Cheap Lines. PG. R/L, C/C.
May. 27th, 2006 03:13 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
roadstergal.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
reddwarfslashSorry, I had to write a companion piece to Far From Home With A Cat. Unless, of course, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
zekkass minds, in which case I'll yank it.
I have gratuitously put this in VII between Tikka and Stoke, for the R/L section. Spoilers up through there. There's also a gratuitous evocation of the midsection scene in Duct Soup, with Lister and the long johns.
*stomp* *stomp*
"Look, mate, just calm down, would ya?"
*stomp* *glare* *stomp*
Lister sighed and though unhappy thoughts about Legion. The hard-light drive gave Rimmer new ways to be a total smeghead - such as stomping around in Lister's quarters while Lister was trying to sleep. Lister shut his eyes, but the sound of Rimmer stomping about could not be ignored. Lister was sure that Rimmer knew that, as well. He moaned and opened his eyes again. "I'm tryin' to sleep. Would you just go back to your own smeggin' quarters?"
*stomp* *stomp* *clang*
Rimmer cursed as he looked at Lister instead of where he was stomping, and stubbed his toe. Yes, his pain responses were intact, as Legion promised. Lister had no idea about the promise that the pleasure ones were, as well. He had yet to see any evidence of Rimmer doing anything for pleasure. Well, aside from annoying him, which he hardly needed a hard-light body to enjoy. "How can you sleep with that going on?" Rimmer waved his hand generally in an out-of-the-door direction.
"Whot, the fellahs?"
"Yes, the," Rimmer pulled a lousy imitation of Lister's accent, "fellahs. Two blokes materialize out of nowhere on the table in the middle of dinner, tangled in the most obscene convulsions, despite being fully dressed, and you think it's all perfectly normal."
Lister sighed and sat up. "I din' say I thought it was perfectly normal. I just don't see what we can do about it, is all. Krytes thinks he's found a dimensional tear that will get them back home, though. When we get there - we'll see. In the meantime, they seem like nice enough blokes, don't they?"
"Lister, one of them is shagging the Cat!" Rimmer pounded the edge of one hand into the palm of the other to punctuate the last and third-to-last words.
"Well, they both seem to be enjoying it..."
"Enjoying it?" Rimmer's voice leapt into new nasal heights of offense. "Well, yes, as long as they're enjoying it, it's all ducky, isn't it? Just a little bestiality here and there? All in a day's work for the Starbuggers!" He swung around on his toe and stared at the door with his arms folded.
Something he said nagged at Lister, and he considered it as he looked at Rimmer's stiff back. He smiled as it fell into place, and stood up. His lunch nearly fell out of his long johns, and he started to tuck it back - and then reconsidered, and let it flop. "Bestiality?"
"That's usually what you call interspecies sex, isn't it?"
"And that's all that bothers you?" Lister walked quietly towards Rimmer, a grin tugging at his mouth.
"What, isn't that enough?" Rimmer groused, oblivious.
"Well, they are two men, you know. I'd think the - you know - homosexual," Lister drew the word out, "side of it would bother you?"
Rimmer turned back to Lister, a frown on his face. The frown stayed frozen as he noted that Lister was out of bed, very close, and showing an unsubtle bulge in his long johns. His eyebrows started to clamber off of the top of his forehead.
"Not a bit?" Lister asked, openly grinning, now. "Not the last teeny little bit?"
Rimmer's mouth worked, but nothing came out. His crossed arms slipped out of each other.
Lister walked closer, close enough to almost touch the hologram, and stood there. "Oh, come on, man, I know it bothers you. Manly man like you and all?" He had his face upturned at this, and made sure to work his lips just a little more than strictly necessary. He licked them after this speech, not a lubricating flick of the tongue, but a long, slow swipe across his upper lip, to accentuate what a long tongue he had. Girls loved it. He had picked them up in pubs on the basis of nothing more than that lick.
Rimmer's mouth continued to work, but now the lips were trembling. He leaned forward, captivated, just enough to touch his lips to Lister's. Once he did, of course, once he had committed himself to making that move, Lister swept that long tongue over Rimmer's lips, then stuck it in the hologram's mouth. Rimmer's lips were still trembling, and he stroked his own tongue over the foreign one in his mouth as he closed his eyes with a shuddering sigh...
Then he jumped back, one hand to his mouth. He staggered backwards out of the room, eyes wide, bumping into the table and the wall and the door before turning to slap the Door Open switch and hauling rear down the corridor.
Lister had to giggle. Ah, the facade had cracked. For the rest - he was patient.
If nothing else, he had at least gotten a good night's sleep out of it, he thought as he lay back down on his bunk. Provided, of course, Cat and that bald bloke kept it down a little.
zekkass minds, in which case I'll yank it.I have gratuitously put this in VII between Tikka and Stoke, for the R/L section. Spoilers up through there. There's also a gratuitous evocation of the midsection scene in Duct Soup, with Lister and the long johns.
*stomp* *stomp*
"Look, mate, just calm down, would ya?"
*stomp* *glare* *stomp*
Lister sighed and though unhappy thoughts about Legion. The hard-light drive gave Rimmer new ways to be a total smeghead - such as stomping around in Lister's quarters while Lister was trying to sleep. Lister shut his eyes, but the sound of Rimmer stomping about could not be ignored. Lister was sure that Rimmer knew that, as well. He moaned and opened his eyes again. "I'm tryin' to sleep. Would you just go back to your own smeggin' quarters?"
*stomp* *stomp* *clang*
Rimmer cursed as he looked at Lister instead of where he was stomping, and stubbed his toe. Yes, his pain responses were intact, as Legion promised. Lister had no idea about the promise that the pleasure ones were, as well. He had yet to see any evidence of Rimmer doing anything for pleasure. Well, aside from annoying him, which he hardly needed a hard-light body to enjoy. "How can you sleep with that going on?" Rimmer waved his hand generally in an out-of-the-door direction.
"Whot, the fellahs?"
"Yes, the," Rimmer pulled a lousy imitation of Lister's accent, "fellahs. Two blokes materialize out of nowhere on the table in the middle of dinner, tangled in the most obscene convulsions, despite being fully dressed, and you think it's all perfectly normal."
Lister sighed and sat up. "I din' say I thought it was perfectly normal. I just don't see what we can do about it, is all. Krytes thinks he's found a dimensional tear that will get them back home, though. When we get there - we'll see. In the meantime, they seem like nice enough blokes, don't they?"
"Lister, one of them is shagging the Cat!" Rimmer pounded the edge of one hand into the palm of the other to punctuate the last and third-to-last words.
"Well, they both seem to be enjoying it..."
"Enjoying it?" Rimmer's voice leapt into new nasal heights of offense. "Well, yes, as long as they're enjoying it, it's all ducky, isn't it? Just a little bestiality here and there? All in a day's work for the Starbuggers!" He swung around on his toe and stared at the door with his arms folded.
Something he said nagged at Lister, and he considered it as he looked at Rimmer's stiff back. He smiled as it fell into place, and stood up. His lunch nearly fell out of his long johns, and he started to tuck it back - and then reconsidered, and let it flop. "Bestiality?"
"That's usually what you call interspecies sex, isn't it?"
"And that's all that bothers you?" Lister walked quietly towards Rimmer, a grin tugging at his mouth.
"What, isn't that enough?" Rimmer groused, oblivious.
"Well, they are two men, you know. I'd think the - you know - homosexual," Lister drew the word out, "side of it would bother you?"
Rimmer turned back to Lister, a frown on his face. The frown stayed frozen as he noted that Lister was out of bed, very close, and showing an unsubtle bulge in his long johns. His eyebrows started to clamber off of the top of his forehead.
"Not a bit?" Lister asked, openly grinning, now. "Not the last teeny little bit?"
Rimmer's mouth worked, but nothing came out. His crossed arms slipped out of each other.
Lister walked closer, close enough to almost touch the hologram, and stood there. "Oh, come on, man, I know it bothers you. Manly man like you and all?" He had his face upturned at this, and made sure to work his lips just a little more than strictly necessary. He licked them after this speech, not a lubricating flick of the tongue, but a long, slow swipe across his upper lip, to accentuate what a long tongue he had. Girls loved it. He had picked them up in pubs on the basis of nothing more than that lick.
Rimmer's mouth continued to work, but now the lips were trembling. He leaned forward, captivated, just enough to touch his lips to Lister's. Once he did, of course, once he had committed himself to making that move, Lister swept that long tongue over Rimmer's lips, then stuck it in the hologram's mouth. Rimmer's lips were still trembling, and he stroked his own tongue over the foreign one in his mouth as he closed his eyes with a shuddering sigh...
Then he jumped back, one hand to his mouth. He staggered backwards out of the room, eyes wide, bumping into the table and the wall and the door before turning to slap the Door Open switch and hauling rear down the corridor.
Lister had to giggle. Ah, the facade had cracked. For the rest - he was patient.
If nothing else, he had at least gotten a good night's sleep out of it, he thought as he lay back down on his bunk. Provided, of course, Cat and that bald bloke kept it down a little.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 12:56 am (UTC)Rimmer cursed as he looked at Lister instead of where he was stomping, and stubbed his toe.
*giggles* Self-induced pain from Rimmer never ceases to amuse me.
"...it's all ducky..."
There's that phrase again ...
His lunch nearly fell out of his long johns, and he started to tuck it back - and then reconsidered, and let it flop.
Floppy flop flop. *snort*
Lovely. Rimmer ... hopeless. Haha.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 01:42 am (UTC)He's good at that in my fics, isn't he? I wonder how IC that is. :p
Ducky! :D Is that not English, though?
He is hopeless! :p
no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 09:52 am (UTC)*quack*
no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 04:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 12:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 01:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 01:59 am (UTC)Yeah, I'm done advertising now. *g*
no subject
Date: 2006-05-28 03:31 am (UTC)I'll check it out in a bit. I must do housework. :(
no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 09:11 am (UTC)*dies*
That was fantastic! Yay, crossover!
no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 04:25 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-29 07:13 pm (UTC)*giggles*
*does both at the same time*
Yous guys are crazy! But as long as it results in hot R/L action like this, I'm not complaining! (Tiny concrity-bit to be e-mailed. If that's OK?)
The longjohns... Guh.
He had picked them up in pubs on the basis of nothing more than that lick.
Oh Gods... I just bet. *mental images*
Great Lister. :)
no subject
Date: 2006-05-30 02:46 am (UTC)I will check for the email when yours is back up. Or you can just post it - I have a thick skin. ;)
no subject
Date: 2006-05-30 01:07 pm (UTC)*laughs uncontrolably* you just about killed me there xD
no subject
Date: 2006-05-30 04:05 pm (UTC)