Vignette: Rest in Peace (G)

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Fic: Rest in Peace
Pairing: Rimmer/Lister pre-slash
Rating: G
Summary: Lister's snoring is keeping Rimmer up.

"It's not fair," Rimmer whinged, peering into the mirror at the dark circles under his eyes, as his bunkmate, looking chirpy and well-rested munched contentedly on a bowl of curried cornflakes. "Once you're dead, you should be able to rest in peace. There's a reason they put it on all the tombstones, you know."

"Not all," Lister countered. "Me gran's said, 'Now she won't have to raise hell, 'cause that's where she's going.'"

Rimmer snorted. "No respect for the dead, Lister, that's your problem. No respect. Your utter lack of good taste aside, one might think that, being dead, I might, at the very least, be entitled to, as I said, rest in peace. But do you know what I have to put up with instead? Do you?"

Lister rolled his eyes, "Tell me, Rimmer."

Rimmer rounded on him, nostrils flaring. "I have to put up with you, snoring like a wet, pregnant warthog all night long, that's what! Look at me. I have bags under my eyes. Bags, Listy. I'm a hologram. I shouldn't be able to get bags under my eyes, but I've managed it, because the disgusting noises you make could wake the goddamn dead. I'm a wreck, and it's all thanks to you."

"Oh, eh." Lister put down his bowl to look him over slowly. "You don't look as bad as all that." He winked cheerily, tilted his chair forwards to return the two front legs to the ground with a thump, and strolled from the room. Let the smeghead stew on that. Give him something else to keep him up nights.

Comments

[janamelie.livejournal.com]

Awww, this is funny and adorable. I get a very Series 1 vibe from it (I don't know whether that was your intention).

And Lister's Gran's headstone? Classic. :D

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I was thinking Series 1 or 2 when I was writing this. Glad you liked it.

[sallycandance.livejournal.com]

HAHAHAA! Oh, this is perfect! Poor, suffering Rimsy, I almost feel sympathetic. Lister handled him just perfectly. And I love the headstone inscription.

I love it!!

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it! I was feeling sorry for Rimmer, too, but then I'm pretty sleep deprived myself.

[bayliss.livejournal.com]

excellent. That was too adorably funny. :-)

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Thank you!

[missflibble.livejournal.com]

Tease!Lister is a tease.

[saylee.livejournal.com]

That he is. Thanks for reading!

[beetle-breath.livejournal.com]

You captured their flirty bickering so well!

[saylee.livejournal.com]

Thank you!