He was tired of

being the rescuer of the damn people. No people saying thank you’s, no cakes, any

pies, or any cookies, or cakes! No pudding, either! Not even a kiss! Or even a

hug! No tug and pull either! (Yes, I could have continued with ‘Superman’s

tirade, but where would we be? You with a splitting headache and me…yeah, we were

getting back to the story.)

Superman took of his cape and uniform, headed towards the kitchen, scratch his

groin and bent over looking for the mayo, ham, cheese, tomato and lettuce and

then farts so loud people on the street begins to scream and hide under and

inside trash cans. And that was BEFORE smell rolled out, which killed almost all

of the people in a 5 mile radius. He grunted, scratched his arse, and went to

sandwich making. It hadn’t always like this. Hence the flashback music and

squiggly lines.

‘Que ‘70’s flash back porn music… (Umm, wait, where did that track go...?) Fudge

it. Que ’70’s porn music. And who are the porn actors Debbie from Debbie bangs

Dallas or Texas, or Fort Knott’s, or the whole The World or some censored or

whatever or whoever since she did the whole world and created some nasty, skaky,

(I ain’t done, yet!) censored smelly censor! And some dude from gay porn. He

calls himself bisexual, which works for us!

Voices of a man and a woman and animal moans and groans. Another male and

another female moan and an animal in the background, squeaking saying in a

whisper ‘DO IT!’ AND now they say do it over and over and over again. Then more

moaning and groaning! (That’s disturbing, really!!) Then she says ‘Hit me in my

back’. The man looked at her and thinks,

‘I didn’t think the broad was into S&M, but here goes and CENSOR’. And she wants

me to CENSOR her hamster!? Hell no, I am NOT going to even going to ATTEMPT

that!! ‘“WINSLOW!! GET MY AGENT on phone NOW!!”

Well, he got the agent on the phone, (Reenactment) ‘Joe baby, if that’s what the

director wants, baby, give to him HARD!!!’ ‘And you can hit ME from the back HARD

afterword’s’!

Joe agreed with him, give it HARD and REPETITIVELY! He went out the office,

grabbed a que - tip that was hanging around the service cart. He doesn’t know

really knows HOW S&M works or what S&M even is!! ‘I mean anyway? Do I tie her up…

Wait, that bsmd, or something, with whips and chains! He was really going thru a

loop! Cleary, she was into some really kinky CENSER!*@

But he learned it out of magazine! And he couldn’t try it on anybody. All he knew

is cause his partner pain. He’ll have a go at it but, what about a pet? Before he

went back however, he needed a stiff drink, and NOW!

He’d figure it out, somehow. She said “Hit her in her her back”, then that’s

what’s she’d get! He hit her in the head then pulled her and the hamster and

slaps the censor out of them, then CENSORS the CENSOR out the hamster with the

que-tip!! Maybe a little too hard, but he didn’t give a CENSOR! Then, without any

warning, he flips up in the bed and karate kicks her in her taco! They pass out

after they fall out the bed.

Then the director says “CUT!! We need the next broad and hamster up here NOW!

The old broad and hamster was then pulled off screen and thrown them down the

chute, which to the furnace. The furnace shone brightly, as if it knowingly by

sending her and the little rat down continues to feed it.

It did no justice rather who they down if it were a hot guy, hot girl, Gay,

straight, Lesbos, Bi, it didn’t matter to it. It had a memory of the time where

there was a Gay party and 3 really hot guys fell down the chute! 6 meals that

day! But it couldn’t complain, just as long as it’s fed 3 to 4 times a day! 6

times a day was a rare treat indeed!

It usually happened when the people up their got into what the furnace calls

the “special kool – aid” (It gives me gas!)and something it heard the people

called ‘body shots’ and ‘kool- aid shots! (It gave me the screaming shits, it

did!!!) That’s when somebody gets too drunk and fell down to him! They waited for

the new broad to get on the bed. She did, although she left her hamster and her

pussy downstairs for safe keeping.

“Joe, here’s the situation: we ARE NOT doing ‘Beat the CENSOR down and WHEN SHE’S

OUT, GET all HER MONEY, CENSOR HER! NOR IS IT RUSH THE CENSOR, kick her in her

taco, and her CENSOR TOO!’

“I got it. But she was asking me to do it,” said Joe.

“I DON’T CARE IF SHE ASKED YOU TO CENSOR IN A GLASS AND CENSOR IN A BOWL AND FEED

IT TO HER!! Or she wants you to munch on hamster CENSOR; WE’RE NOT DOING IT

HERE!!”,

“NOW GET UP THERE AND FUCK HER NOW!!!”

“Yes sir!” Both men think:

“I should have to stuck to gay porn!!”

Joe (small censor censor) Jade forgets porn music, as music changes to Barry

White speaking. “Brother, you think you doin’ something with that CENSOR small

CENSOR? Turn that heifer over to a REAL MAN! Barry heads over to bed) whips out a

huge 14” CENSOR she started to moan and groan before he had a chance to take off

his pants!! Cheesy porn music CHANGES to one of his hits,’ ‘Can’t get enough of

your love’ and they struggled like ‘dogs in heat’.

Then we get on to the part when it’s time for the “GREAT VAMPY THE VAMPIRE! And

I have my own theme music!! Wanna hear it? Well here it comes!” (Donna

Summers ‘Bad girl’ plays in the background) (Background lights up, 2 men and 2

drag queens come up from the floor, along with a stripper pole came out with

them. ‘1,2,3,4 –Who’s a vampire whore? IT’S VAMPY THE VAMPIRE –‘Yeah CENSOR, work

it! Work It! *(is it woman or girl, ‘cus she she’s a big mama jama! Don’t ask me!

It pays WELL,) JUST DON’T CALL IT A ‘IT’!

YEAH!! TOOT TOOT (exhale) BEEP BEEP (INHALE) TOOT TOOT! Bad it, what sad it. Bad,

Bad, Bad it, talking ‘bout sad, sad it! Then the men got on the pole all hell

breaks loose. The men decided to do tricks (not turn tricks” on as in on the

street but tricks, as magicians I don’t mean that one, eyes up, people!!) by a

stiletto pump and an out brawl breaks out.

Vampy said “Don’t call me an IT, CENSOR!!”

Then he/she/it grins, then start to play with his/ her/ its self. It/he/she grew

teeth, and a CENSOR. AND it TALKED!!! Yes, Her/his/its va-ja-ja talks!! All that

was missing a pair of legs, and it was ready to go!! Ask it what it likes more,

and that’s when the Real Action starts. We’re closing the door on that, locking

it with several pad locks. That will give me nightmares for a least a week!

Back to other … news, umm, even worse cheap porn music playing, and the men

(Barry and Joe are… kissing!? Yes, they’re kissing. Sloppy Joe’s Auntie

Mayberry!!! The heifer joins in as well as the two men (one has a stiletto

*shudders *still stuck in his head. Um, YOU go ahead, we’ll just move along…

And with Vampy locked in a broom closet, the 5 um…people locked at the bedroom

getting their *CENSER* on, let’s check uh; let’s check back on Super Man, shall

we?

Superman was on the phone talking to Robin. He was on the verge of cracking, and

needed someone‘s shoulder to cry on and on maybe little tug and release, of which

he wanted the wanted #2 most of all first.

“Superman, what DO YOU want?” He was listening to gay bar music.

“I want – need to talk to The Bat.”

Hmm, the tone in his voice spoke novels.

“O.k. let me pull up the Bat map.”Bat’s close to your location. I’ll send him a

Zap Superman, and he’s got it. He’s headed to your apartment. AND I’ll be there

in a moment. AND NO SNUGGLING THE BAT!!! That’s MY JOB!!

“Fine.”

It wasn’t like he didn’t like Superman! He was trying to secure that position

stayed filled. Superman sounded depressed. Oh well, wasn’t his problem.

1 hour later…

Batman found a very drunk Superman and had a partial stiffie. Correction: a full

on stiffie. Batman took the hard body, hard CENSOR Superman, entered his

apartment and sat him down. Superman was always happy drunk. “Hey (hic) there my

fine (hic) fellow man (hic) want to cum up (hic) to my room and see why they call

(hic) me (hic) the Man of Steel?(hic), then heads to the corner to pee and vomit)

Batman thinks about the good ole days. He fondly remembered everything. “Come

with me, let me show the wonders of the galaxies”.

Well, he was right. They saw moons, planets; even see what was beyond this galaxy

and in far off galaxies. He wondered if all their trips would always be this way.

He always felt special, because he was the only one true love of his life, Robin

was just a boy toy, he knew where his was in that aspect. He would go if Superman

and he got back together. And he was sure Robin wouldn’t go without a fight. This

was fine by the Bat.

He sat down on the floor, remembering the good times when he was struck in the

head by something hard and it wasn’t Superman’s colossal (CENSOR) and he was on the couch and Robin was nowhere as big as that... unless…

But in the mean time…

Vampy was getting beyond pissed. It…

“DON’T CALL ME AN IT, DAMN IT!” screams Vampy.

I but was going to let you out, but since you came’ on you’re on your

little ‘monthly’, you need pads or tampons?’ OK, well I’ll go then. What can I

say? She knows we have nothing better to do then to make fun of it. But we’re

done with her/it/him for now, so let’s send it far off away, this time! Hey, how

about a dildo just for playing.”

Then he/she/it/thing, “DON’T CALL ME AN ‘IT’,“ screams Vampy! We better move on

to ‘New Texas’. Come on y’all! Rocket’s leavin’ in a few minutes, y’all!!T minus

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. And we have lift off!

And I’m flying ahead, to you know, make sure the set, is indeed set. “


‘Next on: BRAVE STARR – And he his own theme song, too!! Romance is in air for

our cast!!’ Oh censor…

Bravestarr… Bravestarr…

In a distant time and faraway

place, the planet of New Texas floats deep in place.

Sky’s with 3 suns, land of pleasures ore,

The kerium rush brought outlaws by the score.

Bravestarr… Bravestarr

Then one day a law man appeared,

With powers of Hawk, Wolf, Puma, and Bear,

Protector of Peace,

Mystic Man from afar,

Champion of Justice Marshall Bravestar!!

Bravestarr, calling BRAVESTARR (whip cracks)

Eyes like a Hawk, Ears of a wolf,

Bravestar…calling Bravestarr (whip cracks)

Strength of a Bear, Speed of a Puma!!

BRAVESTARR, BRAVESTARR!!

Today on My Talk show, we will talk to one great hero – Bravestar.! (Women start

screaming and pulling panties off, men take their boxers out off bags, all

prepare to start throw them on the stage.) And later, I’m not only going to give

a gift to a deserving mom, I’m going to give something to EVERYONE!! So let start

the show!!

Now let’s hear it for BRAVESTARR!!! (in house band plays BRAVESTARR’S theme,

crowd goes wild) Welcome to My Show! I’m the host, Brave Heart, and welcome to My

Show!! So, let’s get started!! He’s tall, tan, and sexy, and you would love to

meet him in a alley, well depends on you doing there! Here he is, defender of

Planet New Texas, Here he is, BRAVESTAR!

(CROWD GOES WILD AS BRAVE STARR COMES ON STAGE A PAIR OF BOARD HIS TRADE MARK

COLORS. THEN HE PULLED OUT 5 T SHIRTS AND HE TOSSED THEM OUT TO THE PEOPLE. CROWD

GOES WILD!) Bravestar, I hear ‘Congratulations’ are in order? (CROWD GOES

BALTIC) Settle down, people, settle down!! (He laughs) “Yes, there is,

BraveHeartt. Can I call you ‘Jimmy’? BraveHeartt nods, thinking ‘You can call me

ANYTHING you want’, “I have big news. Well, you know how I long I been fighting

Tex Hex for what seemed like eons?”Everyone nodded. Well, I was wondering about

what wondering what he would do if I asked him out on a date.” (Crowd goes quiet,

even the crickets…) “What did I say something wrong? Well, we were fighting; I

grabbed him by the collar. I had a moment of incite, so, asked him out. Lucky for

him, he said ‘yes!’ We had a good time, and he’s since moved from ‘potential

date’ to ‘potential mate.’ And he’s one hellofa kisser, too!”

“Well, that’s all fine for him, but it seems like you’ve lost some well deserving

fans”, BraveHeartt noted.” What would happen guys get married, or adopt

children?” BraveHeartt looking green like he had one of Vipra’s cookies, and then

was told they was baked in her personal “hot box”. “Well, there are the people

that will stand up with me and cheer us on and there will be people who heckler

us because of what we stand for, or who we love. We’ll be back in a mo. When we

return, some questions answered!’What happened with JB?’ ‘Does he have a

penis?’ ‘Does it hurt?’’Man if it were me, there’s no way in hell I would Censer

Tex Hex!’ When My show returns.

Back to our boys!

Lister got out of the shower feeling squeaky clean. It hadn’t been to long since…

it was Saturday, actually. He remembered because he was a ‘daisy’ he didn’t want

to smell like one.(No pun with David Wenham)

“But that was all they had!’ said Rimmer.

“You should be happy that I even shower or even groom meself! I do for you, you

know.” said Lister. And I even clip me toenails with me toenail clippers not with

me smeging mouth, and I even let you cut me smeging hair!!

Rimmer cracks a smile. “That’s why I love you. I knew you would you say that.”

Then there a pounding at the back door. Considering it was 11:30 at night and

Listy was naked, and NOBODY should see him like this!! David had guns in every

room, including the kitchen made a notion for a pistol he always in the top

drawer. Rimmer got him a whisk! David looks at it , hand it back, demands his gun

(finally!) and opens the door and sees …

What in the smeging HELL?

There in the door was a Dominatrix like thing. He called it an ‘it’ because he

wasn’t sure what the semging hell it was!! Listy changed, cocked his gun, and

said,

“What in the smeging smeg hell are you? We can smeging get to know each other

just answer the question first?”

The Dominatrix looked at Lister, then at Rimmer, back to our Lister, then back to

Rimmer and decided a deep, sexy voice would be better.

Adjusting his/her/it’s almost foot long dong in its meat-package, he smiled and

introducing himself as Manuel, the butcher.

“Everyone who knows me knows why I’m called that,” he said. Our boys stared at

each other, and then back at Manuel and his package, then at each other again.

Lister saw Rimmer’s mind beginning to formulate a plan.

Oh SNAP!! Will Rimsey stray, or will Listy? Who knows, but check back and read

the news. And if Rimsey does stray away, I have a opening Listy! Male seeking

boyfriend!!