[identity profile] roadstergal.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] reddwarfslash
I was listening to the abovementioned song at work, and this popped into my head, and it popped out onto the computer at lunch. Concrit appreciated - I dunno how the narrative voice change works.

Yeh always take the easy way out, doncha?

Date: 2006-03-16 01:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kahvi.livejournal.com
Have sent you some concrit. :)

the caverns of his nostrils were sucking in book-flavored air with every breath.
Mmm... Book-flavored air! Also, nice nostril imagery.

"Quite..." he scrunched his nose, "...something."
Great line. Quite Pratchettian, although I know you haven't read him.

I swear, if you was still Captain Emerald, I'd take those braces and wrap 'em around yer testicles so tight they'd pinch right off.
This earned a "laugh-out-loud while alone in the apartment" moment. *giggle*

"Nine, the ladies tell me."
Rimmer pulled a face. "Now that is not something I need to hear."

Speak for yourself, Rimmer... *revells in mental imagery*

Aahhh... Ending... What could I possibly say? Very... Something. Very something indeed. ;) Great Lister voice through this, by the way.

Date: 2006-03-16 05:18 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kahvi.livejournal.com
Hahaha - brilliant! Love the new joke. :)

Date: 2006-03-19 12:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pikapal101.livejournal.com
Awww, so angsty and cute at the end.
And yet upsetting. :')
But that's okay, Rimsy'll be back to save the day! >:)
Or to have hot sticky man sex with Lister, either one.
*shrugs and giggles*

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