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I'm a newbie so here is my offering: Lister/Rimmer Pre-slash fic that may become a series if there is enough good feedback. Very short little ficlet.

Author: NatalieJ/Kareswen
Title: I'd Bet My Kippers
Rating: G (for now)
Summary: Set series IV, 'Dimension Jump'. Just before Ace Rimmer leaves, he tells Lister what he knows...
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me, especially the first bit of dialogue that is lifted straight from the episode script.

Series: Red Dwarf IV, Episode five, "Dimension Jump". Dialogue up to the # is from episode.

I’d bet my Kippers

By NatalieJ

"Skipper, I’ve decided I’m not going to stay," Ace told Lister as he finished sewing up his arm. Lister folded his arms, obviously unhappy.

"Why?"

"Him and me," he replied without even removing the cigarette from between his lips. "It would never work. I can’t stand the man. To see myself so warped, bitter, weaselly. The man’s a maggot. [#]" He paused. "And he’s so smegging jealous."

"Well that’s obvious," Lister deadpanned.

"Is it really Skipper?" He broke the thread, finishing his stitches.

"Well, yeah; he wants to be what you are," Lister replied, dismissing any other explanation away immediately.

Curious, Ace asked, "You’ve never noticed?"

"Noticed what? The fact that he’s a total smeghead?" Lister laughed without conviction.

"No Skipper," Ace stubbed out his cigarette in his hand without even blinking and stood. "The fact that he’s totally hopped for you. He’s jealous because he couldn’t bear you having fun with the more successful him."

"You what?! Rimmer, in love with me?" Ace nodded in response. "Ace, you’re mad, man."

Ace shook his head, his fringe flopping against his forehead. "No I’m not, Skipper," he put a hand on Lister’s shoulder. "That man loves you, and I’d bet my kippers that underneath it all, you feel the same way." He smirked.

"Nah, man, you got it all wrong!"

Smirking even more, Ace laughed. "I’m rarely wrong… Well, I’m off," Ace pulled down his sleeves. He let out a deep breath. "Smoke me a kipper – I’ll be back for breakfast." He walked the two metres to the door; almost as a second thought, he turned back to Lister. "Don’t waste your time, Skipper. Use every second." With that, Ace Rimmer was gone.

Lister sighed, took one look in the direction of his Rimmer’s whereabouts – the command centre – and walked in the opposite direction, off to his quarters.

Final Note: If it’s good, say so. I may turn this into a series of small ficlets… with actual slash eventually.

Nat