Ficlet: Denial. Rimmer/Lister.

[roadstergal.livejournal.com]

This is Rimmer's view of what kahvi wrote in Hours, so read the one under this first...

He didn't think that he could bear it.

Comments

[jargonelle.livejournal.com]

Ooh this is intriguing - I love POV switch type things.

There are a few spelling mistakes and a couple of odd tense changes that I could point out if you don't have anyone else to do that, but otherwise, wow, this was quite chilling actually.

He felt horror at the very idea of Lister's grotty hands on him. He also felt skin-crawling excitement at the idea of anyone's hands on him, and that gave rise to a meta-horror at the very idea of his own excitement at the very idea of Lister's grotty hands on him. - is a great line and I love the whole last section, particularly His simulated lips are not red and swollen; the fevered rush of simulated blood through his brain has not left his face flushed. The only sign of what happened is his disordered, tangled mat of curls. It's angry and upset and quite the complement to 'Hours' - you two make a great team.

Oh, and the very last word. Very nice indeed.

[roadstergal.livejournal.com]

Danke for the feedback! And yes, I have my email addy up so folk can send over any corrections they see that need to be made. :)

[kahvi.livejournal.com]

GO TEAM!

Hehehe... roadstergal writes a great Rimmer. :)