(no subject)

[cestlavieminako.livejournal.com]

Characters: Rimmer, Lister
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13 for Rimmer's dirty thoughts
Disclaimer: Don't own 'em.
Notes: This is from Rimmer's point of view, as he muses about being unable to touch anyone, and his growing feelings for Lister.



There are times when I truly despise being a hologram. Just a light projection. Unable to touch anything.

Especially as of late. I can't pinpoint exactly when I began to feel this way, or why, but...ah, Listy, it makes me almost jealous to see others be able to touch you.

Am I that desperate for physical contact? Perhaps I am...it has been over 3 million years since I last touched someone, or done something as simple as hold a book in my hands.

Although it alarms me, I think it's more than that. As abnormal as it is, I think I'm smegging falling for you.

I think I first realized this when we were stranded on that winter planet. I was safe, since I'm already dead, but you...you had only to look forward to starving or freezing to death. Early on, you begged me to talk to you, as you huddled by that puny fire you'd had burning. "Take my mind off it," you'd said.

I had this lovely mental image of sticking my tongue down your throat, stripping you bare, and instructing you to do whatever was necessary to me to keep your body warm and your mind off being hungry. I briefly fancied the idea of taking advantage of you, but I haven't the confidence.

Especially after we had swapped bodies that one time, and I got a look inside your trousers. I mean...smeg. Felt rather insignificant after that for a while.

When the polymorph infiltrated the ship, taking on my mum's form, I suppose everyone thought I was angry at you, as it gloated about how it'd made love to you.

Nope. I was burning with anger that she had touched you before I had. I will freely admit it, my mother was a whore. She slept with anyone. This one time, why did it have to be someone that I cared for?

Even earlier that day, walking in on the compromising position as Kryten was fighting to get the polymorph-boxers off you. I made the comment that "you'd boink anything" to hide the hurt that I felt.

An andriod, a smegging android can touch you, but I can't.

It's just as well, I suppose...even if I somehow could gather the courage to tell you all this and--miracle of miracles--if I could somehow touch you, and you weren't utterly repulsed, I know it wouldn't last.

Good things just don't happen to Arnold Rimmer. After a while, it just all goes bad.

Which is why I'm keeping this secreted away, and bury my feelings.

It's for the best.

Comments

[pheonix-iz-me.livejournal.com]

Very nice.

Some interesting inner thoughts there, and I really wanna see that AU version of Marooned now ;D

It's kinda asking for a post Legion sequel though. I mean to say, it totally stands on it's own, but I would be interested to see where you might take it. If you wanted to.

:)

Phe

[cestlavieminako.livejournal.com]

Heh...I should be getting season 6 from Netflix this weekend, so, after seeing Legion...there could be a sequel. :p I'm slowly catching up on the series, and writing as I go along. Several hours of rewatching previous seasons also get the ol' ideas flowing. But once I get up to Rimmer getting the hard light body, there will be more 'fics, and quite possibly a sequel to this one. ^_^ Glad you liked it!

[kahvi.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed this. It's a neat take on Rimmer; almost Arthur Dent-ish, in a way. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Well written. Tasty!

Teeny bit of concrit; while I loved the Marooned memory (the hotness!), it seems odd to me that Rimmer would remember situation without any bittersweetness seeping in. After all, one of the worst things Lister ever did to him happened while they were there; I found it a little off that he doesn't mention this at all, here.

But yes, good!

[cestlavieminako.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it! ^_^

Hmm...maybe I'll think on it and revise the story a bit to include how pissed Rimmer was after Lister ruined the chest. I was thinking that time kind of dulled the wound a bit; once Rimmer came to realize his feelings about Lister, he moved above and beyond the chest's loss, since it did help keep Lister warm and alive till they were rescued. Not to say that Rimmer forgives and forgets quite that easily, though.

[kahvi.livejournal.com]

That does seems plausible. It wasn't just the loss of the chest though; it was Lister's betrayal. Especially the nature of it; making Rimmer think he'd made a sacrifice when he was really being cowardly and selfish. I mean, Rimmer and Lister got closer on that moon. If it hadn't been for Lister's betrayal, they might have been well on the way to becoming genuine friends afterwards. I think it's a significant turning point in their relationship; when Rimmer realizes Lister is never going to change. It kinda sements his dislike of Lister.

However, I think all of that would work wonderfully within the context of your story, because Rimmer's fantasy happens before that point. Imagine how it must make him feel, afterwards!

One of the things I love about this pairing is that they hate one another and love one another at the same time. ;)

[lilrand0m-chik.livejournal.com]

Aww such a beautiful fic. Are you going to write a sequal? Please do! Perhaps when he finally gets his HardLight body? [although there are many splendid fics on that idea already]

[cestlavieminako.livejournal.com]

There is always the possibility of a sequel, but it will have to wait until I see seasons 6 and 7, since I'm sure there'll be plenty of 'fic fodder in there. ^_^ Glad you liked it, though.

[kahvi.livejournal.com]

Seriously. The UST in those series are thick as custard.

[randysugardandy.livejournal.com]

aww *huggles rimmer plushie* that was hard to read but brilliant, poor rimy T-T (dont worry mate soon you'l be hard light and you can jump lis-!..ahem..)